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About Voyager

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  1. @Martin123 Thanks Martin I've followed your Emotional healing guide and it looks juicy. Looking forward to reading it. <3
  2. Man, the first few years of personal development I was so driven, excited, grateful, calm, peaceful, joyful. I would regularly cry about how amazing I felt. I did the work as prescribed by Leo and from all the other sources. Then I had my first God experience. It opened my curiosity up a lot, and made the world that much more beautiful. Then the second,far more powerful God experience, which rattled me to the core, staring at the nothingness that I was. After several months it has me feeling like i'm stuck in limbo, and have no clue what is real and what is not. I am literally always in a state of unknowing and confusion. I am stuck in this Nihilism. I feel the only way to get out of this is to see the full picture. And of course despite feeling terrified of the existential, I can't help but continue, because I have no where else to go, nothing else I can do. I feel like that rain drop on Leo's InSights that has bounced twice off the ocean and still has another 4 bounces before it merges back with its source. Leo seems to deliver his weekly Video's and looks pretty damn happy every week, considering how long his Hey's are and how Smiley he's getting! Am I missing something here? Are you all also facing these Dark Nights for extended periods? How do I stay motivated when I am nihilistic, sane when I am insane, and joyful when I am in purgatory? <3
  3. @Monkey-man I've been feeling pulled in that direction for some time. That too is my current plan (or something similar). My self that requires security is telling me to wait for another 2 years to clear up some financial loose ends and have a safety net. (And perhaps in that time I'll realise I never needed to go anywhere to find what I was looking for) I'd love to hear what you discover. I have not yet done my own research into India.
  4. @Nahm Where's your Ape avatar! Well, yes, evidently i don't have the full picture otherwise fear would be irrelevant The problem is that I've had one of these awakenings and I feel like I'm in Limbo, Like i'm that rain drop that's hit the ocean twice but still has another 4 rebounds off the surface before it fully merges and has the clear understanding. This Limbo stage is really difficult. Thoughts that stop me letting go: I don't believe that any of this exists. That If i let go, I will probably be just awareness, and return to what? Is there anything really here? Why would I return to a life of suffering anyway? If this reality is somewhat real, I don't see how I can operate a single perspective once I am the full perspective? How would the operation of my current experience and body still be possible? Is it that once you are the full perspective, you can anchor back into an ego to operate a human experience? And wouldn't I be able to anchor to any human experience as I am all that?
  5. @nightrider1435 Yeah... But I trust that in time it will become a natural progression in the raising of my consciousness!
  6. @Kazman It's those sneaky distractions, as you say, that keep us from going deep with the work. Perhaps I can get my mum to cook my food and gong when its ready, not a good idea unless I like everything burnt :'D I'm pretty keen to try it. I've done a few silent retreats but they don't have this angle to them, just a lot of meditation.
  7. @WorthyBird This is what triggered an infinite expansion last night! It was the first time I'd ever really deeply inspected the now, with a magnifying glass, seeing that everything i'd experienced has only ever happened right now. So everything must be now. Including me. I was shocked to see how powerful it was to do that. So shocked that my infinite expansion came to a halt no long after it began
  8. @Kazman Hmm. I was looking at after reading your post, which I could possibly make for the 4.5 day option. Do you think it could be easily replicated, with a friend / stranger who'd be keen? It would be a lot cheaper to have someone stay round my house for a few days and commit to it. That said, it might be hard not being in an environment where going deep is the only option, being hammered by questions and little distractions. Did the Guru provide a lot of guidance? That you feel that you needed?
  9. @nightrider1435 I just can't fathom what it will be like if I let go of my identity 100%. If I let go and become infinite and haven't even taken any substance, god knows if I'll return! Martin Ball was infinite for months before his Ego returned.
  10. @Leo Gura It's true. Since my awakening a few months ago, I already know what I am, but I am playing the game, and skipping around the Truth, because i'm still terrified of what it means to let go fully. I'm focusing on Ken Wilber's teachings at the moment, to ensure that I am Grown Up enough to handle my Waking Up...
  11. Last night when I got home from work I felt like absolute shite. I'd been tackling a problem and thought i'd totally fucked it up and the emotions were running high. When I lied down on my bed I closed my eyes I started to inspect these emotions and become very aware of them & started detaching. I started a self enquiry, (which i rarely do). After some 30 minutes or so, I felt this 'aha' moment come on, like i'd just uncovered what I was. Suddenly i felt my consciousness start to expand rapidly, the same feeling I got when I smoked a low dose of 5-meo. (but not enough to break through). Likewise with the 5-meo experience, my ego slammed on the handbrake when it felt itself disappearing. However as I had not taken anything this time, the resistance was far less violent. My heart started pounding crazily in my chest, but it didn't feel like my heart. My body then went into violent shaking, as if i had hypothermia. This is the first time anything like this has happened without a psychedelic. What was this?
  12. Mantak Chia describes how you transform the sexual energy . It seems a bit complicated, and I haven't put in enough effort to understand and practice it. I found that if you keep allowing the energy to arise but do not take action on it, eventually it fizzles away for longer periods, sometimes weeks at a time. Before you the BOOM i'm BACK BABY. @Privet Many meditation sessions I've been sat there with a rager and watching porn in my mind.
  13. (Herbs not mentioned that I found in Fix your Fatigue for killing off Parasites) Berberine, Oregano Oil, Olive Leaf, Walnut Bark, Barberry Root and Uva Ursi Smash down loads of probiotics or prebiotics to help balance the microbiome?
  14. Work with a Naturopath or Functional Medicine Dr. You need someone to do all your blood work, It could be a million different things. There's an amazing book called Fix your Fatigue that I'd suggest reading.
  15. Hi All, Just had this Electro-Dermal Screening done. It was quite an interesting appointment. In a nut shell it can help you identify if you have any bacteria, virus, fungi/yeast and parasites, also which organs are under stress or weak, and which minerals/vitamins you need. They have you hold this metal rod in your left hand, then they touch the other end to points in your feet and hands. It's hooked up to a laptop and it shows whether your testing positive or negative. I didn't tell the practitioner anything about myself, and because I work with a naturopath I know what issues my body has. It was very accurate as far as telling me which minerals I need, and also picked up on things like the fact that I had dengue fever in the past. It also detected a load of dormant bacteria/virus etc that I've been given Homeopathy drops to flush out of my system... It was only randomly that I stumbled into this, because I've just sent a lot of samples to labs to test my heavy metals, parasites, virus ,bacteria etc etc because there are some inflammation issues i'm testing positive for that we can't wrap our heads around, and this is the next step in troubleshooting. It just so happened that I was getting some Accupunture here and i heard about it, so thought it would be interesting to compare tests! Will let you know how the comparison goes. ElectroDS Vs. Stool testing