I have finally decided that mathematics and STEM is not right for me

[Husseinisdoingfine]

So, the gist of what's going on in my life is that I am making the switch away from mathematics and STEM and into something that is more practical and suitable for me, something in which I am naturally talented and have a chance of succeeding. I have changed my major to a softer major, sociology. The problem is that sociology is not really a marketable degree that will necessarily land me a job.

This leads me to the "moving forward" section. In your video from, I believe, 5–6 years ago, "Should You Go to College?", Leo highlighted that one of the alternatives to college was a serious dedication to self-education.

I'm afraid to go down this path because of my family and the pressure they put on me. I come from an intellectual family where, in our mindset, the only way to succeed is with a degree. Most of the older people in my family have either master's degrees or Ph.D.s. I don't have the courage to tell them that I am going to pursue self-education while doing a B.A. in Sociology.

Another thing I fear is myself: my laziness, my ineffectiveness, etc. One of the reasons I switched from physics to sociology is that my procrastination and horrific lack of time-management skills caused me to fail Calculus II. The weird thing about calculus was that it was never that difficult. It really wasn't. But for some weird reason, I could not be bothered to simply open the damn textbook and read it every day.

Why? Why do I have such an issue with discipline and time management? Why wasn't I making an effort, at least every week, to open the damn textbook? I scored a 97% on my first Calculus II exam. But after that, I just... stopped.

Why? Why did I stop? Psychologically, I just did not have it in me, and I totally lacked the discipline to just look at the damn textbook, read it, and do the damn assignments. Even my physics professor told me, "Well, Hussein, I don't think the problem is your intelligence or intellectual capacity, not at all... The main thing I'm concerned about is your lack of discipline."

Why do I lack this discipline? I've read books on how to be more disciplined in college, and yet I cannot be bothered to do the mere basics required to succeed. Is this because, deep down, I don't like what I do?

This takes me back to why I am afraid. I'm worried that if I go down the self-education route, then I'm going to slack off again. I'm also worried that if I try to train myself in computer programming to build a passion project, my skills will be rendered worthless due to AI.

[Elliott]

Your family was probably in the "safety needs level", you're probably "love and belonging needs level". If you satisfy your social needs you may find yourself back in the "esteem" level and Gung ho to study hard. Are you under a scholarship you're taking advantage of, or could you layoff school for a bit and come back with no loss?

Edited 2 hours ago by Elliott