I can't clear my conscience

[thehero]

Hey, don't worry, you are bothering nobody, thanks for posting. 

I would focus on yourself and start the process of letting go of that family. It truly isn't your fault, you did what was right and you didn't intentionally cause any of the aftermath. 
That's completely asshole of your ex to call your out for that, as it wasn't your fault. But he's still learning and growing, and is on his own path. 

I like Nahm's advice of starting to take your own life back into control. It won't do you any good to dwell on the past. But if there is some trauma associated with that, it would be helpful to release that 

[Sahil Pandit]

@zoey101 It's okay its not your fault 

[Gabriel Antonio]

On 06/05/2018 at 9:06 AM, Artimus said:

"c'mon, it's not like you haven't done it yet! What? Do you not think I'll be as good as my brother?"

omg what an asshole

stay away from this guy. if he keeps contacting you, tell him you are gonna call the police.

Someone MUCH better will come to your life. LEt that guy go.

I highly recommend you find someone trustworthy to talk in-person about this topic.

 

16 hours ago, Artimus said:

I'm sorry for complaining...

You are NOT complaining. But talking about a very serious issue that you went through.

 

 

 

@ajasatya any thoughts to share?

Edited May 8, 2018 by Gabriel Antonio

[Artimus]

Thank you guys. I told him that I don't want him to call me anymore and blocked his number. I talked to my mom about it, and she said that if I want to go to therapy I can, so we are looking for someone.... I know I need to stop worrying about him and his family.. I would never do anything to hurt them... It was his brother and he should be mad at him.. not me... 

I just wish things could be different..

[Karin12414]

Hey Artimus,

I just read your post... Please believe me when I say, I know how you feel right now... I believed I was the cause of everything going wrong around me. That if it wasn't for me maybe everything would be normal and okay, but that isn't what is happening. You didn't ask for this, you said so yourself. This was all caused by the actions of someone selfish and no one else. 

In my personal situation, after I stood up for myself only about a week ago, I took some time away from everything. Just a few days to be alone and thought about everything that has happened, and everything that everyone here has told me. I came to the conclusion that I can't control what others decide to do. No matter how selfish it is, they will do what they want. Nathan will be angry at you, and you can't change that. But you can decide how it will effect you in the now. I choose to not let it be who I am. I am not just a victim. I am more than that, so much more! And you are too!

I think the time I spent alone was probably the most important part of my discovery. You should really try it. Just a day or more can do wonders, I think. 

Just be selfish for a while and think about you. No one else matters right now. If you need someone to talk to, you can always message me. We can get strong together.  

Good Luck! 

[zoey101]

Wow @Karin12414 :') that's beautiful!

[Artimus]

@Karin12414 Thank you. I read your posts and I admire just how far you have come and how strong you are able to be despite that time... I would love to talk and get stronger. Thank you so much for sharing your experience.

[ajasatya]

13 hours ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

@ajasatya any thoughts to share?

hm, the girl is doing great!

keep it up, @Artimus. you haven't done anything wrong.

[zoey101]

@ajasatya  yeah she is.

[Spiral]

@Artimus I would distance myself as much as possible from your ex and anything that reminds you of what happened in order to, move on as much as possible as quickly as possible. While not become completely numb, that's a miserable existence.   

Running is a great temporary solution,  just run as fast as you can, exhausting yourself. It clears the mind so you can deal with your own mind when it's especially bad.  I have found this to be a uphill battle, it's important not to lose hope and be ready to face it head on.

[Artimus]

Thank you guys.

I'm just trying to stay away from everything for a little bit.. I need time to breath and get my thoughts straight.

[Buddha Jackson]

@Artimus  What has happened in the past has already happened, just like in the lion king "You gotta leave your past behind you". It would be best if you could take a break from the toxic relationship with your ex. Maybe try attending a meditation retreat somewhere close by with a good community!