what if becoming more conscious makes you miserable

[Olaf]

What if becoming more conscious and aware doesn't actually add happiness, I feel that I was much happier being completly deluded in my spiritual ego then now becoming aware of all the bullshit that I believed in. Is evolution not to become happier instead of more miserable? Even when it is not fully conscious and aware, it might still be something that makes you happy. 

Edited 3 hours ago by Olaf

[Willy Phallicus]

Its a phase. 

Call it the dark night of the soul for consciousness.

Keep going and you will overcome all obstacles.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

If you do not also work on integration, grounding and embodiment as well as raising consciousness - in my experience - you are in for a bad time!

[cetus]

39 minutes ago, Olaf said:

I feel that I was much happier being completly deluded

It's like Scrapple. You enjoyed it more before you knew what it consisted of.

[Olaf]

@Natasha Tori Maru Leo doesn't even look happy...

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Just now, Olaf said:

@Natasha Tori Maru Leo doesn't even look happy...

I cannot speak for Leo - but if he is on a path of integration and working on conditioning? In my experience that is more emotionally challenging and confronting than raising consciousness alone. The most fucked up shit comes up. And you have to just deal. Squirm in place. You have to struggle. Find a way. And couple this with navigating survival. It has been my biggest challenge. Is my biggest challenge.

The process of working through conditioning often DOES simultaneously raise consciousness. 

It is always darkest before dawn. I have no regrets. As down as I got, it has been worth it. Peace, clarity and stability are wonderful <3

[Olaf]

@Natasha Tori Maru I wonder if we as humans are only supposed to get conscious to a certain level, a certain extend. Like what use does it have to become more and more conscious when it doesn't increasingly make us more and more happy and makes surviving harder. MAYBE we are meant to stay in the dark or am I the absolute devil for mentioning this. 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

19 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@Natasha Tori Maru I wonder if we as humans are only supposed to get conscious to a certain level, a certain extend. Like what use does it have to become more and more conscious when it doesn't increasingly make us more and more happy and makes surviving harder. MAYBE we are meant to stay in the dark or am I the absolute devil for mentioning this. 

For me - raising my consciousness has made my relationship to survival easier and less stressful. Not survival itself.

The mechanics, challenges and tribulations of survival remain the same. Raising my consciousness and awareness has benefited how I respond to survival pressure. How much I am thrown about by life. Life is. It goes. It isn't a race to the end. There is a measure of peace when a lot of seeking stops and we deeply, deeply accept and surrender to what is.

The friction generated by the small self dissolves as we realise truth. What IS - outside of concept, ideas, interpretation. This is where suffering arises from. And there is a reason why suffering is touted as the greatest teacher. Feelings are felt more truly. Thoughts are clearer. And they pass more rapidly and are experienced with more depth.

There is what is happening separate from: perception - interpretation/conceptualisation - identification/resistance. These additions we generate lead to suffering. These additions need to be totally deconstructed. That's the work of awareness helping integration and conditioning..

Recognising what IS. What is truth - helps to make this distinction (between what we generate, and what is).

And raising your consciousness is recognising and becoming aware of Truth.

I don't know if this helps. It is just what came out  

Edited 1 hour ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[Olaf]

@Natasha Tori Maru I think it might be the place I am in now. When I was younger I was super ambitious about building a spiritual community and doing things around conscious work for others and the world. But then I started to realise how that isn't good for humanity because most of it leads to spiritual bypassing and away from focusing on what we need to focus on, which is survival, not enlightenment.

It made me feel completly demotivated to start something like that. It was my greatest joy to see a community like that being build, I could already envision it in my mind everyday, but now I see this as completly useless, because no matter how spiritual someone is, if they can't function in society what is the use in encouraging that growth? Besides that there are guru's being exposed and many of these guru's I no longer trust at all. 

The reason I resonate with this forum more is because it truely gets to the depth of the issue, both dating, health, life purpose, work, everything not just spirituality, a wholesome approach towards life.

I want to lead people on the right path for them that leads to happiness, not to being spiritually broke in a camper van. I think that helping men for real with either money or dating would be somewhat fulfilling, but I am still trying to figure that myself out, because that would actually help their life and after that maybe do some spiritual work.

So that has been the hardest for me, my motivation and purpose in my life, the dream I had being crushed by becoming more conscious of the effects it would have on humans. I then became a magician, which was fun for sometime, I thought about sharing my light through an art instead of directly through spiritual teachings, let my energy speak. Now I am rediscovering my purpose, I don't know yet what it is gonna be and I feel if I just stayed in the delusion of mainstream spirituality, I would have been happier and more successful. 

Edited 1 hour ago by Olaf

[Joseph Maynor]

In my experience it leads to more peace not necessarily happiness.  

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Olaf I went through a similar process.

It sounds like you are describing a collapse of an identity-level purpose structure.

[Olaf]

@Natasha Tori Maru how did that go for you?

[Natasha Tori Maru]

13 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@Natasha Tori Maru how did that go for you?

Best thing I ever did. No regrets (not going the lie, the process was difficult). 

The difficulty for me was I had no set duration, path or outcome. I just had to dive in. 

On the other side I am much more aligned and congruent across the board. I make better decisions. I am more authentic. Confident. Peaceful.

Happiness becomes redefined in a way. Peace becomes it.

Lots of pleasure seeking stopped.

It was like ripping up the dodgy under-engineered foundation of my building and demolishing the whole thing. Then rebuilding with proper footing, rebar and structure. I can build, extend and have more load bearing capacity for life's troubles with this new building. But it is disillusioning when you are in the middle of the process. With nothing but rubble and destruction around you  

Edited 48 minutes ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[Jirh]

It's a bell curve.

[Joseph Maynor]

The dark night of the soul can be painful, but you are also aware you are growing if you have support.