"For crying out loud!"

[Charlotte]

10 minutes ago, MisterMan said:

Yeah i've had a similar thing, but with joy, when i'm happy i catch myself and think am i really happy? I kind of stop myself. What i am coming to realise is that all your emotions are part of the parcel of the human experience, the trick is to feel them all. Go through the emotion to understand it's nature, not to simply detach yourself, that will come but you don't want to have "the tail wag the dog". Different steps for different people.

 

Thanks for your input. I was going to post about joy myself, like you, I often ask myself am I really happy?

Sorry what I meant by detach was detach with the thought that usually comes with the emotion, basically to fully feel.

Thanks again

[MisterMan]

You're welcome:).

Judging yourself is a sort of violence, contempt towards yourself and i do a lot.  Although it's a known saying that an eye for an eye the world would go blind, but for whatever reason we don't seem to hold this value when we look inwardly. We cannot fight fire with fire in the "external" world, and the same applies with yourself, beating ourselves up about not doing the right is part of the cycle that keeps us doing the same thing. The only way to break the cycle is to love.

Wether it's someone who has done you wrong and instead of retaliating and perpetuating the cycle of back and forth, you end it through compassion. When you catch yourself doing something and judge yourself negatively, then you catch yourself judging yourself negatively! The only way you can stop it is by being compassionate. Otherwise we then play out our preconditioned behaviors of evading the shame, unskillfully and the cycle continues. 

Edited March 10, 2018 by MisterMan

[Maxi]

22 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

No, anger is actually different.

Expressions of anger is not "you letting stuff out", it's actually you hiding from the fact that you were hurt.

Anger is a sneaky emotion. It's not really genuine, even when it feels genuine. It's rooted in deep ignorance.

Anger is the smokescreen of the mind. Like a squid squirting a cloud of ink to get away.

Of course if you cry for manipulation, then that wouldn't be a healthy form of crying.

Cry consciously.

I disagree with this. Anger can serve a purpose and is a way of letting stuff out too.

I myself repressed my anger because my family demonized anger because my father were sometimes really angry when I was little. When I now have reclaimed more of my anger, I can feel anger as a tool for change. I've also felt it sometimes at other people when they bullshit themselves, but those times I usually hold it in and let it out later when I'm alone. I think what I should do is actually let it out in a lot of these circumstances, some people might need to hear it to get out of there bubbles of self-deceptions.

When kids bullied me in school I cried a lot, but it didn't help much. If I would have gotten angry instead of being silent maybe people would have taken it seriously and things would have changed.

 

In this video at about 5.35 in Peter Ralston becomes angry. It might be an old habit that gets purged away or another self-deception, but could also be a way to make the questioner change. Fittingly they also talk about anger. I love that after he showed anger he became completely calm and showed a little tricky friendly smile.

 

 

A good guideline to know if it's ''authentic'' anger is if it feels good and you are not suffering when you feel anger. All self-deceptions have a dirty feeling to them in a way. For example feeling like one is better than someone else feels good in a way because you feel important, but also dirty when you lie to yourself and think badly about someone else.

Frustration=self-deception.

Authentic anger=good emotion to have.

 

What do you think of this Leo?

Edited March 10, 2018 by Maxi

[Leo Gura]

Authentic anger is a rare thing. Any emotion felt with full consciousness is no problem. Authentic anger has little to do with what most people call "anger", even though the two might look similar.

The key element to make everything healthy is consciousness.

An enlightened yogi could inject heroin consciously and it would be okay.

[Leo Gura]

@John Lula Just contemplate: Why am I angry? Was is the anger distracting me from noticing about the situation?

And you will usually discover that the anger was a smokescreen hiding that you feel hurt. And then you will become conscious of the hurt. So then just feel and acknowledge the hurt. And then wonder why you are hurt. If you don't exist, how can anything hurt you?

[SpaceCowboy]

Crying is actually a very good thing. I've been crying a little daily in the past couple of days and I could really feel the physical and emotional relief immediately. Along with that, some chronic tension in the back of my neck, which has plagued me for many years, seemed to dissolve along with the emotional pain. So welcome crying anytime

[Forestluv]

One Sunday afternoon last month I sat on my couch listening to sad music. I then experienced the emotion of profound sadness. Deep, deep, deep. With and without crying. I just let go and experienced it. There was no *reason* for me to feel this and I didn't try to figure it out it my head. There was just profound sadness that came for an hour and then left. . .