Limiting Beliefs

[Ryan_047]

I've come to the conclusion that I have some limiting beliefs,and I don't know what I am supposed to do about them.

The one that is affecting me the most is that I don't deserve love/affection for who I am right this moment.I feel like I need to change in order to get this need met.And..i don't only mean the love from a girlfriend/spouse,I also talk about the love from friends and family.I can't feel any connection with any of them..I have the feeling that I resist forming any intimate connection with anybody.Everytime a conversation gets more..deep and it starts going in the direction of personal problems,traumas and feelings in general..I just avoid it.For some reason I am afraid to death to tell someone of the unpleasant times of my life or my problems.I think this is because I fear rejection, judgement or not being understood.

Having more intimate connections with people would make me feel more alive..but I don't know what to do exactly.. I've never had any girlfriend or talked openly about my feelings face to face.I guess I'm ashamed of them..

[egoeimai]

You can open up here. I suppose its anonymous.  

Face your feelings. 

[Erlend K]

This is a common problem, and there is no quick fix for this. Have you tried talking to a therapist? If nothing else, therapy would be a safe, supportive training ground for opening up and talking about personal stuff. Once you get used to opening up to your therapist you can start slowly pushing yourself to share small bits of personal information to the people you trust the most, and slowly, gradualy go from there. 

Edited August 14, 2017 by Erlend K

[veqsms]

Before two months I read The Power of positive thinking by norman vincent peal which gave me some inspiration and insights, because like you I felt useless and as I can see my community, happy are those who achieved things in life but not me.

 

In his book He mention "why not using the power of praying"  cus he used to be a pastor. Although I'm not really religious man but I found that useful.

By repeating some affirmations taken in Holy books one can increase self confidence and self love. At least that's what I think

 

Best regards to all.

[Joseph Maynor]

If you can learn to love yourself fully you won't need love to come externally.  Then you will not come off as clingy or insecure which repels people.  You'll be interfacing with the world sourced in love, giving love.  That's how you'll get love back is by overflowing with abundant love sourced inside of you.  Shower the people you know with love.   Give abundantly without any desire to be recompensed and you will get so much love back.  And then the people around you will start to want to do kind things for you not because they feel like they owe you, but because they like you and want to nurture you, to care for you, to bond with you.  When you tap into Divine Love everyone around you will know it.  It will change your life.  You'll be a source, not a sink; grounded from inside yourself, not insecure.   Remember, respect is a form of love.  One of the most priceless things you can do to show love is to show respect to someone, especially someone who is unaccustomed to being given much respect.  Call a homeless man sir and see what response you get.  Kindness and gentleness and patience and respect are what people really love to receive.  Giving these to people from a place of abundance is one of the greatest joys in life.  Not to mention what you get back in return.

Edited August 16, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[shahryar]

you are full of pessimist ideas about yourself , start with positive affirmation write on the wall that you are good with girls relations and intimacy write that you are independent and not needy and have confidence and remind yourself daily about them
and trust is not something that you should have in the first place its something that has to be built so dont blame yourself for not trusting but in order to examine your friend give them a shot so risk one time and see what is their reaction if you find the compassionate  and understanding trust more and let it be built this is actually through game theory in long run the one that risks for first time but after that acts after what is the action of the other one wins
and if you have problem with risking for first time initially recognize that its a phobia meaning being scared for something that is not necessarily real then imagine in your mind that what would be the worse that could happen  if I say that problem most of the time you'll find out that even the worst reaction imaginable isn't that bad to avoid you to try