I want to hear a womans opinion

[Emerald]

27 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@Emerald 2005 damn I was 6 years old. It sounds like you're still in love with him. I guess social circle really works then. Its so much work to create a new social circle, but maybe it is worth it. 

I was never interested in Randy that way personally. He's just not my type, as I prefer more introverted guys... as that fits my energy more.

But he was always an impressive and high-vibe person in my eyes who had a massive amount of abundance dating-wise without being skeezy to get it. And it was clear to me why he was very well sought after.

I bring him up because he's a great example to aspire to for guys who want to build abundance (which is why a lot of guys do pick-up).

But I definitely recommend cultivating a social circle. And dating is just one of many perks of having a great social eco-system.

Edited 5 hours ago by Emerald

[Joshe]

14 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

In a social circle like she is depicting, you are dammed if you do and dammed if you don't.  If you're the cool guy, you're an asshole.

Nah. If you're the cool guy, then you're literally the cool guy who everyone likes. 

You know how Leo talks about "play"? Well, that's what it's like, except in a social group. But here, the "play" isn't designed to get laid. It's for fun. And when women and entire groups of people love being around you, romantic relationships flow easily from that. So, you can be a dork, but you still have to be interesting and put yourself out there. If it doesn't come very natural, that just means you have to calibrate more.

A good example of this is Dexter Morgan. Awkward mf. Not the life of the party but interesting and socializes. Has women in his inner circle. Gets mad puss.

Edited 5 hours ago by Joshe

[Olaf]

@Joshe yeah, your status just gets improved by social proof if your a cool sociable guy that works really well. And the opposite is also true you can easily lose status in the group and be seen as the guy who wasn't really invited to the party hahahahaha its the same when you go out, if you don't talk to anyone in a club environment, you literally lose so much status in that environment for that night that it becomes hard to open any conversation. 

[Inliytened1]

4 minutes ago, Joshe said:

Nah. If you're the cool guy, then you're literally the cool guy who everyone likes. 

 

 

Well apparently everyone "liked" the bad cool guy because they slept with him.  He just slept with multiple women.

[Inliytened1]

@Joshe the point i think is that as you grow older this means less and less. It's really whether or not you develop into a Randy.  The Randy guy had it right but he also had the looks and talk to go with it.  We all don't have these attributes so as we age it is not going to matter about social circles.  You are just going to need to be yourself. And if that isn't good enough.  Well. Then a woman needs to take another look.  They will lower their standards when it comes to looks eventually but it takes women mostly until they reach 45 or so to lower all the physical standards .

Edited 5 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Olaf]

@Emerald yes, but I was just thinking about how this probably won't work for me, because I am very specific in what I want in a woman, and some random friend group probably doesn't have the friend in it that I want to have a relationship with, even if I have 5 friend groups, unless I happen to be very lucky. I do think it could work well for others who are looking for something more common. Alternatively, I could have a mixed friend group and invite woman I am interested in, to become part of my friendgroup: that would be the only way I can see this working. 

[Joshe]

7 minutes ago, Olaf said:

if you don't talk to anyone in a club environment, you literally lose so much status in that environment for that night that it becomes hard to open any conversation. 

Why not just put your effort into making friends at the clubs first? and once everyone likes you, you can walk in and never have to deal with that problem? Seems a lot easier. 

When a dude walks into a club, the most likely reason why he's there is because he's on the prowl, and everyone knows it. So, it's not simply that talking to people makes it look like you have friends which raises your status. It's more so that it shields you from that perception that you're an asshole on the prowl and trying to manipulate people. 

I think this is an important concept: 

"Psychological reactance

The core idea is that people have a baseline motivation to protect their sense of behavioral freedom. When they perceive that freedom being threatened or eliminated — even by a well-intentioned suggestion — they experience an aversive arousal state (reactance) that motivates them to restore the freedom, often by doing the opposite of what's being pushed, or by wanting the forbidden thing more.

The kid-and-veggies example is textbook. "Eat your broccoli" converts broccoli from a neutral option into a compliance demand, so refusing becomes the way to reassert autonomy. Serve the broccoli without commentary and the freedom-threat never registers, so there's nothing to push against. The food itself was never really the variable.

The moment a woman detects that an interaction has an agenda — that she's being worked — the frame shifts from "conversation" to "compliance attempt," and reactance fires. Her attention goes from evaluating the guy to defending her autonomy against the extraction attempt. That's a losing position regardless of how polished the technique is, because the technique itself is the freedom threat."

Natural socializing removes this barrier. When 10 other people feel safe around you, that's evidence she can too. 

 

 

 

[Joshe]

15 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

@Joshe the point i think is that as you grow older this means less and less. It's really whether or not you develop into a Randy.  The Randy guy had it right but he also had the looks and talk to go with it.  We all don't have these attributes so as we age it is not going to matter about social circles.  You are just going to need to be yourself. And if that isn't good enough.  Well. Then a woman needs to take another look.  They will lower their standards when it comes to looks eventually but it takes women mostly until they reach 45 or so to lower all the physical standards .

I think if you want women to flow abundantly, it matters at any age. And Randy never "developed". So the thing isn't to develop into Randy. It's to learn to be yourself and calibrate where necessary. You may never be cooler than Randy, but you don't need to be. 

Of course, you don't need a social circle to get a woman. You could pick one up at the dog park. There are plenty of women out there looking for men. You just have to put yourself around them and strike up convo at some point. Dog park isn't bad actually, especially if you have a boy dog trying to hump hers, lol. Good icebreaker. 

[Inliytened1]

26 minutes ago, Joshe said:

I think if you want women to flow abundantly, it matters at any age. And Randy never "developed". So the thing isn't to develop into Randy. It's to learn to be yourself and calibrate where necessary. You may never be cooler than Randy, but you don't need to be. 

Of course, you don't need a social circle to get a woman. You could pick one up at the dog park. There are plenty of women out there looking for men. You just have to put yourself around them and strike up convo at some point. Dog park isn't bad actually, especially if you have a boy dog trying to hump hers, lol. Good icebreaker. 

Not only isn't the dog park bad, it's one if the best spots there are, great call!.  This would have been useful in my other thread.  And I was also getting to LA Fitness parking lots after that Chruch parking lot post.  But serious this one is the best! I had two huskies and believe you me the women flowed. Now I have a beast of a German shepherd and I can't even take him to the park without a muzzle.  It scares women off.  But the best was when my husky got In a scuffle with a girl's husky and I grabbed her number after.  And no, it wasn't for the hospital bill. 😀

Edited 4 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Olaf]

@Joshe yes this is true, often times I go into the interaction with an agenda I get turned off by the woman and I lose my agenda or interest and now she is confused hahaha to do something completly free from outcome is best, but sometimes can also lead towards nothing at all. 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

 I choose to answer this from the frame I am being "cold approached" as opposed to some sort of courtship attraction phase - like a dude is shooting his shot

I just like humor and wit, initially. If someone can make me personally laugh, they need to have some sort of sharp intellect generally. I use humor as a proxy for a sharp mind. I won't date someone who cannot keep up with me. So if a dude approaches me and is able to induce laughter from me it's a big win! Don't bring me your ego or arrogance. Confidence I am cool with. You will transmit these sorts of things subconsciously through body language, movement, tone, intonation and facial expressions - women will generally respond to these signals first.

Other than that, I am not the sort of women to be irritated by being approached. I don't treat men who approach me as some sort of inconvenience or disturbance. They are just a human seeking connection. Often, I'll reject an approach and give them some of my honest feedback - mostly that I admire the testicle, haha (especially when a guy is visibly nervous). However, I get a body language, tone and expression read very quickly. I won't give a compliment to an egotistical dickhead who has an attitude like he is Gods gift to women. I'll just turn him down, dismiss and move on. 

I still get approached daily. Younger dudes and older. I have the sort of face and appearance that seems to project approachability. There must also be something in the way I hold myself or dress, because I can count maybe 2 or 3 times in my life I was objectified to the extent it was offensive. I won't always be approached like this - I am 40 now. Soon it will end! Or maybe not, who knows. 

[Inliytened1]

18 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

 I choose to answer this from the frame I am being "cold approached" as opposed to some sort of courtship attraction phase - like a dude is shooting his shot

I just like humor and wit, initially. If someone can make me personally laugh, they need to have some sort of sharp intellect generally. I use humor as a proxy for a sharp mind. I won't date someone who cannot keep up with me. So if a dude approaches me and is able to induce laughter from me it's a big win! Don't bring me your ego or arrogance. Confidence I am cool with. You will transmit these sorts of things subconsciously through body language, movement, tone, intonation and facial expressions - women will generally respond to these signals first.

Other than that, I am not the sort of women to be irritated by being approached. I don't treat men who approach me as some sort of inconvenience or disturbance. They are just a human seeking connection. Often, I'll reject an approach and give them some of my honest feedback - mostly that I admire the testicle, haha (especially when a guy is visibly nervous). However, I get a body language, tone and expression read very quickly. I won't give a compliment to an egotistical dickhead who has an attitude like he is Gods gift to women. I'll just turn him down, dismiss and move on. 

I still get approached daily. Younger dudes and older. I have the sort of face and appearance that seems to project approachability. There must also be something in the way I hold myself or dress, because I can count maybe 2 or 3 times in my life I was objectified to the extent it was offensive. I won't always be approached like this - I am 40 now. Soon it will end! Or maybe not, who knows. 

We thought the roosters got you.

[Olaf]

@Natasha Tori Maru wow getting approached daily is crazy. When I go out I get approached by guys too hahaha but woman approach men barely I guess, which is logical. Yes, humor seems to be big, but if you get approached that much, you probably are kinda sick of it.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 minute ago, Olaf said:

@Natasha Tori Maru wow getting approached daily is crazy. When I go out I get approached by guys too hahaha but woman approach men barely I guess, which is logical. Yes, humor seems to be big, but if you get approached that much, you probably are kinda sick of it.

It's the nature of my work and the spaces I frequent. City centres, medical facilities etc. I am engaged in the social realm a lot. Some of these approaches maybe aren't it though, as some guys are just wanting to chat. It's just that... Well. I know men. Sometimes they aren't overt - but they wouldn't say no if the opportunity arose. 

One day I won't even get a glance from dudes. And that's cool. That's life! I don't put much value in how I look, because I didn't earn it. I just got some good rng genetics.

I approach men too. I am pretty direct for a woman. I also get approached my women on occasion.

[Inliytened1]

@Natasha Tori Maru r u gonna stay mad at me. I'm just a dude with a dick.

[Joshe]

1 minute ago, Inliytened1 said:

@Natasha Tori Maru r u gonna stay mad at me. I'm just a dude with a dick.

Lol, you're a fuckin trip bro. You and those pet roosters. 

[Inliytened1]

2 minutes ago, Joshe said:

Lol, you're a fuckin trip bro. You and those pet roosters. 

I ain't in the dog park anymore. I'm in the dog house.

[Joshe]

😂

[Joshe]

 

[Inliytened1]

1 minute ago, Joshe said:

 

This is the best drunk song at the bar haha