Need Pointers to get back into the DREAM.

[Maheshwar]

 

I had studied philosophy seriously, contemplated and meditated, spent time in nature almost daily since the past 10 years. And I can intellectually understand the layers of the nature of existence at pretty depths ( from non duality to godels theorem to Ken Wilbers - Integral psychology -  to various layers of meditations). So I can reach some pretty intense states if needed and to an extent experience elevated states of consciousness almost all all the time (like the kundalini/subtle energies (to a certain level) almost all the time).

Now I feel severely alienated. I'm 30 and have literally no one, no money, stuck in India which is a poor country and filled with extreme right wing mythic idealogies. However I'm working on my own startup since the past 4 years and the progress is seemingly good though I haven't started the actual business and still working on the prototype only. However because of severe stress extreme degree of alienation I stopped working on it since the past few months. I want to fix this first. And also the work is purely technical which within the 4 walls. Im trying to socialize but the sort of alienation to the  darkness in me makes them run away. And then more importantly than them running away, I have literally nothing to speak about in the first place, no happening and no content to the very life.

I help my father with his business, but that feels again pretty incomplete.

So in one sentence I feel like I'm living in solitary confinment or in mars, completely alienated and the head is also overloaded.

 And no matter what I do, nothing seems like helping me to merge back into the dream.

And can anyone please give me some pointers to get back into the dream.

 

Some of pointers to get back into the dream that I found but still am not finding it very helpful- Being in the Now, No - Mind, There's no ultimate truth/meaning or meditation.

Edited Thursday at 04:02 PM by Maheshwar

[enchanted]

Plenty of excersize, balanced diet, consistent sleep

[Maheshwar]

Thank You. 

[Terell Kirby]

On 9/10/2026 at 11:58 AM, Maheshwar said:

I'm 30 and have literally no one, no money, stuck in India which is a poor country and filled with extreme right wing mythic idealogies.

I'm sorry :-(

Hope it works out, lean into this community to keep yourself going.

Awakening will be there once your base needs are taken care of. Good luck

[Mu_]

Im confused with the words you used.  Do you want to go back into the dream of daily life or are you using the word dream to mean go back into spiritual experiences?

[Human Mint]

You could benefit from a professional like therapist.

[Someone here]

Go to sleep.

[Maheshwar]

 

2 hours ago, Someone here said:

Go to sleep.

Isn't sleep something that is supposed to come to you? Like you can't force yourself into sleeping or do you mean just sleep consciously even if you aren't getting any?? (Like I'm having trouble sleeping also again).
.

14 hours ago, Mu_ said:

Im confused with the words you used.  Do you want to go back into the dream of daily life or are you using the word dream to mean go back into spiritual experiences?

Yes, I got the point that the way up is the way down (base needs). So I'm focusing on Dads Business to get the financial security. However this feels pretty incomplete.

So I am taking about getting back into the dream of daily life (not spiritual experiences).

.
So let me bring an example that I noticed which is Mindfulness. And I am talking about a type of mindfulness meditation that’s thought in the book "A Million Thoughts - Om Swami". Where the practice goes as following: you allow yourself get a thought. And now you affirm that very thought  in the present continuous tense. And then bring attention onto the emptiness of that thought.  And when it comes to how get a thought, what he says is something on these lines: "when you let go the need to think or bring a thought, you'll get the thoughts".

Also ultimately thoughts do come from nothingness. Here's a quote "For thought, KÄÅ›yapa, cannot be apprehended, inside or outside, or in between both. For thought is immaterial, invisible, non-resisting, inconceivable, unsupported and homeless. Thought has never been seen by any of the Buddhas, nor do they see it, nor will they see it. . . . A thought is like the stream of a river, without any staying power; as soon as it is produced it breaks up and disappears. . . . A thought is like lightning, it breaks up in a moment and does not stay on. . . ."

So when I sit and try to practice mindfulness. I try doing it but no matter how much try I barely get any thoughts. Even after following this "when you let go the need to think or bring a thought, you'll get the thoughts" and all the other instructions presented, I usually don't get any thoughts. And instead of getting the thoughts, it becomes more and more silent to me. The degree of silence where probably it takes decades of meditative practices to hold on to that degree of silence, so obviously it becomes extremely overloaded and hits my head. Instead of getting any thoughts.

And on the other extremity in a sense I can reach some deep states, for example I hold onto to a particular mudra and can clearly feel the energy moving to the respective location in my body of that mudra. I switch to some other mudra and can clearly notice the movement of the energies to the new location in the body. But then I cannot do a simple meditation like mindfulness. In fact mindfulness should be relatively an easier meditation, like it doesn't deal with anything like concentrating on the third-eye or at some location to the concentration on nothingness (which are relatively advanced).

Another deeper observation that I made (hard to describe, but I am trying describe it as much as can) is obviously I do have this drive to get the thoughts. But then the feeling as a whole of most of the thoughts that I get seem to be very incomplete. Like when I feel into these thoughts - and the energy or the state that they carry -  mostly it feels like I keep getting stuck in the head instead of this energy flowing all across my body and have a sense of completion.

This clearly allows me to notice how alienated, empty and stuck am I really. And hence how away am I from my dream really. Because thoughts generally speaking for a normal person who is living on the auto-pilot, for them they run like a machine gun.

And for this particular context, to put things simple and suitable for me, I would say a thought is the duality or the end expression of the your dream/your world/an happening that touches the I or the self. So thoughts are coming from here for this particular context. (Even though ideally or ultimately they would be coming from the nothingness or the void and the unconscious).

 

So this is what I am talking about, any suggestions on the pointers to get back into the ones dream/ones world/ones happening/bringing out a sense of you/ to building an identity of yourself. so at end of the day, before I sleep, there's a healthy flow of thought within me.

Edited Saturday at 02:34 PM by Maheshwar

[Someone here]

@Maheshwar which “dream” you want to go back to ?

[Maheshwar]

I need some time to answer this, kindly!!

[Human Mint]

You need to be told the harsh truths upfront.

Otherwise you'll be blind to your own bs.

[VeganAwake]

Unfortunately you can't unsee what you've seen.........but you can fake it 🤷‍♂️

[Maheshwar]

17 hours ago, Someone here said:

@Maheshwar which “dream” you want to go back to ?

Isn't that the very question that I am asking about??? currently, literally anything that could bring out the balance!!

 

9 hours ago, Human Mint said:

You need to be told the harsh truths upfront.

Otherwise you'll be blind to your own bs.

I pulled this move man, I told earlier """I spent years studying philosophy,  contemplated and meditated, spent time in nature almost daily since the past 10 years....""" and then finally realised & recognized that the way up is the way down. So stopped doing all the above (which was years of work). Then worked on my start-up for close to 4 years (various reasons to circumstances). But still decided to stop it again because its screwing me (severly isolating). So putting away a decade of work takes a lot of sacrifice & being hard with yourself, in your terms "being harsh" or "harsh truths".


But when things happen such that where the balance in you is seriously gone. Like I'm unable to do a simple meditation like mindfulness but then move kundalini energies across my body and be aware of it. (So in a sense, body became quite sensitive on one side while deprived on the other side). And nothing seem to work out. It becomes difficult (or could go soft also) to solve it... anyways it becomes quite complicated to figure it out. 

So what's so blind? and what's so bs about what I told?? And it makes me wonder how much of sense do you have over this..

3 hours ago, VeganAwake said:

Unfortunately you can't unsee what you've seen.........but you can fake it 🤷‍♂️

Hmm!!! Thanxx

Edited yesterday at 08:41 AM by Maheshwar

[Human Mint]

@Maheshwar I was saying more in the sense that someone that knows you can point things to you that makes you reflect. 

From what you say I can only make hypothesis. 

I'm sorry for what you're going through. 

 

 

 

[cetus]

@Maheshwar You say you want to get back into the dream. But from reading your story, what I'm hearing is you're not happy with the way your life is going.

Do you want to get back into the dream so you can be content with the life you live now?

Or is the life you live now the problem regardless of whether you see it as a dream or not?

I could understand if you said something like, "everything in life is going perfectly but I'm not content because I know it's all just a dream". And you want to get back into the dream so you can enjoy it all. 

But that's not the case. So, it seems you need to figure out what the real issue is. 

If everything was going perfectly, would you still be dissatisfied if you knew it was all just a dream?

[Maheshwar]

@cetus "You say you want to get back into the dream. But from reading your story, what I'm hearing is you're not happy with the way your life is going." True. 
.
Do you want to get back into the dream so you can be content with the life you live now?
Or is the life you live now the problem regardless of whether you see it as a dream or not?

I would say both ways pretty much. Again I'll bring some examples. 

So I'll just bring the initial sentences that I alredy spoke about, and then make an continuation to it, so things will be more clear. 

On 9/12/2026 at 8:00 PM, Maheshwar said:

So let me bring an example that I noticed which is Mindfulness. And I am talking about a type of mindfulness meditation that’s thought in the book "A Million Thoughts - Om Swami". Where the practice goes as following: you allow yourself get a thought. And now you affirm that very thought  in the present continuous tense. And then bring attention onto the emptiness of that thought.  And when it comes to how get a thought, what he says is something on these lines: "when you let go the need to think or bring a thought, you'll get the thoughts".

Also ultimately thoughts do come from nothingness. Here's a quote "For thought, KÄÅ›yapa, cannot be apprehended, inside or outside, or in between both. For thought is immaterial, invisible, non-resisting, inconceivable, unsupported and homeless. Thought has never been seen by any of the Buddhas, nor do they see it, nor will they see it. . . . A thought is like the stream of a river, without any staying power; as soon as it is produced it breaks up and disappears. . . . A thought is like lightning, it breaks up in a moment and does not stay on. . . ."

So when I sit and try to practice mindfulness. I try doing it but no matter how much try I barely get any thoughts. Even after following this "when you let go the need to think or bring a thought, you'll get the thoughts" and all the other instructions presented, I usually don't get any thoughts. And instead of getting the thoughts, it becomes more and more silent to me. The degree of silence where probably it takes decades of meditative practices to hold on to that degree of silence, so obviously it becomes extremely overloaded and hits my head. Instead of getting any thoughts.

And on the other extremity in a sense I can reach some deep states, for example I hold onto to a particular mudra and can clearly feel the energy moving to the respective location in my body of that mudra. I switch to some other mudra and can clearly notice the movement of the energies to the new location in the body. But then I cannot do a simple meditation like mindfulness. In fact mindfulness should be relatively an easier meditation, like it doesn't deal with anything like concentrating on the third-eye or at some location to the concentration on nothingness (which are relatively advanced).

Another deeper observation that I made (hard to describe, but I am trying describe it as much as can) is obviously I do have this drive to get the thoughts. But then the feeling as a whole of most of the thoughts that I get seem to be very incomplete. Like when I feel into these thoughts - and the energy or the state that they carry -  mostly it feels like I keep getting stuck in the head instead of this energy flowing all across my body and have a sense of completion.

This clearly allows me to notice how alienated, empty and stuck am I really. And hence how away am I from my dream really. Because thoughts generally speaking for a normal person who is living on the auto-pilot, for them they run like a machine gun. And the reason being he is in this auto-pilot mode because he in sync with dream. 

So for this particular context, to put things simple and suitable for me, I would say a thought is the duality or the end expression of the your dream/your world/an happening that touches the I or the self. So thoughts are coming from here for this particular context. -- The way it happens for a normal person to basic developmental growth (the way up is the way down) -- (Even though ideally or ultimately they would be coming from the nothingness or the void and the unconscious).

 

.
So one conclusion in one sense the balance in you is seriously gone. Like I'm unable to do a simple meditation like mindfulness (barely get any thoughts which are required to bring upon for this meditation) but then move kundalini energies across my body and be aware of it. (So in a sense, body became quite sensitive on one side while deprived on the other side).
And the second conclusion is I'm unable to do mindfulness because life turned out to be quite empty and very alientated because I'm out of sync with the dream. 
...
And third point is I actually I did loads and loads of exploration to get in touch, in sync with the dream. But no matter what I do none feels like I figured it out. 
Stayed in himalayas for 3 months, Tried repairing small vehicles, Drawing- I did these and I feel my head overloaded. 

Then I did 6 months of documentary filming course  --- especially this one because documentary filiming course is about capturing truth, but then what I realized after doing this is, the truth that you capture should satifsy your ego (not in a negative sense), at least at the lower stages, like for example why I care about the story of some total random guy?? So its about capturing your world --- Anyways this is one place where I felt closer to the dream than most of the other activites, because it felt like a very grounded expression of the world to directly witness the actuality, but then there's much you in here  --- Even now I get thoughts related to this activity.  However my legs ache a lot when I do this. (My legs ache even when I do a simple activity like walking).

Reading archival materials & stories --- This time it hits the head.  

Then I stayed in AUROVILLE for 3 months, It's a 16.sq.km experimental township founded by Sri Aurobindo & Mother - 1930s enlightended Gurus. People from 75 countries stay here currently and are permenant members. Feels like you are living in a forest, place is very alive, feels like you are healing, but has type of Aura that feels quite good to me. Also Sri Aurobindo & Mother literally call that 'AUROVILLE' is a dream. There are many types of voluntary activties in here but then I haven't tried any. Just stayed there for 2 months & felt closer to dream than most other activities. 

I socialize but doesn't work much because its like I have nothing much to speak about, already spent lots and lots of time in nature. 

And when it comes yoga and meditations, since even mindfulness is becoming quite difficult, I'll have to go to much more lower hierachies and basically this'll lead to yoga asanas related to root chakras. Surya Namaskar feels quite helpful, Jnana mudra seems to calm the head to few active meditations. These asanas of yoga do feel helpful. But it feels none of them are able to solve the problem of alienation (And I can even feel the aura and it is actually black in colour).

Anyways most of thing that I mentioned above were indeed helpful, but none feels like the are actually solving the core problem. (First foremost Alienation & lack of healthy flow of thoughts then overload in the head or ache in the legs).
...
Nothing seems like working at the core. Most solutions feel partial. That's is why I said  it becomes quite complicated to figure it out earlier. Though I am looking out for more things to explore. Thinking of doing voluntary farming in AUROVILLE, making chocolates, to practicing few Sadguru meditations that for some reason feels like right to me. Looking for therapists who can deal with these things. So lets see where it goes. 

Anyways, So Third conclusion would be I'm unable to get in snyc with this dream because of imbalance to engertic overloads & alienation with in me, and the way to solve it, is to figure out exactly where the balanced layer/balanced state is present at and then find the expression of that state (dream). So I can be in content with life. (@cetus )  

So if anyone has any suggesstion, pointers to similar challenge that they solved, they can present it out which would be insightful!!!

 

Edited 1 hour ago by Maheshwar