Shit tests and compliance

[Spiral]

@something_else I agree with you however that I do find shit tests rude, even if I don’t get flustered, frustrated or offended. 

[AION]

Answer to shit test is not always being sarcastic. You are not a clown. Sometimes it is just bouncing it back or amplify  or call her out on it. 

Edited 3 hours ago by AION

[AION]

1 hour ago, Someone here said:

What is shit test ?

It is when you shit on a strip and they test your shit. 

[Jirh]

1 hour ago, Someone here said:

What is shit test ?

It's when someone pushes your boundaries to test your desperation. It's a passive aggressive way of assessing your real values and valuing you. And it's often done unconsciously and by women to men. But most people do it all the time. It's a form of unhealthy negotiation.

[Someone here]

34 minutes ago, Jirh said:

It's when someone pushes your boundaries to test your desperation. It's a passive aggressive way of assessing your real values and valuing you. And it's often done unconsciously and by women to men. But most people do it all the time. It's a form of unhealthy negotiation.

So it’s a term insecure guys came up with ? Not something women do consciously?

[Jirh]

14 minutes ago, Someone here said:

So it’s a term insecure guys came up with ? Not something women do consciously?

No. It's a real phenomenon unrelated to insecurity. And whether it's done consciously or not does not diminish it or minimize its effects.

It would help to be aware of it when it's being done to you. That awareness is part of social skills.

[Someone here]

6 minutes ago, Jirh said:

And whether it's done consciously or not does not diminish it or minimize its effects.

How so? There’s a difference between a girl intentionally playing games or doing things to test your confidence and value, versus you simply overthinking the situation and it all being in your head as the guy.

 

[something_else]

12 minutes ago, Jirh said:

No. It's a real phenomenon unrelated to insecurity. And whether it's done consciously or not does not diminish it or minimize its effects.

It would help to be aware of it when it's being done to you.

I find it hard to tell where pickup theory draws the line between a “shit test” and:

1. Playful teasing
2. Rejection
3. Actually insulting you

I’ve experienced the first a lot, but that just seems like normal flirting. It also doesn’t really seem to be what people mean by a shit test. The second and third, though, often seem to get folded into the concept.

If a woman rejects me, I’m not going to keep pursuing because “she’s subconsciously testing me.” Even if that were true, I don’t want to engage with that kind of game when there are plenty of women who don’t do it.

Same with outright insults. Why interpret hostility as hidden interest when I can spend my time on women who are clearly interested and enjoyable to be around?

Quote

It's a real phenomenon unrelated to insecurity.

My theory is that “shit tests” mostly exist in the context of cold approach. Women understandably have a defensive response to random men approaching them while they're going about their day, and handling that response well can sometimes build attraction. But that makes the behaviour more a product of the way you’re meeting women than some pervasive female tendency.

I’ve never really experienced it at all meeting women through friends, parties, night clubs, or dating apps.

 

Edited 30 minutes ago by something_else

[AION]

guys shit test each other too though...  

[Someone here]

@AION I think it’s an unnecessary concept for dating skills .