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Hardkill

I Have No Faith In My Social, Sex, And Romance Life

20 posts in this topic

As the title says, I’ve lost all hope in my sex, social, and romance life. I’ve getting help in this, but nothing has helped me. Therapists have failed. Meditation and enlightenment and finding my life purpose take way too long. What’s a quick and easy way to get rid of this heartache. If I didn’t have a family I would seriously consider suicide as a viable option. I really mean it.

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Give us ALL the details of how the hundreds of approaches you say you have done have always failed. We simply can't know what you're doing wrong without the details. It might be that you've done all the wrong things hundreds of times without realizing it. Having done so many approaches only means anything if you LEARN from them and CHANGE your behaviour. The good side of this is that you should probably have a lot of data we can analyze from all those approaches, so if we do understand what you're doing wrong, then you can just fix it and go forward. So tell us everything about your approaches.

Also, last time someone asked, I remember you said you still live with your parents. That's one major issue you need to work on. How are you gonna take a girl home and have some privacy if you live with your parents?

One thing tho: please try to have some faith in yourself and love for yourself, otherwise all this work is USELESS. I know it's though, I can feel your pain, I've been there, it feels hopeless. But you really have to make a decision to stop beating yourself up and whining or you'll never get anywhere. I can assure you there will be a solution to your problems, but you have to try and have a good and open-minded attitude, be patient, love yourself as you are right now and trust the process.

Edited by see_on_see
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@Hardkill very good. you're getting closer. drop all of that. also, drop the suicide thing.

allow yourself to let go of everything. EVERYTHING.

get used to being lightweight. it's freedom.

you have no obligations whatsoever.

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1 hour ago, ajasatya said:

@Hardkill very good. you're getting closer. drop all of that. also, drop the suicide thing.

allow yourself to let go of everything. EVERYTHING.

get used to being lightweight. it's freedom.

you have no obligations whatsoever.

This kind of stuff is exactly what confuses people about personal development vs enlightenment. We're not talking about obligations, we're talking about basic NEEDS. This dude is desperate because he hasn't got his basic needs met and has an extremely weak ego, and reading stuff like "drop all that" isn't gonna mean anything to him and is in fact probably gonna make him feel even worse.

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2 minutes ago, see_on_see said:

This kind of stuff is exactly what confuses people about personal development vs enlightenment. We're not talking about obligations, we're talking about basic NEEDS. This dude is desperate because he hasn't got his basic needs met and has an extremely weak ego, and reading stuff like "drop all that" isn't gonna mean anything to him and is in fact probably gonna make him feel even worse.

he's got his basic needs. he doesn't have to sleep on the streets and beg for food. he doesn't have to feed his children. he doesn't have to hide in order to take a shit or use public bathrooms to take a bath.

he has no REAL reasons to be desperate. he can act from a state of peace. there's no hurry, really.

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Just now, ajasatya said:

he's got his basic needs. he doesn't have to sleep on the streets and beg for food. he doesn't have to feed his children. he doesn't have to hide in order to take a shit or use public bathrooms to take a bath.

he has no REAL reasons to be desperate. he can act from a state of peace. there's no hurry, really.

Social life and intimate relationships, while maybe not basic, are still a real psychological need.

Surely he can, and in fact has to, do a lot of consciousness and psychological work because he probably has a ton of false beliefs about this whole thing, first and foremost the fact that he so desperately needs it. But in such cases it's not as easy as just "dropping". Dropping the need can come after you have fulfilled the need at least a little bit, but when the need is totally unfulfilled and your ego is so weak, it's not gonna happen, it's putting the cart before the horse.

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21 minutes ago, see_on_see said:

it's not gonna happen

that's your belief, not my experience. i only talk about things that i was able to do, because if i can do it, i know that it's humanly possible.

i did drop a lot of things without even tasting them a single bit. i dropped them and accepted the fact that i didn't have those things. and most of them, i realized that they're just crap anyway. then i accepted a very slow paced lifestyle, studying and moving towards my balance everyday.

it's been 3 years since i made the decision to drop everything and live with extremely basic things only. the results? a steady, consistent and solid growth. i let go of my cravings and embraced hard working. no despair needed.

Edited by ajasatya
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6 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

that's your belief, not my experience. i only talk about things that i was able to do, because if i can do it, i know that it's humanly possible.

i did drop a lot of things without even tasting them a single bit. i dropped them and accepted the fact that i didn't have those things. and most of them, i realized that they're just crap anyway. then i accepted a very slow paced lifestyle, studying and moving towards my balance everyday.

it's been 3 years since i made the decision to drop everything and live with extremely basic things only. the results? a steady, consistent and solid growth. i let go of my dreams and embraced hard working. no despair needed.

No I agree with you, put this way it's much clearer, your first post was a bit airy-fairy. But at the same time it's also good if he sees a little bit of results. It's much easier to let go of false beliefs and self-images if he takes some action, tries to break down where he's doing wrong and gets a little success. No need to retreat relying purely on 100% consciousness work. His mind right now is probably a storm of negative thoughts coming from the fact he's had ZERO positive experiences, and it's hard to go forward in that place.

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@Hardkill There is no "quick fix". And I think you might want to realise that a quick fix would not make you happy. You would not feel better and your negative thoughts would still continue.
I think you have to go from two main perspectives:

1. Work on your thought patterns, inner beliefs, conciousness. This means:
-Daily meditation (no excuses)
-I can recommend the book psycho cybernetics for some subconciousness work 
-Finding the courses of your extreme lack of self worth and chipping away at them

2. Outer Work
As said before, some real hands on experience from your approaches would help us to see your problems.
I can recommend the books "Models" as well as "The Way of the superior man", as stated before.


---------------

One thing that you really have to start thinking about might be the following: What do you gain from your current perspective. Does it help you to hold on to your victim thinking? And if not, why are you doing it? Is it a possibility that you are afraid to actually really take life into your hands and work on this stuff for real and that it is easier to just say you tried everything please give me the quick fix?

@see_on_see @ajasatya I just wanna say that I really appreciate your desire to help others. I can really see it in your comments and I have never found such a supporting community. I am kinda astounded. 

Edited by Marco_the_Ape
Some minor errors
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So I should work on both my inner and outer weaknesses at about the same time?

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@Hardkill I would focus on:

  1. Habits( working out and eating alright, these kinds of things) 
  2. Inner and outer weaknesses(can be fixed normally with some new habits)
  3. Social skills (Make some friends)
  4. Sex/romantic (whichever one comes first)

This will take some time yes, but it will definitely be worth it.

Btw I was in your position two years ago, although no family either :( 

Edited by Spiral
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You can't be enlightened, no one can.;)

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1 hour ago, Spiral said:

@Hardkill I would focus on:

  1. Habits( working out and eating alright, these kinds of things) 
  2. Inner and outer weaknesses(can be fixed normally with some new habits)
  3. Social skills (Make some friends)
  4. Sex/romantic (whichever one comes first)

This will take some time yes, but it will definitely be worth it.

Btw I was in your position two years ago, although no family either :( 

Damn. How the hell did you survive through such pain and misery?

My habits except for procrastination and time management are in check. 

Inner and outer weaknesses, social, seduction, and romance skills are still a great mystery to me. 

 

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Yeah Ajasatya, I agree with see_on_see. Like Leo said, you can't just meditate away your need for sex, unless you are middle or older and have had a lot of experience with sex beforehand. I am still young and have had very little experience with sex (despite having had a fair amount of makeout sessions with various girls). 

 

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11 hours ago, see_on_see said:

No I agree with you, put this way it's much clearer, your first post was a bit airy-fairy. But at the same time it's also good if he sees a little bit of results. It's much easier to let go of false beliefs and self-images if he takes some action, tries to break down where he's doing wrong and gets a little success. No need to retreat relying purely on 100% consciousness work. His mind right now is probably a storm of negative thoughts coming from the fact he's had ZERO positive experiences, and it's hard to go forward in that place.

Okay. Here is a lay report of mine, from a couple of years ago, telling how I lost my V-card:

http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/lay-reports/long-last-did-vt193152.html

I had a small text conversation with her a few days after we fucked. Sadly however, she suddenly and randomly ghosted me and so I never heard or saw her ever again.  A lot of times I feel like I lost my V-card and got a few lays from a few other girls through sheer luck. 

Edited by Hardkill
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9 hours ago, Hardkill said:

Damn. How the hell did you survive through such pain and misery?

At some point, you don't even have the energy for anything (including suicide) but in many way you don't really survive anyway.

9 hours ago, Hardkill said:

My habits except for procrastination and time management are in check. 

Inner and outer weaknesses, social, seduction, and romance skills are still a great mystery to me. 

For me it was like this, during my childhood and teenage years I was extremely addicted to playing video games. So all my friendships most of which I meet online in these games were incredibly shallow. After getting though high school I stop playing video games and in the process lost these "friends" and I came to the realized that my social skills IRL were basically nonexistent. Therefore I couldn't make new friends and so the "fun" begins.

Have you had friend in the past?

How old are you and what do you do(study, work or unemployed etc)?

How do you spend your free time(for fun)?

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You can't be enlightened, no one can.;)

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9 hours ago, Hardkill said:

Okay. Here is a lay report of mine, from a couple of years ago, telling how I lost my V-card:

http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/lay-reports/long-last-did-vt193152.html

I had a small text conversation with her a few days after we fucked. Sadly however, she suddenly and randomly ghosted me and so I never heard or saw her ever again.  A lot of times I feel like I lost my V-card and got a few lays from a few other girls through sheer luck. 

What the fuck is this? xD I was talking about the reports of the hundreds of approaches you claim you have done, what are we supposed to do with this? Did you even bother to read my first post? But at this point there's no need. I went through some of your posts in other threads and it quickly became clear that you are a total victim who refuses to develop himself and to understand human and female psychology. All you seem to care about is TAKING from others without GIVING. This is the reason why all the outside help you tried to get always failed. All the outside help in the world will ALWAYS fail if you refuse to help yourself first. You got all your mindsets ass-backwards. You probably haven't even bothered to watch the most basic Actualized videos, and if you have, you probably watched them in the same extremely superficial way you treated all the help that people have been trying to give you on this forum.

In my opinion, here's what you should do: have the balls to admit that you're TOTALLY WRONG about everything. Get deeply in touch with the fact you're totally bullshitting yourself. Stop having such a shallow approach towards life and other people. Drop your petty victim ego and stop whining like a pussy. Stop telling yourself that you watched videos, read books and done hundreds of approaches, that doesn't count for shit if you still write the kind of stuff you've been posting on this forum. Start FROM SCRATCH, take FULL responsibility, and go watch basic personal development videos.

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6 hours ago, see_on_see said:

What the fuck is this? xD I was talking about the reports of the hundreds of approaches you claim you have done, what are we supposed to do with this? Did you even bother to read my first post? But at this point there's no need. I went through some of your posts in other threads and it quickly became clear that you are a total victim who refuses to develop himself and to understand human and female psychology. All you seem to care about is TAKING from others without GIVING. This is the reason why all the outside help you tried to get always failed. All the outside help in the world will ALWAYS fail if you refuse to help yourself first. You got all your mindsets ass-backwards. You probably haven't even bothered to watch the most basic Actualized videos, and if you have, you probably watched them in the same extremely superficial way you treated all the help that people have been trying to give you on this forum.

In my opinion, here's what you should do: have the balls to admit that you're TOTALLY WRONG about everything. Get deeply in touch with the fact you're totally bullshitting yourself. Stop having such a shallow approach towards life and other people. Drop your petty victim ego and stop whining like a pussy. Stop telling yourself that you watched videos, read books and done hundreds of approaches, that doesn't count for shit if you still write the kind of stuff you've been posting on this forum. Start FROM SCRATCH, take FULL responsibility, and go watch basic personal development videos.

There is no way for me to write extensive reports on each of the hundreds of approaches that I made. I am telling you I am doing my best. I have help many others in the past. You don't know my personal life. 

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@see_on_see Thank you for the real-talk. 

@Hardkill I can't really say much more to that topic, except that you should really really really try to go deep inside yourself. Read all your posts here again. Read all the answers. Do it 10 times. And then do it again. And then try to see this from an outside perspective. You might see where the problem lies. 

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1 hour ago, Hardkill said:

There is no way for me to write extensive reports on each of the hundreds of approaches that I made. I am telling you I am doing my best. I have help many others in the past. You don't know my personal life. 

"I am telling you I am doing my best, I have helped many others in the past". You arrogant fuck! :D Don't you see how you're bullshitting yourself?

Of course I didn't mean you should post a detailed report of every approach you did. I meant that if you have done hundreds of approaches then you should have a shit ton of stuff to write about what happened, what went wrong, how you got rejected and so on. Instead you write these lazy ass one-liners, as if we're supposed to read your mind or something. Notice how you're being incredibly lazy.

In each and every post you always sound like a total zombie. Even when someone asks you about your interests, you always respond like you don't even fucking care. You can't be surprised people find you repulsive (girls especially). Develop a fucking sense of humor and wonder about life. Go explore life, travel or something, do some psychedelics, get some real emotion, get inspired about something that isn't just about getting your dick in a pussy. Do something for yourself, do something YOU TRULY LOVE. Quit your fucking family job and revolutionize your life, follow your fucking intuition!!!

You're telling me all you can see in life is the fact you can't get pussy?!? Gimme a fucking break! Allow yourself to get your mind off this whole thing, allow yourself to look a bit deeper. You are a living and breathing human being, alive in this universe. LOOK! You can't tell me that this story of "poor me I can't get laid" is ALL YOU GOT in your life!

You even talk about life purpose as if it's just a thing to be used to attract girls. "It's too long", as if it's some boring goal you gotta achieve to become more attractive before you can finally get laid. Wake the fuck up bro. Life purpose is FOR YOU. It's meant to be something that blows your mind, that inspires you about life independently of anything else, that gets you in touch with your soul. And don't fucking tell me you already tried to find it!!!

Learn to see the beauty in life, regardless of your perceived problems. Learn to look deeper. Learn to look at everything in life with new eyes. See the profundity of it, stop being so fucking shallow, with yourself and others! Stop seeing women as objects to be manipulated in order to fuck them. Stop using terms such as "lay report", "V-card" and all that obnoxious shit! Forget about stupid-ass pickup, it's frying your brain with all those shallow ideas and labels! You are not an object, other people are not objects! Look deeper within you, look past all this nonsense! You are a human being!!! Other people are human beings!!! Look past your life story, everyone has problems, get over it. Everyone of us has had problems with the opposite sex for years, you're NOT some special case, as you like to believe!!! Stop comparing yourself to others! Bite the fucking bullet for once, and learn to love life!!!

And guess what, when you'll start doing that, if you'll ever allow yourself, you'll see that eventually, GRADUALLY, with patience -- the patience of someone that loves life independently of petty bullshit -- that's when things will start clicking for you, including social life and relationships.

And don't even fucking try to reply to this post saying that you already tried. You haven't, and if you're thinking that, go back and re-read it, because you missed it.

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This didn't help out. Sorry for wasting your time guys, but thanks for trying.

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