gev

Did I end it too soon?

6 posts in this topic

I often travel to Europe. 2.5 years ago I began online dating with a girl from Europe that evolved to private email 4 x week. We have also met and had the best time than I can remember. I was falling for her. She speaks English, a physician, bright personality sociable laughs easily. At the beginning I sent gifts, & flowers that she loved. During the 2 years she sometimes would go on business trips & be out of contact. She explained she avoided everyone during her work related trips. She did not want to reveal where she lived when I offered to mail her portrait I made of her. After last July meeting we agreed to meet again. After meeting she refused flowers because she was too busy we continued warm as before - writing 4 x a week. We still talked about meeting but only when she knew would not be traveling. She still refused gifts saying that she did not want deliveries but only if I give them personally. Yet we could not agree on a time for visit.
She never asks for gifts/ money. Towards holidays she became even warmer than ever - writing every day. During holidays she changed. Cool not writing often, being too busy, personal issues to write. Yet she was on dating site almost every day. I asked what happened to her attitude towards me & if she wanted to end things. She was surprised by my question and said no. I let it go until February when I asked what she thought about our 2 years and 3 months where it was going. No reply for a week. Earlier I had learned her address because she was so mysterious. I wanted to know who I was falling for or married or if I will be hurt. Why continue to write me if not interested?
After a week of no reply to my question of our 2 years I wrote a nice goodbye letter. I wanted more than a penpal but wife & so I wished her well. No reply. Feeling resentful I used her address to return a cup she gave me last July because she would always refuse my gifts. Then I realized I made a horrible mistake. I wrote heartfelt letter how I felt our times together how much I missed her apologizing for my mistakes & finding her address w/o her permission & sending back the cup. I offered travel to meet anytime. I know she received and read the letter through a receipt. I sent greetings for Int. Women’s Day. No replies. I am not entirely to blame but I did cross a line by getting her address and sending the gift back to her. I don’t know if she is angry or hurt or both.
She gave romantic signals during our meeting but I did not act on it. I am going to send the portrait I made of her since there is not going to be another meeting and she is remaining silent. I think I missed my chance. One last letter?  It seems there is nothing more I can do or say without frightening or disgusting her or whatever.

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Why do u keep doing that when there's no hope ?

Quit it.

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2 and a half year.

You should have ended this 2 years ago, at least.


How to face your fears: The "Hello darkness my old friend" technique
Books I recommand: The Power of Now from Eckhart Tolle/The Truth About Spiritual Enlightenment from Shanmugam P

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21 hours ago, gev said:

I am going to send the portrait I made of her since there is not going to be another meeting and she is remaining silent. I think I missed my chance. One last letter?

No. If this is going to have any chance of succeeding, you need to pull wayyy back and get back in touch with your own path as a man.

It still may not be enough. But the good news is it won't matter at that point.


My name is Austin Kourakin. Life Coach with a passion for personal development.

Check out my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeimIF08Jl8OPJ6JVzmYudQ

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I heard what I needed to hear. Like everything else in life, I'll get over it. I always do.

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You dont give gifts to a girl at a beggining of relationships ruins the mistery gifts are for girlfriends and wifes

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