Assertiveness/Red development

[niko123]

Hey all. 

Over the past years I have noticed that my assertiveness is lacking. I went through therapy, set my goals, found my values - it has tremendously helped me to see reality as is, also in this endevor.

Lately one of my core values were harshly challanged (I am intentionally vauge here), and even though in the last years I grew alot, I still couldn't handle it and resorted to retreat. Like in Elden Ring, I thought I had what it takes to beat a boss, but I lost. 

I am treating this as an excellent growth opportunity and learning experience, to sharpen my assertiveness and learn how to use force when needed.

In spiral dynamics lingo, I could say my Red development is lacking and is not integrated well.

The thing is I don't know how to approach this behavior change well. Situations that are as challenging as the recent one are rare, and so they don't provide a repetition neccessary for changing a pattern.

I've come up with a few ways, and am executing them:

- keeping my word

- competetiveness in sports, going 110% when playing against someone

- challenging myself in the gym, going to failure, going past failure

 What other everyday habits, behaviors, challanges could I do, that could help me reprogram myself and integrate that Red? Am I approaching this well? 

 

 

 

 

[Joseph Maynor]

Make a daily to do list and check every single item off before you go to bed.

[niko123]

@Joseph Maynor Good idea. Will implement.

[Ulax]

Practice saying "No", and "I disagree" in conversation.