Depression after falling back to sleep (post awakening)

[99alvarosanchez]

Ey guys (first, sorry for my english, i'm from Spain), just wanna start a new topic to help people like me on guidance for this situation: I recently had a huge spiritual awakening (6-7 months ago). From my point of view, a person who has no idea about personal development and has never known nothing about spiritually or truth, it feel like I rested in the ''awakened state'' for two or three weeks. During that time I feel like i knew what my path in life was going to be, i feel like everyone around me was completely  asleep and cried for days seeing how my loved ones were not going to have the dream life I was going to have. I feel my soul when i looked my self in the mirror and cried because I was perfect, life was perfect, and I could see perfectly how people around me were just wasting this beutiful present of ''god''. During this time I found Leo's channel, so I thought my life was going to be great.Now, 6 months later, and after passing a hard identity crisis, I had a super huge ego backlash, anxiety in my chest, feel like I waste the opportunity of  living a meaningful life, feel like I'm deeply back asleep, don't know what to do and I think I have some depression going on. During the first months nobody understood me and feel very very alone, insecurities started to kick in and i feel like I sold my soul to feel better during that time. Please tell me what do you think about this.

Edited April 25, 2018 by 99alvarosanchez
Errors

[Jamie Universe]

not %100 percent sure how ego-backlashes work, but with meditation ego-backlashes are typically temporary.

but otherwise

9 hours ago, 99alvarosanchez said:

feel like I waste the opportunity of  living a meaningful life

if you in your mind truly believe this true, try contemplating if its actually true, or rather what 'meaning' is. Changing the belief might change your daily emotional life.

[99alvarosanchez]

good answer, never thought about that possibility. Thanks¡

[Nahm]

Meditation, yoga, breath work, psych’s, etc. 

[Truth]

Journal your face off and question yourself like you're a psychiatrist until you start to feel better.  60% of the time it works... EVERYTIME.  

[MarkusSweden]

@99alvarosanchez Remember, you are not allowed to shine with  a perfect soul in society. Love has no place and wisdom is thrown in jail, methaphorically speaking. Society smached that Beautiful feeling of yours in a subtle way. You stand out when you find truth, and Thus you don't fit in to society anymore. As a result both you(sub consciously) and society start to motivate you to do reverse consciousness work, to lower your awareness back to "normal" again.

Sub consciously you are encurraged by your surrounding to become mediocre again in order to have things back to "normality" again. 

[99alvarosanchez]

@MarkusSweden  You cannot explain that more accuratelly. While I was reading it I feel like that was exactly what I experienced. Now I feel like I don`t recognise myself in the mirror, horrible feeling. Have you passed through this? And the path now is trying to find Truth again? I repeat that I started to having interest in this themes because of the experience I had, so I have no idea about almost anything about this stuff.

Edited May 1, 2018 by 99alvarosanchez