General Nothingness's Battle Plan: Objective: Truth Or Self?

[Voyager]

Hello my furry friends, 

I'm soon to be moving in a new direction with my life and leaving my old career behind to start a new journey in health / life coaching.

I kept thinking to myself it's okay to get experience and build this new identity as a coach, because I can always move into the realm of spiritual coaching which would be rewarding to help raise people's consciousness. 

...But this thought/feeling keeps visiting me. 

Am i just delaying the inevitable and fucking around? Playing into the illusion and avoiding the REAL work? Building a new self identity, new beliefs and new paradigm, and adding to, instead of dissolving self? It sure seems like the slow lane, or perhaps the sidewalk. I mean...there's no, "oh i'll just keep that little part of my self that I like, the coach part". 

I'll never stop this journey now, i'm balls deep, but my gut tells me if I REALLY, REALLY want the Truth, permanently,  i'd should consider going ALL IN. It's only Fear that's stopping me after all... But then there are BILLS TO PAY, oh yes those oh so important bills. 

The message I'm getting is that life can't start until you dissolve self, so isn't the best tactical plan to make enlightenment the first priority, get that out of the way, no longer be a self, then see what is in store for me then? 

For those who have traveled this path for many years whilst building careers & life purpose, having families, being social and all that, do you feel like you are TRULY effectively dissolving your identity ?

Will "life" pass me in the end without Liberation because I took the sidewalk instead of the fast lane?

I FEEL SO CONFUSED. 

- General Nothingness <3

[Leo Gura]

@Voyager There are many paths up the same mountain.

If you want to go ALL IN, you can, and that will be great.

If you want to work on your career, and then go ALL IN, that also works.

If you want to work on your career, and never go ALL IN, but still have a spiritual practice, that also works.

Just depends on what you really want. It's gonna be a challenge either way.

It's sorta like the difference between ripping off a Band-Aid quickly vs slowly.

What's most painful (and I speak from experience with this) is not making a clear-cut decision and trying to do all 3 at once.

[Voyager]

@Leo Gura I feel like i have no choice but to go ALL IN. My plan really at the moment is to get my freedom from working for the man, do something that I love, then go ALL in, but it means waiting a few years, and hoping I don't get sucked into loving my new coach identity so much that I lose sight of the Truth. 

[Leo Gura]

@Voyager Success is addictive fo sho. It's like ego crack

No thing makes you forget about enlightenment/Truth as quickly as success.

[Voyager]

@Leo Gura Haha that's why I feel like the intelligent general would know better and ditch any notion of walking sideways. 

[Dodo]

1 hour ago, Voyager said:

Hello my furry friends, 

I'm soon to be moving in a new direction with my life and leaving my old career behind to start a new journey in health / life coaching.

I kept thinking to myself it's okay to get experience and build this new identity as a coach, because I can always move into the realm of spiritual coaching which would be rewarding to help raise people's consciousness. 

...But this thought/feeling keeps visiting me. 

Am i just delaying the inevitable and fucking around? Playing into the illusion and avoiding the REAL work? Building a new self identity, new beliefs and new paradigm, and adding to, instead of dissolving self? It sure seems like the slow lane, or perhaps the sidewalk. I mean...there's no, "oh i'll just keep that little part of my self that I like, the coach part". 

I'll never stop this journey now, i'm balls deep, but my gut tells me if I REALLY, REALLY want the Truth, permanently,  i'd should consider going ALL IN. It's only Fear that's stopping me after all... But then there are BILLS TO PAY, oh yes those oh so important bills. 

The message I'm getting is that life can't start until you dissolve self, so isn't the best tactical plan to make enlightenment the first priority, get that out of the way, no longer be a self, then see what is in store for me then? 

For those who have traveled this path for many years whilst building careers & life purpose, having families, being social and all that, do you feel like you are TRULY effectively dissolving your identity ?

Will "life" pass me in the end without Liberation because I took the sidewalk instead of the fast lane?

I FEEL SO CONFUSED. 

- General Nothingness <3

I feel like this is the same as the character in your dream tonight having those same issues.

Consciousness is not gonna leave just because you want to make money!

Do what you like, as long as you're in alignment with your true being - Peace, love and joy.

-Dream entity 1532521

[Space]

On 03/08/2017 at 9:17 AM, Leo Gura said:

If you want to go ALL IN, you can, and that will be great.

What would going ALL IN actually consist of, in practical sense?

[Voyager]

@Space When I said ALL IN, for me I'm thinking i'd need to uproot myself from my current work, culture, friends, family, and either isolate myself or use the guidance of a Guru in another country or join a monastery. The main thing is practically I don't know how I can provide the essential human needs of feeding and sheltering myself, unless I could do the monk thing, which I suppose they provide some rice and water for sweeping the floors. I've been thinking about the monk thing for a while now but I don't know much about it, and whether it's something you can just turn up at the door and be like "yo wassup i'm ere for some enlightenment bra". 

[Joseph Maynor]

Don't prejudge so much.  Follow your intuition and stop trying to control the future on this.  You don't know what lies ahead.  It's like trying to grow up faster than Nature intends.  Let it unfold naturally.  There is nothing existentially bad about success or fame.  It all depends on whether it's authentic to you or not.

Edited August 4, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[Space]

45 minutes ago, Voyager said:

@Space When I said ALL IN, for me I'm thinking i'd need to uproot myself from my current work, culture, friends, family, and either isolate myself or use the guidance of a Guru in another country or join a monastery. The main thing is practically I don't know how I can provide the essential human needs of feeding and sheltering myself, unless I could do the monk thing, which I suppose they provide some rice and water for sweeping the floors. I've been thinking about the monk thing for a while now but I don't know much about it, and whether it's something you can just turn up at the door and be like "yo wassup i'm ere for some enlightenment bra". 

Just to clarify, I wasn't criticising your comment. I'm genuinely interested in what going ALL IN would actually entail. Was wondering what Leo's thoughts are on this. Signing up to a monastery is certainly one option, as it's much more structured and disciplined. There are downsides of this though, such as not being able to do psychedelics. Doing a bunch of solo retreats, combined with intense daily practise and psychedelics might be the better option. But then theres the problem of having to pay bills etc. 

[MiracleMan]

I feel like going to join a monastery is the nuclear option, I think everyone thinks about this at some point on their path.  I have a new mortgage so I can't walk away from that commitment  (at least until I get some decent equity).

My nuclear option was more or less to spend 6 to 8 months attempting a through hike of the Appalachian Trail, treating it like a very long meditation retreat.  Not expecting to find enlightenment in this sense, but seems like a good way to really make a hard disconnect from modern society and just be surrounded by nature 24/7.

[Christos]

@Voyager The price of truth is everything but it's hard to understand what "everything" means unless you're paying it. At some point abandoning the path becomes impossible and you can only temporarily stray from it. Believe me, I've tried, but the question of "What the fuck is the truth?" becomes a parasite in your head and does not let you resume your normal life, making ego destruction a matter of time.Regardless of what you choose now, you have already drilled deep enough (to be even considering going all in) that permanently returning to absolute delusion is impossible. You will see soon enough that the fast lane is the only lane there is and the only lane that matters.

Don't worry, you are already too deep to back out. And for the record, you don't need a guru. You are more than enough.

[Voyager]

13 hours ago, Space said:

Just to clarify, I wasn't criticising your comment.

Didn't even have that thought mate! 

13 hours ago, Space said:

There are downsides of this though, such as not being able to do psychedelics.

That's a deal breaker right there for sure!  Perhaps the awareness raising within that setting might offset the inability to use psychedelics? 

13 hours ago, Space said:

Doing a bunch of solo retreats, combined with intense daily practise and psychedelics might be the better option.

Yeah that's basically where I'm at, and hopefully that'll be enough to see the television screen; God, during the movie; Me. 

6 hours ago, MiracleMan said:

My nuclear option was more or less to spend 6 to 8 months attempting a through hike of the Appalachian Trail, treating it like a very long meditation retreat.  Not expecting to find enlightenment in this sense, but seems like a good way to really make a hard disconnect from modern society and just be surrounded by nature 24/7.

That sounds awesome man, do that for sure!

@Christos Appreciate your comments Christos. There's no chance I can ever forget what I've experienced, it's too deep and too profound. It's a complete mind fuck. To be honest I think I've been on the autobahn and that's why my mind is so fucked up right now. There may be such a thing as too much too soon on this journey.