Everyday

165 Days Before College

58 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

                                                                   

                                                                                               May 22th, Tuesday 

 

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily3 /5

✔️no fap ( low or moderate urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

? i don't remember ?   overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

❌no lp course 

✔️reading https://www.amazon.com/Requiem-Dream-Novel-Hubert-Selby/dp/1560252480

✔️10+/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

✔️ 5/30m mind powers

✔️10/30 meditation

1?/10 concentration

✔️studying  -see below

 ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 1/2am

✔️ ✔️ ✔️Eating healthy

 

 

  • (to eat vegetables,smoothies,legumes,omega 3 pill , fruits, unprocessed meat, nuts, eggs,salads,fried broccoli&cauliflower,not too much milk,coconut milk,soup,spices(pink salt,oregano,curry),to minimize unhealthy food consumption)
  • (no sweets, no unhealthy snacks, bread, sausages
  • , processed meat, cakes,ketchup, pizza,ice cream,soda,cheese)
  •   30 days of NO TV SERIES/MOVIES;   urges
  • How many times did  i check out this forum?
  • was i obsessed over the views/popularity of this thread?
  • how much anxiety/resistance i felt to write about these topics? /5
  • have i worried what people will think after reading this post?  /5
  •  
  • On 5/21/2018 at 9:42 PM, sarapr said:
    • @Everyday i go to the library and stay there the whole day and study for 10 hours a day . the library really helps with the resistance but even then when I have resistance I usually pick a book I really enjoy and after reading that I find myself wanting to study more and more like a positive feedback loop. I study in two hour sessions with fifteen minute breaks and one thirty-minute break in the middle of the day usually at 6 pm . it's only painful the first day, right after that, on the second day , it would all feel normal . 
    • At this point all I do for the next month is recap. I've covered all the subjects so now the recap is a daily basis.
    • If you have any more questions let me know.
    • Besides all that, one thing I've noticed about studying for 10 - 12 hours a day is that time is much shorter than you think. I used to think only if I studied for that long, I would be able to finish everything in one day but now I can see even 10 hours of study a day won't be enough , there's so much more to do but you won't know that until you actually study that long .
    •   
  •                                                 STUDY PLAN
    • 3h total.
    • i started with 2h math, although i  took baby breaks 1-2m and struggled o keep consistency. i felt somehow stress that i was studying with a timer.
    • after i eat i felt unmotivated so i fallowed sara`s  advice and read for a few minutes . i read Requiem for a dream. it worked! after 10m a i felt motivated af
    • 1h mathematics 
    • no chemistry though
    • now another 20m mathematics.
    • owowowowowo
    • also, i alternated difficult exercises with easy ones and my resistance lowered significantly 
    • i feel very angry and irritated by everything. i am tired.

 

2 days till math/chemistry exams (may 24th)

Edited by Everyday

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 3/5

✔️no fap ( low urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

❌  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

❌no lp course 

✔️reading 

✔️20/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

✔️ /30m mind powers

✔️13/30 meditation

✔️/10 concentration

✔️studying - 7h( 2h than 2h sleep than 1h than 1h than 1h)

 ✔️❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00)

✔️ ❌ ✔️Eating healthywho cares?

 

who cares?

(to eat vegetables,smoothies,legumes,omega 3 pill , fruits, unprocessed meat, nuts, eggs,salads,fried broccoli&cawho cares?uliflower,not too much milk,coconwho cares?ut milk,soup,spices(pink salt,oregano,who cares?curry),to minimize unhealthy food consumption)

(no sweets, no unhealthy snacks, breawho cares?d, sausages
, processed meat, cakes,ketchup, pizza,ice cream,soda,cheese)

  30 days of NO TV SERIES/MOVIEwho cares?S;  high  urges

How many times did  i check out who cares?this forum? who cares?

was i obsessed over the views/popularity of this thread?who cares?

how mwho cares?uch anxiety/resistance i felt to write about these topics? /who cares?5

have i worried what people will think after reading this post?who cares?  /5

fuck this shit and fuck chemistry. i ate unhealthy today and i got diarrhea like symptoms but who cares because i had to study so i crammed for  another 2h anyways. and on top of that i just realized that i was too kind  and permissive with myself in the last year. `` should i force myself to study more ? nahhhhh i will next week. `` nope.  now i have to recap months of exercises&subjects in a few h 

1 days till math/chemistry exams (may 24th)

 

Edited by Everyday

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

0 days till math/chemistry exams (may 24th)

 

i am worried and anxious aff. i have been  listening to this on repeat for over 2 hours -it relaxes me deeply but in the same time keeps me in this productive and stressful state. i got some more shit done .

 

Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart fYour heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.eels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.

Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heYour heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over. heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over. heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.art feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.Your heart feels over and over.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lol i passed the math exam. i had to use my intuition heavily since some of the questions WHERE NOT EVEN IN THE CURRICULUM. fuck you all the goats from Antarctica. i literally had a problem with how much milk a 45kg teenage goat can give( btw it was way more complicated than this) .  lol 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i passed at math  with 60 /100. the limit was 5.5 lol . i need to take life more seriously. i have never been so stressed and worried. i guess this it how it feels to really care about smth. hmmm intersting 

5afdc67ac088c_OperaSnapshot_2018-05-17_211403_www.google_ro.png.3a8ad491b6d64b0cb39e53cae50ddeb2.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your heart feels my ass over and over.

fuck yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i passed the chemistry exam too. lol .

            i thought i will fail. i barely feel relieved. i still feel tense and worried. what if i wont find accommodation>? what if my English skills are not good enough? will i even pass the first year?

 

;)

during these exams i thought of shaving my beard but keeping the mustache. lol i will do this. this makes no sense.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

i am back ! adadwawawaw.png

 

 

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 1/5
✔️no fap (  low urges)
✔️spending time outside
✔️daily journaling 
✔️  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)
❌reading 
✔️a lot /10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower
❌ /30m mind powers
❌/30 meditation
❌/10 concentration 
✔️ ✔️ ❌Eating healthy 
○ 


○ 

  •  
  •  so i felt very resistant to trim my beard to 0.1 and to keep the mustache. ``will my family make fun of me?``. They said that i look like a Mexican lol. I think i look funny. and on top of that the main goal of this mustache is to get out of my comfort zone. Everything will be fine and my comfort zone will expand which is all i want + i will have fun just by reminding myself that i have a funny mustache lol 
  •  
  •   i watched a few  episodes and movies. they barely entertained me . now that i allow myself to watch them , watching them is no more entertaining.  a few hours ago i chose to take a shower sooner than to watch another episode. yesterday i thought of watching movies till 5am but i chose to sleep instead -it is not as appealing as it used to be. it annoying and amazing in the same time .
  •  

 

  • i spent a few hours just talking care of my seedlings . i just felt happy .anyways, i will take a break from studying and doing smth productive although i feel like wasting time . i have to take this break. my-future-fall-2018-self ill thank me. i guess i will do what at least i know that i enjoy : walking,taking care of plants,spending time outside, reading and cooking. i need to know myself better.  this break will last anywhere from 2 weeks to 1 month i guess i will fill like being productive?  However i will keep doing shamanic breathing, meditating,mind powers and concentration practice 
  •  
Edited by Everyday

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i am back ! adadwawawaw.png

 

 

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 1/5
✔️no fap (  low urges)
✔️spending time outside
✔️daily journaling 
✔️  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)
❌reading 
✔️a lot /10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower
✔️ /30m mind powers
✔️/30 meditation
✔️/10 concentration 
✔️ ✔️ ❌Eating healthy 
○ 


○ 

  •  
  •  so i felt very resistant to trim my beard to 0.1 and to keep the mustache. ``will my family make fun of me?``. They said that i look like a Mexican lol. I think i look funny. and on top of that the main goal of this mustache is to get out of my comfort zone. Everything will be fine and my comfort zone will expand which is all i want + i will have fun just by reminding myself that i have a funny mustache lol 
  •  
  •   i watched a few  episodes and movies. they barely entertained me . now that i allow myself to watch them , watching them is no more entertaining.  a few hours ago i chose to take a shower sooner than to watch another episode. yesterday i thought of watching movies till 5am but i chose to sleep instead -it is not as appealing as it used to be. it annoying and amazing in the same time .
  •  

 

  • i spent a few hours just talking care of my seedlings . i just felt happy .anyways, i will take a break from studying and doing smth productive although i feel like wasting time . i have to take this break. my-future-fall-2018-self ill thank me. i guess i will do what at least i know that i enjoy : walking,taking care of plants,spending time outside, reading and cooking. i need to know myself better.  this break will last anywhere from 2 weeks to 1 month i guess i will fill like being productive?  However i will keep doing shamanic breathing, meditating,mind powers and concentration practice 
  •  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

                                                   

                             GARDENING LESSONS

 

 I have been nurturing Phalaris arundinacea for almost a year (even in winter in my house in pots and plastic glasses) with no success . it just doesn't flower .

561656565.jpg59119915915115919151991615g.pnggfh.jpg        that`s how it was supposed to look like flowering :Phalaris_arundinacea_1.jpg

 

 

fennel seedling : 198888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888885 fuck yaah snt ge.mp4

hff.jpg

 

 all of them : 

41961166.jpg

 i am not allowed to put too many pics in one post alone (4.88MB max) so i will make a second one

Edited by Everyday

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

   you have to cut the seedlings that develop slower than the others from each cell . sue only the strongest ones. and again do not sow as many  as i did and keep a safe distance between them.

 have faith in them that they will grow eventually.InkedIMG_2014565156651651LI.jpg

 

 

 

   parsley  seedlings   ghff.jpg

 

 

 

*NOTE THAT THESE PICS ARE OVER A  WEEK OLD. I WILL UPLOAD CURRENT ONES TOMORROW.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

                                    May 26th, Saturday 

 

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 2/5

✔️no fap ( NO urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

❌ overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

✔️reading

❌/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

❌ /30m mind powers

❌/30 meditation

❌/10 concentration

 ✔️❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00)

❌ ✔️❌Eating healthy

 

  • i felt pretty bored today. i watched some movies and episodes of a tv show but it just bored me even more. watching them is just not as fun as it used to be. Anyways i made a smoothie and read outside. i plan to this more as well as going out on a daily basis (eg museums,parks,coffee shops, cooking etc)
  •  
  • smoothie ingredients: 80% strawberries, 10% cherries , one orange , 2 spoons hemp seeds, 2 spoons Ashwaganda powder and 2 fat spoons of honey 
  • dwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.jpgawddddddddddddddddddddddddd.jpg

 

   parsley seedlings . i should have put more soil. 

fgggggggggggggggggggghh (1).jpg

this  morning glory just grew up here randomly near the fence. maybe i put a seed in some of the posts and old soil that my father trowed away a few week ago. wow.

hggggggggggg.jpg

Inkedfggggggggggggghh (2)_LI.jpg

 this one lol. i added soil over the initial one and this little guy grew in the dark. hahah

InkedI5615516651108_LI.jpg

 

 they look like this because i forgot them in full sunlight again after i watered them deeply. they boiled.

t1)_LI.jpg

 they look like this because i forgot them in full sunlight again after i watered them deeply. they boiled.

sdffsdfssdgfsdg.jpg

 

Edited by Everyday

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

                             May 27th, Sunday 

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 3.5/5

✔️no fap ( no or low  urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

❌  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

✔️reading

❌/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

❌/30m mind powers

❌/30 meditation

❌/10 concentration

 ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 4am

✔️ ❌ ✔️Eating healthy

 

 

  • i feel ashamed of my mustache
    • but i realized that no one really cares which is cool. this shame it`s just in my head. one the the other side  i do feel that i am pushing my comfort zone daily with this little guy on my face which is good. i am worried that people will think that i am some 20-year-old weirdo or that i look peculiar.
    • anyways as i said it is a simple way to push my comfort one and it looks funny and i forget about it sometimes 

 

  • i passed those exams but i don't feel happy af.
    • i thought that i will. i feel normal and even worried for my future there .  isn't this funny? i basically fulfilled one of my biggest dreams (to move abroad ,in West Europe  -this is a big thing here,in E Europe ; This place is rife with corruption, unjustice injustice,poverty and carrer career limitations etc).

 

  • i went with my family to a restaurant and i paid for everything  -this made them happy.
    • this was a way to thank them for all the help and emotional&financial support they have offered me over the course of this year. they are kind people -to tell you the truth i wouldn't have done so many sacrifices for myself if i was in their shoes or for my child as they did. i simply cannot grasp how can you be so kind with some creatures who drain your money,life and energy and they end up banishing you from their life. they could have used those money to make themselves happy -at least i would have done so.   
    • i don't feel close to any of the members of my family . i remember once when i was younger that i figure out that if i am nice with them and pretend that i care fr them  they will give me what i need to become independent . i don't even know how i have come to be this way. i think   i cared and loved all of my family when i was very young. now i am always looking to realize my dreams and goals no matter what even if this means to hurt my siblings or my parents. i pretend to care for them just because i know that i might need them one day.
    • i cannot grasp how other people are so close to their families and would sacrifice for them -i know i wouldn't. how does loving your family feels like anyways? how love feels like? like a crush?  hmmmmmm
    • i am selfish to the bone. i paid for the restaurant today only because i know that this is a good investment and they/ll give me 10 times more money in the years to come comparing with what i paid today. i will work out this selfishness gradually. maybe i am curing it by meditating,shamanic breathing, and doing other consciousness work. maybe i need to be selfish at some level in order to grow.

 

  • whilst i was reading in my fav park today by the lake
    • random thoughts pooped up. thoughts regarding expected happiness,college, about the passing of time, being young, expectations vs reality, living in the present, looking back to ``the good times/best times or years of your life``, what meters etc.
    •  I/ll look back to these years, to my early 20s with nostalgia 20 years from now. but now i don't feel the magic of being young nor how important is that i got into personal development at such a young age. 
    • i wonder sometimes how me my life would be like if i wasn't into self actualization. i suppose i will still have shity friends, i would be drinking, i would eat  totally unhealthy, i would have no idea how much i can improve, i would be doing shit but i will have no awareness about it, i will have quit trying to learn English at all, i would have chosen a random-good-sounding-degree instead of fallowing my passion. owo wow
    • harry and marion where taking about their lofty dreams of traveling the world and opening up several coffee shops one day. i thought; lol they are filthy drug addicts -they wont make it.  than is stuck me: i am like them. i have lofty dreams but i do not take MASSIVE action towards making them REAL. i need a solid plan a-z style with baby and ant and toddler and mini gaols and larger ones.
    • can you believe that 10 yrs from now, the year i was 19 will seem cool and nostalgic and i will speak about it like ``those good times``???
    • i asked myself a few times how do i imagine bing a college student is like. i will quote this after some time in college. it will be so satisfying to see the differences between my expectations and reality.
      • lol. here i go:
      • i think that i will be fun petty much all the time
      • I/ll be productive 24/7
      • it will be somehow easier to work on my goals just because i am college
      • I/ll push myself daily
      • I/ll magically change my habits and personality traits
      • I/ll get along with people
      • it will be 10 times easier to approach a girl just because i will be a college student 
      • I/ll have high grades
      • I/ll feel free
      • I/ll feel excited to cook for myself 
      • I/ll be making progress easily 
      • I/ll have lots of time to do self actualization (shamanic,yoga,meditation,etc)
      • I/ll deal with procrastination better than i do now/ i wont procrastinate at all
      • I/ll  feel motivated and  good daily
      • I wont feel bored
      • I/ll  eat very healthy
      • i wont be affected by peer pressure
      • i wont care what people think of me at the point of not making myself happy like i did in high school 
      • i wont stay at home all day 
      • I/ll  study a few hours per day at a library/coffee shop
      • i wont feel anxious in pubs
      • i wont feel not cool enough because i do not go out in shmancy fancy places 
      • i wont feel ashamed that i don't have instagram/snapchat or that i barely use facebook and that i dont even have a profile pic
      • i wont feel ashamed for feeling bored of re-installing snapchat or  that i am thinking that  instagram is overrated and plain boring
      • i wont feel ashamed that i don't get constant message and app notifications on my phone
      • i wont feel quitting
      • I/ll feel motivated to get a job 
      • I/ll finish my assignments before due time and i will never fail an exam
      • I/ll be happy 
      •  i wont be affected by my past
      •  i wont want to show off my achievements  in front of high school colleagues 
      • I/ll keep mediating
      • watching tv series as a  form of escapement will be non-existent 
      • I/ll get my driver license in between first and second year of uni

 

 i need to shave the hairs between my nose and my mustache

 

i felt the same. that i am not good enough or that having a beard is not who i am. for him as for myself  having a beard, long or even short  is about proving myself that i can become the person i want to be.

also i learned to experiment more with my haircut and beard. (i kinda started doing this--which is a stretch from my comfort zone)

Edited by Everyday

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

So like ok I will write in here posts for all of a week and than I will post them online. Why? Because I spend to much time writing them each night.  Ha

 

June 3rd, Sunday 2018 

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 3/5

✔️no fap ( high af urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

❌  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

✔️reading 

✔️11/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

✔️❌ /30m mind powers

✔️less than/ -6/30 meditation

❌/10 concentration

 ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 4am 5am+

✔️ ❌ ❌Eating healthy

❌shamanic breathing 

  • i went to an event alone. i resisted a few day at first.it was interesting 10/10. sure i will do it again
  •  
  • 195555555555555555555pg.jpg

 

 

 

    June 2nd , Saturday 2018  6

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 4.6/5

✔️no fap ( high af  and very twisted urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

✔️ overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

❌reading 

✔️11+/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

❌/30m mind powers

❌/30 meditation

❌/10 concentration

 ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 4am

✔️ ❌ ❌Eating healthy

  • although i stated that tv series and movies are not as entertaining as they sued to be -some of them are really really good, so i kept watching them 
  • the accommodation staff from my college  is really really nice. they helped me a lot to clear my confusion and to realize that i should take it easy -i will find accommodation anyways
    • i think that their site has a bug because i can see the accommodation forms they sent by clicking on ``apply`` links lol 
    • my fellow colleagues have between 17 and 26, some of them are from Vietnam,Canada,Japan,Germany,NL and Brazil so far
    • there are two 17 year olds and they asked specifically to not have  a woman allocated to their room lol
    • some girl asked to have one male roommate and 1 female roommate lol . she seems really serious about it 
  •  
  • IMG_20180603_192931.jpgIMG_20180603_192938.jpg

 

 

 

June -what already? , Friday 2018    5

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 3.5/5

✔️no fap ( high urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

❌  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

❌reading 

✔️21/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

❌ mind powers

❌ meditation

❌ concentration

 ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 4am

✔️ ❌ ❌Eating healthy

  • So I swiped through the accommodation site offered by my college
  • I find the perfect studio. And even less than I would pay in a student house.
  • I send an application mail and the owner said that it has been already rented out.
  • Now I suspect that he lied to me. What if she doesn't like my nationality? What if I wont ever find another one?
  • Bullshit!!111111!!!! I will!! I do not know what was his motive. Maybe it was the truth. It a rejection it`s normal. Even people from west Europe face difficulty in finding a place to stay/a room or an apartment. It`s not about me. It`s normal.  Even west Europeans are rejected from some places. It`s not personal !
  • Anyhow, I applied for a room at a student house. Maybe it`s better this way
  • I will go to an event alone
  •  
  • this it what happens when you overeater them. their roots rot. 
  • IMG_20180603_192811.jpg
  •  
  • Harvard University 2015 Class Day | Harvard University Commencement 2015
  • -these graduation taped ceremonies makes me think how fast time goes and that in no time i will be there

 

 

 

 

 2018 May 31th. Thursday         4

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 3.6/5

✔️no fap ( no urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

✔️  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

❌reading 

✔️11/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

❌ /30m mind powers

❌/30 meditation

❌/10 concentration

 ✔️❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 4am

✔️ ❌ ✔️Eating healthy

 

  • I helped my neighbor to recondition his house together with his construction workers.
    • It was quite demanding. I started at 9:15 and I finished at 22.00.
    • I understood why they drink so much. Their work is very hard.
    • It seems comic that they are viewed as  inferior in society although they make all the effort to build houses and buildings whereas ``intellectuals`` are just jerking around doing nothing.
    • I understood how lucky I am to have a supportive family and that I got into  self actualization
    • A bunch of mosquitoes bit me. An unidentified naughty bug bit me yesterday on the wrist of my right hand/sapping hand and now it swollen af -it looks like a fake hand or a poser hand or like it`s gonna explode with pus lol
    • One of the workers told me to stay in school unless I want to end up like them lol
  • .
  • Yesterday I planted two my morning glory seedlings. I got emotional that I was unorganized and I got agitated during the planting process. I stepped on them because I put them on the ground beside the holes I was digging. Lol. PLS DO NOT PUT YOUR SEEDLINGS ON THE GROUND after you took them out of their pots.   Anyhow, they are good and nice.
  • ddttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttaaaaaaa.jpg
  •  
  • Sarapr is right. I should focus on materialistic aspects of life/of the pyramid and than to move on more deeper topics.
    • I will let kriya etc and enlightenment/ psychedelics /enlightment- spirituality books  stuff for later. 
    • Maybe I ll do kriya from sophomore year or maybe end of freshmen year. I dont know yet.
    • I cannot jump from the stage am AT to god level. I cannot go from stage red(in some places of my life to stage turquoise  by ignoring my problems challenges
    • 30m of meditation will be the same but I will upgrade to mindfulness to at least make some progress yo
      • I will focus on:
        • Physical exercise
        • Traveling/gathering life experience 
        • Letting go of high school/the past/grudges
        • Finding lp 100% certainty
        • Social life etc/socializing
        • Winning at college
        • Accommodating in a new city/at college
        • English language skills/Dutch skills
        • Experimenting around
        • Nutrition/cooking
        • Style/clothing/self esteem.
        • Fix my dating life/sex/pickup
        • Dealing with old emotional wounds, self esteem  issues etc/ building confidence
        • Building a stable and strong ego
  •  
  •             I am anxious that I wont get a place at the accommodation provided by my college. Also, I am apprehensive about how I will deal with other students and whether my English is not enough to get into class and socialize  at all
  •  
  •          I looked at myself in the mirror from my neighbor bathroom and I was like: I like my handsome mustache. It looks good. It makes me look funny. And I am a funny person. You can tell I will tell a joke before I tell it. I think I will keep it for a few weeks, maybe all summer. And yes is still feel ashamed of it but not like I used to. Hey! A comfort zone challenge is a comfort zone challenge
  •  
  • Why are people so serious about their marriages and  romantic relationships? They seem just jokes .
  •  
  • I feel scarcity about this summer and what I have time to accomplish.
    •  I should take it easy*
    • I will keep these baby vacation of mine (2 weeks to 1month)
    • I will keep cooking, walking, reading,
    • I want to start pickup
    • I will learn the alphabet/basic notions in duck lol I wanted to write Dutch
    • Revise english grammar
    • In august I want to plan and read about what to do and don’t do in my freshmen year and other college knx. I have gathered a lot of links, screen shots etc.
  • IMG-20180603-WA0002.jpg

 

 

 

 2018, May 30th, Wednesday        3

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 2/5

✔️no fap  ( medium  urges )

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

?  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

✔️reading 

✔️11/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

 ❌/30m mind powers

✔️ 5/30 meditation

❌/10 concentration

 ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 4am

✔️ ❌ ❌Eating healthy

  •  I started to love my mustache. I find it cool, now that my beard grow a little. Maybe I will keep it. Maybe I will grow it longer .lol. I feel better about it. It complements my style. Off course I am still insecure with it but I push myself just by having it lol.
  •  
  • I planted the morning glories. I was nervous. I had no idea almost what was I doing. I added to much water. I stepped on them bc I put them on the grown before planting.
  • 485558885588585 (2).jpg485558885588585 (1).jpg
  •  
  • I watched in darkness 2018. I couldn’t bear to be blind. Being at the mercy of strangers….. That scene where she/blind woman get assaulted by some street boys/street rats… geeee, scary af.… being helpless is one of my biggest fears
  •  
  • . I decided to learn basic Dutch during freshmen year although I said I will start from the sophomore year. Why mot? If it will be once a week I will still make progress.
  •  
  •  I was admiring the hot girls form some kind a vegan store, who where into clean eating and  I was thinking that I have no chance with them . Bullshit!!!!! I am quite a chetck catch. I am well build, funny, smart,, Interesting, NOT OVERWEIGHT, not into rat race, I have a passion. I work  with my hands/man work.
  •  
  • I bought black maca, spirulina and cocoa POWDER 
    • smoothie: 99% cherries and cherries, cocoa powder lemon juice leftovers and honey IMG_20180601_230304.jpg
    •  
    •  
    • smoothie: 99% cherries and cherries, lemon juice leftovers, a lot of honey ++++ cocoa powder,black maca, spirulina. 
      • BLACK MACA  is the worst think i have ever tasted or drank. that smell........ just no 
    • 41899999999999999999999999_231454_LI.jpg
    • look at that! two distinct colors! this is the next level shit smoothie
    • IMG_20180601_231338.jpg
  •  

 

 

 

29/5/2018    2

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily3/5

✔️no fap ( no urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

✔️❌  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

✔️reading 

❌/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

❌ /30m mind powers

❌/30 meditation

❌/10 concentration

✔️go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 1am

✔️ ? ? Eating healthy

  •  do a 10day fast/2 day water fast. Read more about plant care. Stay outside like a maniac.
  • Take meditation seriously. 30m daily. No excuses
  • This it`s inspired from
  • After reading quanti`s post I decided to really start kryia yoga, opening  my chakras
  • 125 days left till college
  • this is how the land i will plant them looks like :
  • Inddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.jpgddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddg.jpg

 

 

 

28-5-2018   1

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 2.5/5

✔️no fap (  no urges)

❌spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

✔️  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

❌reading 

❌/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

❌ /30m mind powers

❌/10 concentration

 ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 4am+

✔️ ❌❌ Eating healthy

            ❌shamanic breathing 

 

Edited by Everyday

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

ACCOMMODATION PROCEDURE FOR COLLEGE (ADVICE)

 

  • This is what i learned so far. if you are in my position right now you`ll find this useful 
  • first of all, calm down. it wont be as difficult as you might think
  • apply for accommodation as soon as possible because most universities function on the basis of  first-come, first-served
  • also, some unis cant guarantee rooms for everyone! so hurry up
  • after you get accepted to your first option college you will receive a link to the accommodation site (basically a list with the various options,types of rooms, prices, location
  • check the distance between your place to the uni using Google maps albeit they state the time on the site. the time between  these locations it`s usually longer than they state it on the site
  • if you can choose your room in a student house please check on Google maps where your room it`s situated (facing the nosy street or not)
  • in your application form ADD AT THE DETAILS SECTION a POSITIVE assessment of yourself to ensure that you will receive the studio/apartment/room by differentiating thyself from the other applicants (who don't write anything at all to advertise themselves). eg: non-smoker,friendly,clean&organized individual, i`ll pay in advance
  • read these articles

 

Capture.PNGdddddddddd.PNG

Edited by Everyday

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

 

June 7th, Thursday 2018

20 January 1993

7 June 2018,  Thursday

Donderdag, zeven juni 2018

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 2/5

✔️no fap ( high urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

❌overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

❌reading 

✔️16+/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower. It`s getting easier and easier.

✔️5 /30m mind powers

✔️4/30 meditation

✔️1/10 concentration

 ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 3AM++

✔️ ✔️✔️Eating healthy

I put another morning glory into the ground. I feel good about this. I poured just enough water not like the previous time

Lol I want to start swimming classes, to do smth with this summer. I feel like I am wasting time

 

I looked into one of the folders where i put resources on learning Dutch.

i found a really cool product which i have totally forgotten about it. in addition to the previous plan i will learn this too.

  • lessons : 
    •  learning a bunch of similar words(all colors,fruits) at once doesn't work well
    • also learning a bunch of unrelated words doesn't work either (pig-Buddha-toothpaste-swiss cheese)
    • what works bes is learning seemingly unrelated words withing a a story (waiter- back-pain-floor-Friday-to stand)
  • .cow.PNG
  •  

 

 

June 6th, Wednesday 2018

 woensdag, zes  juni 2018

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 1/5

✔️no fap ( high high high high urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

✔️  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

✔️reading 

❌/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

❌ /30m mind powers

❌/30 meditation

❌/10 concentration

 ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 7am!!!!!!!!

✔️ ✔️ ❌Eating healthy

I am getting tired and sick and bored of watching those shows daily albeit I know that it`s not as entertaining as I would like it to be.

I save up  thread after thread daily thinking that one day I will read hem thoroughly. I will stop roaming around on this forum and use the search engine when I will actually need smth eg(nutrition, relationships) instead of saving up everything

I got angry today that I feel so much resistance to take care of my plants.

I started learning Dutch since any language is fun to dabble into it. I will use anki, my old trust-able friend

My one month plan (basically to learn as much words as I can, than to start with the grammar rules)

IMG-20180603-WA0016.jpg

IMG_20180604_095211.jpg

Inked699999999999999999_LI.jpg

 

 

 

 

June 5th, Tuesday 2018

Juni vijf, dinsdag 2018

Dinsdag, Vijf   Juni  2018

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 2.3/5

✔️no fap ( no urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

❌  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

❌reading 

❌/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

❌ /30m mind powers

❌/30 meditation

❌/10 concentration

 ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 4am/5am

✔️ ❌ ✔️Eating healthy

I sent all the papers needed for accommodation. I made a  mistake. I found out how to convert pics into pdf-actually it’s a site.

Pics garden

5b0996914f8f5_fgggggggggggggggggggghh(1).jpg.b9da1b23ad22ba86cb85561e0844d48d.jpgIMG-20180603-WA0017.jpg

(above&below) i felt resistance to water them for a few days. i need to work on this. regular and proper watering -no excuses

IMG_20180604_095227.jpgIMG_20180604_095224.jpg

 

 

 

June 4th, Monday 2018

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 2.9/5

✔️no fap ( medium-rare urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

❌  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

✔️reading 

❌/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

❌ /30m mind powers

❌/30 meditation

❌/10 concentration

 ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 5am

✔️ ❌ ❌Eating healthy

  •                                          LESSON: apply for an internship  
  • Opera Snapshot_2018-06-08_122130_www.actualized.org.png

 

Edited by Everyday

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

8 June 2018, Thursday Friday 

vrijdag donderdagacht juni 2018

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 3/5

✔️no fap ( high urges) i was seconds away from fapping -i stopped just in time. i feel proud of myself 

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

❌  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

✔️❌reading 

✔️14/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

❌ /30m mind powers

❌/30 meditation

❌/10 concentration

 ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 3.30am

✔️ ❌ ❌Eating healthy

 

Edited by Everyday

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

 

13 June 2018, Wednesday 

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 3/5

✔️no fap (high double af urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

❌  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

✔️reading 

✔️15/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

 ❌ /30m mind powers

 ❌/30 meditation

 ❌/10 concentration

 ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 5.30am.....

✔️ ✔️ ❌Eating healthy

❌Anki (fluent forever Dutch  pronunciation + personal  deck)

 

plant update/ organic update 

IMG_20180613_180635.jpgIMG_20180613_180630.jpgIMG_20180613_180621.jpgIytl.jpgcrywank full album youtube .jpg

 

1896914596pg.jpg

5160g.jpg8496jpg.jpg

9888888888888888888888888888.jpg88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888887 9 .jpg

A year ago i made an experiment. i cut the bottom where i had a 1 month a  morning glory and put it into the ground.

 9888888888888888888888888888888888888888888niggag.jpg15g.jpgInkedIMG_20180613_180642_LI.jpgIMG_20180613_180622.jpg

 

below; organic farming method: smashed eggshells (anti-slugs/snails and releases Calcium gradually)

note: i put them after the slugs ate parts of those leaves

hop.jpgre-meme.jpg

a few days after i put it into the ground and a massive heat wave hit  -all leaves fell of but one(cannot be seen in the picture)

 

  

 

 

 

 12 June 2018, Tuesday

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily2/5

✔️no fap ( low urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

✔️❌  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

✔️❌reading 

✔️/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

❌ /30m mind powers

 ❌/30 meditation

 ❌/10 concentration

 ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 3am+++

✔️ ❌ ❌Eating healthy

✔️Anki (fluent forever Dutch  pronunciation + personal  deck)

  • I am working on a plan to implement all the advice I received on actualizedorgsifyum
  •    learning Dutch

  Schedule Learning Dutch

12 juni 2018

From actualized,org froum

  1. https://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2016/11/29/learn-languages/  \ Italki 

  2. Get a Dutch girlfriend 

  3. Befriend some natives at college and try to speak with them in Dutch

  4. Pimsleur Conversational  -though not the cd`s but the mp3`s

  5.  get yourself in a context in which you have no choice other than speaking the language you want to learn.

  6. ``for instance, i use this forum as a means to improve my English``

  7. use total immersion/Do everything in that language.

 

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

From other sources

 

 

 

 

 

11 June 2018, Monday maandag

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 2/5

✔️no fap ( high  urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

❌  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

❌reading 

✔️10/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

❌ /30m mind powers

 ❌/30 meditation

 ❌/10 concentration

 ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 4am++

✔️✔️?Eating healthy

✔️Anki (fluent forever Dutch pronunciation  deck + personal  deck)

 

 

 

 

 

  10 June 2018, Sunday

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 2/5

✔️no fap (high af af  urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

❌  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

❌reading 

✔️10/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

 ❌ /30m mind powers

 ❌/30 meditation

 ❌/10 concentration

 ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00)

✔️ ❌ ❌Eating healthy

❌Shamanic breathing

✔️Anki (fluent forever Dutch pronunciation  deck + personal  deck)

  • Day 30 of 30 days of no-fap
  •  
  • I will maybe end this vacation now….. After 2 weeks and 4 days but ill take 1-2 days of next months?!
  • Dutch anki fl forver------------ after today`s session I feel much better. I just made some progress lol .
  •  
  • Only 80 days left(i start uni in NL  at the end of august instead of latterly as i would in my country).  I feel anxious af,. What should I do?
    • Pickup?
    • English?
    • Dutch?
    • Gardening ????????
    • nothing at all?

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday , 9 June 2018 or Tuesday, January 1st

Zaterdag, negen juni 2018

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 3 /5

✔️no fap ( high af  urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

❌  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

❌reading 

✔️10/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

❌ /30m mind powers

❌/30 meditation

❌/10 concentration

 ❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 5am

✔️ ❌ ❌Eating healthy

✔️Anki (fluent forever Dutch pronunciation  deck + personal  deck)

  • I am getting pissed off about the proper watering schedule I try to figure out . I either delay it too much or I pour to much too frequently
  • I spent pretty much all day tieing   tying  my father`s grape veins. I got lost in the process. I am still seen as a sweet desert by thirsty mosquitoes
  • But in the end I felt ok abut my Dutch skills.
  • ✔️Note- record thyself when attempting to speak in  Dutch -it will be totally satisfying to listen to them 1 year from now.

 

 

 

Screenshot_20180611-042743.png     lol

Edited by Everyday

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

18 juni 2018, Monday /maandag

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 2/5

✔️no fap ( high urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

❌  overeat

✔️reading 

✔️30!!!!/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

❌ /30m mind powers

✔️/30 meditation

❌/10 concentration

✔️go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00)

✔️ ❌ ❌Eating healthy

✔️Anki (fluent forever Dutch pronunciation  deck + personal  deck)

 

 

 

17 juni 2018, Sunday/zondag? yes

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily ?/5

✔️no fap (high urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

❌  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

❌reading 

✔️20/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower -lol i just realized i wrote WORM not WARM lol 

❌30 /30m mind powers

✔️30/30 meditation

✔️10/10 concentration

✔️go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00)

✔️ ❌ ❌Eating healthy

✔️Anki (fluent forever Dutch pronunciation  deck + personal  deck)

  • Join us e4rd challenge/star`s challenge---- bla bla bla.
  • Abstained/refrained eating junk food.
  • Contemplated further the other night plans.
  • Considering even more to try a italki session in English etc.
  • Star net challenge-- sleep: 23.00-7.00. bla bla bla procrastination
  • I will wake up at 4 o`clock I am excited lol.---i woke up latterly btw

 

IMG_20180617_123345.jpg That`s a wasp/small flies bee trap. i used some last year.

great kill count btw                   

                          https://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Wasp-Trap

 

 

 

 

 

16 juni 2018, Saturday/zaterdag zondag

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 2/5

✔️no fap ( high urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

❌  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

✔️reading 

✔️21/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

❌ /30m mind powers

❌/30 meditation

❌/10 concentration

✔️go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 23.00 !!!!!!!!!!

✔️ ✔️ ❌Eating healthy

✔️Anki (fluent forever Dutch pronunciation  deck + personal  deck)

  • Had plenty of time to think. Difficulty falling asleep
  • I listen to the first Pimselur free Dutch lesson. It was fun af. I will; buy the course. ( btw i bought it )
  • I will buy the f forever in-development app. Their pronunciation thing is helping me really good.  ( btw i bought it , i am pleasantly impressed by their pronunciation  cards )
  • Should I boy the pronunciation product for English too? no

juhb njbnjG.PNGf s NG.PNGCapture.PN42142012111G.PNG

IMG_20180617_1239312.jpg

the 3rd leaf from the top was eaten by slugs/snails

 

 

 

15 June 2018, Friday

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily 3/5

✔️no fap ( high!!!!!  urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

✔️❌  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

✔️reading  ( yes! I woke up at 12:00am and I brewed a green tea and than went in my garden and read and drank it. It was a very very pleasant experience. Ill do it again tomorrow.

✔️10/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

❌ /30m mind powers

❌/30 meditation

❌/10 concentration

❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 3.30-4am

✔️ ?❌Eating healthy

✔️Anki (fluent forever Dutch pronunciation  deck + personal  deck)

 

  • n[ɱ]

                as in

                        "bronwater"[bʀɔɱʋa:təɹ]

  • I find the Dutch language exciting and interesting af.

 

  • I feel tremendous resistance to be productive.
  • I felt tribble urges to eat junk food lately. These urges kicked in stronger and stronger since I started doing shamanic breathing
  •  
  • Tomorrow I will start the 3rd challenge(set link). I am glad that this turned out to be the definitive challenge although I voted for the second one. I really need to fix my sleeping schedule.
  •  
  • . Some tourist stopped me today asking where he can find a taxi. I felt anxious af. I tried to talk with him in English but all he was saying was taxi taxi taxi. And I don’t know how to give directions in English also . Its strange that this made me feel anxious and relived afterwards -not every foreigner is fluent in English as I expected , yet they have the balls o travel and work in other countries. I realized that I take myself to seriously `` who? They to laugh at me??no no no!!!``. Lol 
  •  
  •  
  • Learning Spanish - Pimsleur, Italki, LingQ, and Memrise
    • Start pimsleur(its fun, easy, listen whilst commuting,---- schedule: 2- 3 times a week an hour long, he used it for several months.(it will take time to learn dutch lol)
    •  
    • Italki-very useful, you can teach you teachers Romanian
    • Lingq (use it later) -I can import lessons so I can use self help books/restaurant menus to learn
    • Use memrize to build your vocabulary. Build your own courses. 

 

 

 

14 June 2018, Thursday

✔️pushing my comfort zone daily ?/5

✔️no fap ( high urges)

✔️spending time outside

✔️daily journaling 

❌  overeat (my goal is to not overeat so✔️ means that i didn't overeat but if i did that mean that i overate so❌)

✔️reading 

✔️11/10+ seconds cold shower after worm shower

❌ /30m mind powers

❌/30 meditation

❌/10 concentration

❌go to sleep at a decent time (goal- 23.00\00.00) 5am again

✔️ ✔️ ❌Eating healthy

✔️Anki (fluent forever Dutch pronunciation  deck + personal  deck)

Edited by Everyday

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now