Bored with life .

[Nagma]

Its really tragic , im 18 , im at the point of my life where im supposed to be the most enthusiastic and all this shit but im just so bored with life . 

Every day passes and life just lives it self , everything repeats each day and im just stuck in this cycling torture of being a victim of time and life . 

I have no motivation for anything and i all wish for is to sleep for a long time without waking up to  struggle trough the meaningless of life when the silent dark of sleep is so much more warmhearted than the inevitable pain and disappointment of living . 

Looking myself from a third person perspective i seem suicidal , pls help . 

 

Edited June 25, 2018 by Nagma

[Light Lover]

I know EXACTLY how you feel man! You are literally an identical description of myself a few years back, 100% true I swear! The thing that saved me was meditation, if you can manage to get a habit of 20-30 mins of that every day for even 1 year, you will attain a level of awarness where you are able to have control over these thoughts and will be a completely different person, I promise, as I was EXACTLY where you are (even in regards to wanting to sleep as it brings more enjoyment and pleasure than waking life) and meditation turned everything around for me, I started meditating when I was like 17 so you can start now! Btw, I am 19 and all is not perfect with me either, so you are not alone, I still have TONS of work to do on women and relationships, my health (as not at a weight I want and still not had sex etc etc...), and am struggling in many other ways as well, maybe even moreso than you, but I am ok with that as I working every day to end these problems and have hope in me that I can beat them or at least accpet them. Are you at college atm or university? I finished college but now am moving onto a job as uni is insanely expensive and a waste of time over here in England Today in fact I have woken up feeling a bit like you, which is rare but it still happens, days where I am sick of it all, you know? Sick of living with my parents, sick of people, sick of trying, sick of problems, sick of life in general...so again you are not alone.

[lmfao]

@Nagma I find it slightly difficult to give advice since I don't know a whole lot about you, but I'll try anyway.  

You sound depressed and tired of life, and I've been in that position a lot. I was practically suicidal half a year ago, and I've been on anti-depressants for 7-8 months and I'm just starting to try and get off of them. 

If you want to try and improve your mood, start exercising and start doing consciousness work, whether it is meditation or yoga. Even if you suck at meditation you'll still see glimpses of enlightenment and true peace of mind if you give meditation a good shot. If you practice meditation, you will start to see just how it is that your mind is constantly lost in thought, and this results in suffering. 

You also sound dissatisfied with your current life situation. You are 18, you still have the oppertunity to "figure out" what you really want from your (present) /(future) (career) /(education). I'm 17 and I've decided to study physics at university because I genuinely enjoy it, even if it is the case that I will not make much money after my degree. I wouldn't be fulfilled by becoming a doctor or something. And so to you, I would say that you need to find something you genuinely enjoy and pursue it with your heart and soul. 

[Nagma]

@Light Lover Thank you for writing to me . I am still in college and i think im going for public university witch is free in France . I wouldn't say it feels good to realize you are not alone stuck in the same shit but it gives some kind of relief . I know theses days where you just dont want to ( everything u said )  . I have tried meditations a few times and it really transforms me but its hard to stuck with habits when school already takes so much of your brain and time and worries ... 

[Hero of Time]

@Nagma I'm sorry to hear about your experience. It must be very discouraging to be at a time in your life where you feel you ought to have a high degree of optimism, only to be faced with the reality that you don’t have any.

I have been helped my a very inexpensive ($29 USD) suite of tools called The Self-Authoring Program. In a couple of hours, it helped me come to terms with some things in my past that many therapy sessions hadn’t uncovered. Perhaps it might help you as well.

It was originally designed for college students, so perhaps it might help you?

[Nagma]

@Hero of Time Thank you very much , i was holding on a mix of plants to not fall too deep  because i refuse to take anti depressants from the main stream " health " industry . I think i need long terms actions like you suggested . 

[Guest Quanty]

You have Lung problems. Switch the focus on the breath, you will sleep a lot in the process, but eventually, you will wake up.

[PsiloPutty]

I was there. At 18....yeah, I was there. Would you believe a stranger telling you that it'll work out OK? Something will come along, maybe today, maybe next month, that will inspire you and send gas to that pilot light you have burning inside you, even if you don't think it's lit. Something to fuel you along. Interest in something, curiosity in something, passion in something. Don't try to imagine what that thing will be - it might be something you've never even thought of before. If you can't dig inside you and find other reasons to stay positive, just know that if you keep your mind open, it will find you, friend.  

In the meantime, keep yourself patient and trust that you're supposed to be here. The universe needs you to be a complete system. It truly would be a flawed place without you. Your being here isn't just because your parents chose to have sex one night; it's much bigger than that. You didn't come into the world; you came out of it. 

[Hero of Time]

3 minutes ago, PsiloPutty said:

The universe needs you to be a complete system. It truly would be a flawed place without you. Your being here isn't just because your parents chose to have sex one night; it's much bigger than that. You didn't come into the world; you came out of it. 

Oh my goodness, this and all of this. What a great encouragement!

[Charlotte]

@PsiloPutty  

[Light Lover]

@Nagma the fact that you are not taking anti-depressents is a great start, most people consume them like candy...you are aware of the dangers of this at least.

[furashido]

On 2018-06-25 at 0:46 PM, Nagma said:

Its really tragic , im 18 , im at the point of my life where im supposed to be the most enthusiastic and all this shit but im just so bored with life . 

Every day passes and life just lives it self , everything repeats each day and im just stuck in this cycling torture of being a victim of time and life . 

I have no motivation for anything and i all wish for is to sleep for a long time without waking up to  struggle trough the meaningless of life when the silent dark of sleep is so much more warmhearted than the inevitable pain and disappointment of living . 

Looking myself from a third person perspective i seem suicidal , pls help . 

 

You are questioning things. Maybe they seem meaningless at this point. But endure and keep questioning. Life aint that long. You will die either way. So why not see this ride out? And why hurry? 

It's almost like the times we do things without expectations, like deciding to go out with friends in the last moment. Those nights turn out to be the most fun. Why is that? it's because you had no expectations. You didn't go out expecting tings to happen. Now compare that to the nights you planned for and had expectations, those almost never turn out the way you want them to.

So why not live life that way? Just be here without any expectations. Take the good and the bad and see this thing out. You might be in for a surprise  

Ask your self, why does it feel meaningless? From what perspective does it seem meaningless? Is your perspective and perception a true measurement of the truth? Could it ever be? So what is meaning? From what values do you base your view on meaning? 

I have been where you are a long time ago, and back then i knew only this, that no matter how i feel or what happens, i'm gonna see this thing out and understand.

Also, you are not suicidal! You are just confused about life, it's completely normal. Intelligent people tend to think bigger. They try to understand things and analyse more than others. The problem is that you can only understand according to your own level of understanding. So when the answers you seek don't come immediately it causes confusion and depression. Just know that it will make sense later. 

So be curious and courageous!  Observe, and as you grow in awareness, things will make more sense. Its gonna be ok!

Edited June 26, 2018 by furashido

[Nahm]

@Nagma You can’t both realize meaninglessness and be bummed. That doesn’t even make sense. It is you which is adding the gloom & doom. Take some responsibility for your outlook. It’s conditioning you can let go of. Read what you wrote above....meditation works but you’re blaming the world and that keeps you from being disciplined with your practice. Meditate everyday, twice, cause fuck that victim mentality. Meditation is the way to freedom from thoughts. Slows everything down so you can live your life, for you. Stop thinking about what other people think.