Random sexual hookups

[blankisomeone]

How can you guys (men and women) do it without feeling terrible about yourselves and without carrying the person's energy with you for weeks and months? I don't get it. It just doesn't seem worth it to me, it takes a lot of emotional energy and risk. But at the same time it seems like I'm missing out on something cuz y'all just be having sex left and right and enjoying it? Like how?!

Edited yesterday at 01:26 AM by blankisomeone

[yetineti]

The real question is why you feel bad about it. Having sex is foundational to the species.

Complaining about it is new.

[something_else]

Everybody is different. Some people like casual sex, some don’t. Sometimes people are for or against it for the wrong reasons, like repression. But many just have preferences one way or the other.

[blankisomeone]

4 hours ago, yetineti said:

The real question is why you feel bad about it.

I don't know. I've had casual sex and I'm not sure I enjoyed it. It's like their energy stayed with me for weeks after the encounter! It felt like some deep ass emotional stuff was going on on some deep spiritual level which lasted for weeks. So in the end it wasn't "casual" at all. And other people just seem to be able to hit it and quit it like nothing happened and enjoy themselves.

So I don't know if something is wrong with me for feeling terrible after casual sex, like maybe shame issues? Enmeshment issues? Or whatever. Or if I'm just more spiritually sensitive than most apes.

Edited yesterday at 01:31 AM by blankisomeone

[enchanted]

53 minutes ago, blankisomeone said:

I don't know. I've had casual sex and I'm not sure I enjoyed it. It's like their energy stayed with me for weeks after the encounter! It felt like some deep ass emotional stuff was going on on some deep spiritual level which lasted for weeks. So in the end it wasn't "casual" at all. And other people just seem to be able to hit it and quit it like nothing happened and enjoy themselves.

So I don't know if something is wrong with me for feeling terrible after casual sex, like maybe shame issues? Enmeshment issues? Or whatever. Or if I'm just more spiritually sensitive than most apes.

AI iis not good at everything but it is very good at therapy. 

[Raze]

So just have short term relationships. 

[Basman]

Do what's best for you. Ignore cultural memes of what is desirable.

[Cireeric]

21 hours ago, blankisomeone said:

I don't know. I've had casual sex and I'm not sure I enjoyed it. It's like their energy stayed with me for weeks after the encounter! It felt like some deep ass emotional stuff was going on on some deep spiritual level which lasted for weeks. So in the end it wasn't "casual" at all. And other people just seem to be able to hit it and quit it like nothing happened and enjoy themselves.

So I don't know if something is wrong with me for feeling terrible after casual sex, like maybe shame issues? Enmeshment issues? Or whatever. Or if I'm just more spiritually sensitive than most apes.

Yes I think casual sex is basically a misnomer. For most of our evolutionary history until very recently sex meant reproduction, which meant a significant investment into a future with the other person. Just because we can decouple sex from reproduction now we havent erased the underlying deep biological-, anthropological-, emotional sifnificance attached to it. This is not meant as a moral-argument and Im not saying it is wrong to have "casual" sex, but what one realizes pretty fast with some awareness and observation is that there is usually not so much casual about it. I think there is some sifnificant degree of unconsciousness needed to maintain the illusion of it being just "casual". 

[blankisomeone]

3 hours ago, Cireeric said:

This is not meant as a moral-argument and Im not saying it is wrong to have "casual" sex, but what one realizes pretty fast with some awareness and observation is that there is usually not so much casual about it. I think there is some sifnificant degree of unconsciousness needed to maintain the illusion of it being just "casual". 

I agree. That's why I think @enchanted needs some therapy to raise his/her consciousness a bit.

Edited 39 minutes ago by blankisomeone