Sarah Marie

People Blow My Mind

29 posts in this topic

Also, I feel I can comment on perhaps not a direct case of social exclusion due to already existing relationships, but of a more abstract feeling of self-imposed isolation in general.

I feel like, while I could make friends with some people, it's kinda better if I don't. Because, in order to make friends, you have to create rapport* with them and that means perhaps sometimes altering yourself in unfavorable ways.

Most "high quality" people, anecdotally speaking, already have their social need covered.** 

Which means that the people that are interested in constructing investment in new friendships are the usually the socially unfavorable people.

It's somewhat of a dilemma.  : P

I've just been autistic-ing myself out and spent time dating my computer, watching a lot of inspiration people talk to me instead. While it is 99% one way street communication, If I keep watching the most recent content, I still feel as I am connected to the surrounding world, and not too immensely isolated. I guess I just have to suck the loneliness up and keep working on myself, until I reach enough positive results as to be able to have natural resonation with the "cool kids". 

 

* (Rapport is like a mental thing that happens when you connect to someone, you start think like them and perhaps even physically move like them.) 
** (Not saying I'm necessarily high quality lol some parts of my life situation is trash)


Endless nuance

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The problem is that personal development is not the 'norm' so people think it's weird. They don't get it, they don't see what it's about, why you do it and how you benefit from it. And it seems to be typical human nature to criticise or somehow invalidate that which is different from 'normality'.

So as you develop in to something else, something different from them, they look at you as the weird one. The one who has lost the plot and needs help. They can't see the growth because it is so alien to them.

And yes, they are probably scared too. Scared that you are turning in to something that they can't relate to. Scared of losing you. When people 'care' for someone it is rarely for the benefit of that person. It is because that person serves some purpose to the one who is 'caring'. What they care about most is how you meet their own personal needs. So when you stop doing this because you have grown beyond that, they are losing something and will express 'care' that is more about them than it is about you.

I think this is an inherent probablem with personal development.

 

12 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

So start your own nest in the cabin in the woods ;)

 

12 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Have the courage to follow your own path wherever it leads. And have faith that the right people will show up on it. Not necessarily your existing people. But the *right* people.

Exactly this..


“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.”  - Lao Tzu

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@Sarah_Flagg

I'm just speaking from my experience. They haven't developed themselves high enough to understand what you're doing. Or, another thing...They could still love you and be with you and you could all live together as a group-no problem, but they would need to detach themselves from you (give you plenty of space to develop with respect). This works too. It is possible for people at different stages to live together in harmony. Sometimes time is the biggest healer. But, until then, the person has to show it through his/her pores that overstepping boundaries is unexceptable. 

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 Folks want to create you in their own image... it's BLASPHEMY! BLASPHEMY I TELL YOU!

It used to bother me, kind of makes me laugh now:P They are hell-bent on helping you by "raising" you.

And  E-G-O is it's name-o

Edited by d1ajax

What you resist, persists and less of you exists. There is a part of you that never leaves. You are not in; you have never been. You know. You put it there and time stretches. 

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@Sarah_Flagg I know exactly what your talking about, I like to think its like every action has a reaction, the intervention of such focused self actualization people get annoyed when they dont get it ! when they do not understand why the person is changing and they are forced to think that maybe they did something wrong which results in getting upset, best way is to ignore such short encounters cause what i have noticed it only lasts till you are in the room. 

 

 

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On 2/24/2016 at 8:23 PM, Sarah_Flagg said:

I feel like I'm going to end up happy alone in a cabin eating my raw veggies.

Maybe we'll be cabin neighbors. Lol

My friends and family have noticed a change, but I've always been a little different. I get ridiculed for meditating some times. I use to try to talk to them about the stuff I'm learning, but it only lead to arguments. I got frustrated with the whole situation, so I just don't try anymore. I was seriously considering the log cabin idea, but i don't have the money for it right now. At least we have a place we can talk to other like minded people about it now. Who knows, maybe it will lead to other things. :)

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@Sarah_Flagg

Let me pls just add...

It is possible for the couple and/or the family to go from co-dependent relationships to independent relationships no matter what society says. (Society doesn't know what happens behind closed doors.) This usually happens over time by seeing the person's actions and very little to do with what's spoken. However, you never know, one day, the person may get a few beautiful interdependent relationships out of these. Very rarely do people start off with interdependent relationships.

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5 hours ago, T1r1on said:

Maybe we'll be cabin neighbors. Lol

Can I join the party here? lol. Seriously, at this rate there will be a small community of peolpe living in cabins.. and why not?


“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.”  - Lao Tzu

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On 2/24/2016 at 0:09 AM, Natura Sonoris said:

But anyway, best advice is not taking anything personally even if you are closely related to the person. Be aware that in these situations, your ego will swing here into emotions and it will pull that "defense" mode. Then you will get in arguments, victim mode etc. and that's just waste if energy. Try to be aware when it happens. When it does happen, just sit down and see what happened there on your part (ego talking to its self his own bullshit xD)

@Natura Sonoris good reminder, thanks. ;)

 

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