A profound problem with consciousness work: realizing your own selfishness

[Spiritual Warrior]

A Profound Problem with Consciousness Work: Realizing your own Selfishness

What you will notice on your path towards Enlightenment or consciousness work in general is how selfish you truly are. This is a byproduct of the path. Before, you were not aware of the selfishness, you were blind to it, like an armadillo during the day time. 

I would like to give you an example: I am a ballroom dancer and we have these dance events in which we get paid for every "entry" that we dance with our students. One of my co workers had 7 more entries than me. This pissed me off, I thought to my self "how could she have more than me? I mean really, how?" I noticed this emotional trigger and kept digging, I wondered to myself, if my amount of entries stayed the same, but hers decreased significantly, would it make me feel better? And I am ashamed to admit that the the answer is yes, if she were less successful, I would feel better about myself and this is a person that on paper, I care about deeply. 

I mean what a fuckin' dick I am. I would rather this person be less successful so that I can simply feel better about my own success. I think that I'm this "highly developed person" yet I stoop to this level. I'm not ready to be a leader, not with this attitude. 

These are the growing pains and it is incredibly humbling. It puts into perspective how much farther there is to go to become a more tier two type of individual that is ready to truly lead others. 

"Sometimes its easy to forget that we spend most of our time stumbling around in the dark. Suddenly a light gets turned on and there is a fair share of blame to go around." - from the movie Spotlight

Namaste. 

Edited 9 hours ago by Spiritual Warrior

[enchanted]

That's a relatable story, good insight and great examples! Furthermore all bad moods, anger, and disappointment could be seen as a selfishness. When something doesn't work out the way we want but ignore all the good things we do have and others may never get, we are being selfish. 

[LastThursday]

I'd see it slightly differently. The real evil here is comparison not selfishness as such. We naturally compare ourselves to our peers, because that's the group we have most in common with, and how we measure our success. But it's not reasonable for a group of people to be identical, some will always be more advanced and some less so. This is what creates the friction. And from comparison comes judgement about ourselves and others and where we stand within the group.

Some will take the comparison and judgement and push themselves to improve their standing, some will moan and feel dejected and may even give up.