Why Am I Trying to Impress Women Instead of Connecting With Them?

[AtmanIsBrahman]

Try doing some robotic affirmations.

Pick one or two affirmations. For example, “I understand and connect with women effortlessly.”

Then say it in your head over and over until it starts clicking. It sounds silly, but it works.

[oOo]

Easy.

Fear of rejection.

The fear creates the the need to impress to suppress the fear of losing that hasn't yet even been experienced in presence.

But you can't have that presence, unless you prioritise connection.

But you can't have that connection, unless you prioritise yourself.

In as much as you cannot see into you, you will be lost in your own adoration of her which is merely a projection of your own fear of loss. 

To the degree that you see into you, paradoxically, you freely experience the space to see into another as your eyes are now grounded and outward to take in the light of the outside as you are now only kneeling to the light inside.

Imagine if you were blind, upon which light guides you?

Until then, you keep the world blind from seeing you because right now, that's what feels safe. 

Stay strong good sir @jacknine119.

[jacknine119]

@Leo Gura I’ll do that everyday Leo. Thk!!!

[jacknine119]

@AtmanIsBrahman I tried social affirmations couple weeks ago. But I felt it not just repeating and on that day I was one of the most confident. 

[jacknine119]

@Cubbage If you were me, which one thing would you do everyday to love yourself more? 

[Cubbage]

6 minutes ago, jacknine119 said:

@Cubbage If you were me, which one thing would you do everyday to love yourself more? 

Meditate everyday, take a psychedelic at some point to work through internal issues, consciously recognise positive qualities and notice limiting beliefs, perhaps read books that make you feel good about yourself (I like Teal Swan's perspectives on recognising your own self-worth and opening yourself up to connection) and generally just talking and expressing yourself to your close friends about how you feel. 

But, that's all set dressing, the real graft is socialising with women in the face of fear and actively doing outgoing stuff to expose yourself to wider varieties of girls to talk to. Perhaps enlist your confident mates to come out and observe their behaviour on nights out. Regardless though, the fear is not gonna solve itself unless it's faced head on.