the real value of a men

[Olaf]

I was thinking today about the real value of a men and I came with these things:

1. Grounded, being grounded makes the woman feel like she can relax and feel safe

2. Fun, lets be for real, we men can be super fun and do stupid shit, this is very valuable to woman as they are simply bored, I mean who isn't

3. Vunerability, if you are able to be vunerable, she can be vunerable with you, at the end what is intimacy without vunerability?

4. Congruence, biggest thing Zenterus taught me, to drop the front and just be as you are

5. Presence, kind of similar to congruence, just being there, present, available, this isn't boring, it is energy

6. self worth, feeling worthy instead of trying to seek approval (not begging but attracting)

These are the biggest 6 things I am certain about, there is probably much more, but I only wanted to write down the ones that I am very certain about to be valuable in men to woman, but even in general. 

Edited Monday at 05:09 PM by Olaf

[Ulax]

There is no general sense of value, only value relative to things/ organisms

[Olaf]

@Ulax I probably should have phrased it better "character traits that are valuable" 

[enchanted]

Their love of power. Power has many benefits.

Their love of knowledge. Knowledge is power after all. 

Another one is male disobedience. There are a lot benefits of breaking the rules.

Women of course love this in men and they benefit from the greed and risk-taking that their counterparts do. So do the offspring.

Edited yesterday at 12:59 AM by enchanted

[enchanted]

4 hours ago, Ulax said:

There is no general sense of value, only value relative to things/ organisms

Yeah but you're a thing/organism right? 

[Olaf]

@enchanted don't objectify him 

[Ulax]

1 hour ago, enchanted said:

Yeah but you're a thing/organism right? 

Correct

[Ulax]

1 hour ago, Olaf said:

@enchanted don't objectify him 

[LordFall]

I'm gonna bring the idea into your thread too but I'll say that the main purpose of a man is to solve problems. Anything you listed without problem solving skills is quite useless. Someone man that knows how to have fun but not consistently solve problems is either a man child or on drugs or in the process of fucking up his life. Groundedness I will relate to keeping cool under pressure and being able to solve problems even when complications occur. The rest are secondary traits that will help elevate your existence in the world but through your main purpose of problem solving. 

Men that don't learn to solve deep problems often will end up more likely broke and discarded by their peers as they become more and more of a hindrance to keep around. I unfortunately know some people like this that I remember fondly from the past but they haven't learned how to solve their own life problems and they've started to create some for me when I invite them to events or even group chats. 

[Schizophonia]

Value for who ? 

[Joseph Maynor]

The Masculine has a confidence in the individual.  Gender is not synonymous with this.  You can be very Masculine as a female.  

[LordFall]

14 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Value for who ? 

Value is pretty universal so in a dating context it means for women if you're a straight man and to society in terms of your relationship to the overall world. If you don't solve problems for others, you will be mostly useless to society and women. 

[Schizophonia]

Just now, LordFall said:

for women 

👍

[Olaf]

@Joseph Maynor and that is also why woman can be attracted to woman

[enchanted]

2 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:

The Masculine has a confidence in the individual.  Gender is not synonymous with this.  You can be very Masculine as a female.  

Controversial take but I consider it sexist to say that if a woman is confident she is acting masculine. And similarly when we call a man feminine when we say he is caring. If we want more confident and caring  people in society than we can't brand confidence as a male thing and caring as a female thing. This will discourage women and men from being confident/caring  and thus harm them and society in the process. 

[Olaf]

@enchanted Yet how the world reacts to that tells us different. The world reacts different to our energy. No woman will take a guy in a dress seriously. Same way no woman will take a guy who is very feminine seriously. I might be the only guy that finds confident woman fun, because they have banter and aren't so boring, but that doesn't mean she hasn't very masculine energy. Why do woman have problem with acknowledging masculine traits, while men can just say to a guy when he is being a bitch? Men are just more honest about it when they are being a bitch and the woman will let him know aswell all the time. We should also let woman know when they are being masculine so they are atleast aware of it, then do with that information what you want. Lesbian woman are not trying to be feminine, so her being more masculine will only help her attract more girls, it is just about being aware of it, not good or bad.

[enchanted]

14 hours ago, Olaf said:

@enchanted Yet how the world reacts to that tells us different. The world reacts different to our energy. No woman will take a guy in a dress seriously. Same way no woman will take a guy who is very feminine seriously. I might be the only guy that finds confident woman fun, because they have banter and aren't so boring, but that doesn't mean she hasn't very masculine energy. Why do woman have problem with acknowledging masculine traits, while men can just say to a guy when he is being a bitch? Men are just more honest about it when they are being a bitch and the woman will let him know aswell all the time. We should also let woman know when they are being masculine so they are atleast aware of it, then do with that information what you want. Lesbian woman are not trying to be feminine, so her being more masculine will only help her attract more girls, it is just about being aware of it, not good or bad.

In a culture where men wear dresses, women would indeed find it attractive (Scotland for example). Even if some of what you say is true I have a problem with the labelling. Just like the labelling of male and feminine objects in the romance languages is problematic. And also that English doesn't have a gender neutral from of "he him his" like some languages do. 

Just like a table is neither masculine or feminine, neither is confidence. 

[Olaf]

@enchanted you say you have troubling with the labeling, but then if a men acts all feminine no woman will want him, this is just a fact. If men were in more abundance, they wouldn't want a woman who is very masculine either, the thing is that men are not in abundance so they settle and woman start to feel it is okay to be very masculine as they get away with it, unlike men. Does it mean there are exceptions to these? Sure, you have trans woman, trans men, gay, bi, whatever in between, but even in those relationships one is more masculine and the other more feminine. 

[enchanted]

4 hours ago, Olaf said:

@enchanted you say you have troubling with the labeling, but then if a men acts all feminine no woman will want him, this is just a fact. If men were in more abundance, they wouldn't want a woman who is very masculine either, the thing is that men are not in abundance so they settle and woman start to feel it is okay to be very masculine as they get away with it, unlike men. Does it mean there are exceptions to these? Sure, you have trans woman, trans men, gay, bi, whatever in between, but even in those relationships one is more masculine and the other more feminine. 

Ok, I'll think on this some more, thanks for the dialogue and the perspective