I Told the Girl I liked that I like Escorts

[TheGod]

I’m gonna share with you guys a story that vividly demonstrates that everything you know about what to say to women and what not to say is wrong.

This happened a few months ago, when I was still living in Canada. I worked in a hotel and there was a cute Canadian girl from Calgary that worked in the coffee shop in the same hotel. She was very attractive and I was afraid to tell her what I felt about her.  After a few weeks of hesitation, I decided to come and talk to her. The coffeeshop was empty because the hotel wasn’t that busy that day, so I came to her, hearing my own heart jumping out of my chest and told her “Hey, I know it’s a bit too direct, but I wanted to tell you that I feel attracted to you and I was wondering if you could give me your phone number so that we can get to know each other better?” (something like that). She actually got nervous as well and told me that she couldn’t do it because she had recently break up with her ex-boyfriend. I wasn’t that disappointed with the answer and I felt relieve. We kept talking afterwards but way less (I wasn’t that involved in convos with her because I didn’t see the point). One day, she came to me a few days after my bd and asked me if I did anything fun on it. I asked her if she wanted to know the truth or she was asking out of Canadian politeness and she said she wanted to know what I did. So, I told her that truth. I told her that on my BD I went to Calgary to fuck a prostitute and I enjoyed it. She was very surprised with the answer but I didn’t see judgment on her face neither anything like that. She asked me why I did it and I told her that I do it sometimes because I don’t have a gf and I don’t like playing games with women and that I am too direct for Canadian women, so I don’t have that many options. She smiled and said that indeed I am very direct.

Surprisingly enough, after this she would still come and talk to me at work. On Canada day there was a huge party and she was there too. I didn’t talk to her most of the time because I was enjoying myself and my friends (I was about to leave Canada in a few weeks). At some point I came to her and asked what was her plan for the rest of the night and she told me she was gonna go to a bar with her gay friend and I asked her if I could come with them and she said of course.

When we went to the bar, we both were dancing and I was touching her body all over the place. I was so horny. Everybody on the dancefloor including her could see my dick in the ‘ready-to-go’ mode. At some point she looked at me and asked if I wanted to come to her place to watch a movie and I said yes smiling like a psychopath. Obviously, we didn’t watch a movie that night, instead we fucked.

Think about it, she knew I fucked a prostitute on my bd, nevertheless she became more attracted to me. Women are crazy lol

Edited 6 hours ago by TheGod

[LordFall]

Yes women like unashamed male sexuality if it's calibrated. A lot of men don't own their sexual side and end up being unintegrated males that don't have that raw masculine charisma. If you don't have it it's easy to end up as a sort of passive aggressive, nice guy syndrome type of dude. 

[TheGod]

9 minutes ago, LordFall said:

Yes women like unashamed male sexuality if it's calibrated. A lot of men don't own their sexual side and end up being unintegrated males that don't have that raw masculine charisma. If you don't have it it's easy to end up as a sort of passive aggressive, nice guy syndrome type of dude. 

Most of my life I was ashamed of my masculine sexuality because I was born in a very close-minded society. On top of  that I was raised by women (my mom and grandmother). I was basically calibrated to be a women pleaser and only recently I started breaking out of this shell. 

[AION]

Attraction doesn’t follow social norms 

[aurum]

@TheGod
The more valuable lesson here might be that women just need time to warm up to you.

You dumped way too much intent, too fast on your opener. That will never work 99% of time. Not even because she might not like you, but because she literally knows nothing about you at that point.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand when you’re nervous it can actually be easier to just put all your cards on the table like that. It’s better you did the approach than nothing, as evidenced by the fact it still worked out. But it’s still way too much pressure, too soon for any woman to reasonably make a decision on.

The best thing you did was that you took down the pressure and kept talking to her. She actually helped you out by giving you an excuse.

[TheGod]

20 minutes ago, aurum said:

@TheGod
The more valuable lesson here might be that women just need time to warm up to you.

You dumped way too much intent, too fast on your opener. That will never work 99% of time. Not even because she might not like you, but because she literally knows nothing about you at that point.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand when you’re nervous it can actually be easier to just put all your cards on the table like that. It’s better you did the approach than nothing, as evidenced by the fact it still worked out. But it’s still way too much pressure, too soon for any woman to reasonably make a decision on.

The best thing you did was that you took down the pressure and kept talking to her. She actually helped you out by giving you an excuse.

You made an assumption thinking that she didn’t know anything about me. Before I approached her in this way we had been taking like for a month or so. 
The second assumption you made is that this won’t work in 99% of the time. Maybe it won’t work if you do it because it’s not authentic to you and doesn’t fit your personality or your energy. In fact, I opened my ex in the same way. She was sitting in the bar and I came and asked her if she could give me her number because I found her attractive and she did give it to me and we started dating. She didn’t know nothing about me, still it worked out very well because it was authentic and she liked it. I agree with you that most women won’t like it probably but I don’t want to date most women, if someone finds this to be too direct we’ll, I am not the right person for her and I am okay with it.

[Inliytened1]

You'll find that every women is unique. What turns one on may repel another.  That's why you can't place women in a box.  If you try to do that they'll climb out and cut your dick off.

[TheGod]

3 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

You'll find that every women is unique. What turns one on may repel another.  That's why you can't place women in a box.  If you try to do that they'll climb out and cut your dick off.

I turned on a hot Brazilian girl with this “flower” that I gave to her 😂😂

[Inliytened1]

Hahah

[PsychedelicEagle]

5 hours ago, TheGod said:

I told her that on my BD I went to Calgary to fuck a prostitute and I enjoyed it.

Fuck! This is Mode One in action. Alan Roger Currie would be proud of you 🤝

5 hours ago, TheGod said:

Everybody on the dancefloor including her could see my dick in the ‘ready-to-go’ mode.

Awesome. The important thing when this happens is to maintain your composure and not lean forward. Lean backward showing you take pride in your member.

5 hours ago, TheGod said:

we didn’t watch a movie that night, instead we fucked.

AKA the Indoor Olympics.

You raised her attraction level by showing you had balls to do and say what you wanted. Cheers dude.

[aurum]

56 minutes ago, TheGod said:

You made an assumption thinking that she didn’t know anything about me. Before I approached her in this way we had been taking like for a month or so. 

Fair enough. But I'm going to guess those were all very platonic interactions.

This was the first time you showed some serious intent and put pressure on her to make a choice about you.

56 minutes ago, TheGod said:

The second assumption you made is that this won’t work in 99% of the time. Maybe it won’t work if you do it because it’s not authentic to you and doesn’t fit your personality or your energy. In fact, I opened my ex in the same way. She was sitting in the bar and I came and asked her if she could give me her number because I found her attractive and she did give it to me and we started dating. She didn’t know nothing about me, still it worked out very well because it was authentic and she liked it. I agree with you that most women won’t like it probably but I don’t want to date most women, if someone finds this to be too direct we’ll, I am not the right person for her and I am okay with it.

No that is not an assumption. It does not work.

If your ex responded positively that way, that was luck. It will not work in the vast majority of situations, even with women who would have liked you eventually. Exactly like your co-worker.

You can do what you want, but in my opinion you are shooting yourself in the foot putting so much pressure on her immediately.

[Inliytened1]

36 minutes ago, aurum said:

Fair enough. But I'm going to guess those were all very platonic interactions.

This was the first time you showed some serious intent and put pressure on her to make a choice about you.

No that is not an assumption. It does not work.

If your ex responded positively that way, that was luck. It will not work in the vast majority of situations, even with women who would have liked you eventually. Exactly like your co-worker.

You can do what you want, but in my opinion you are shooting yourself in the foot putting so much pressure on her immediately.

Yeah I agree with you but you said something in there that was key. It was better that he did the approach then nothing.  A lot of times women appreciate just the fact that you have the balls to approach them, even if it was too direct. But here's the catch, if your game is gonna suck like that than you better be decent looking with some height.  (Or she just needs to find you attractive) If you have that going your game can suck and you can still bag her because you approached.  If you have those things you get away with more.  If you have less of those things you need stronger game.  But just approaching at all puts you in a position to win.

Edited 15 minutes ago by Inliytened1

[eos_nyxia]

It wouldn't be a turn on, but it wouldn't be a turn off either, it depends on the guy's motives. 

Things that are fine: 

• Not being interested in spending time, money, and energy on the whole dating and sex game because you're actually too busy because of career or too many IRL obligations, or you find it pointless
• wanting to stay single and unattached, paying not to deal with people's emotions and messiness because you know you're not interested or can't handle it. The boundary is rooted in financial exchange, which is fine in and of itself.  
• Wanting to get your own inexperience out of the way because it is a developmental road block, or even just wanting to get it out of the way and then going on to having a "regular" (non-paid) sex life

Things that are not fine: 

• not caring about trafficking or other ethical issues
• treating people like fleshbags that inconveniently happen to walk, talk, and have inner worlds and experiences of their own
• there's a whole list of reasons why a john might not be relationship material, but not bothering with getting into that.

My hot take is that as a woman who has been with very few people (and I guess I'm considered conventionally attractive since people tend to wonder about what would woman would pay for it), I would rather pay for it and greatly increase my chances of having a good experience than doing the casual sex roulette where I have to expend the mental and emotional energy to figure who would be worthwhile, let alone who is SAFE. While I'm good enough at figuring out people's motives quickly, it's nice to have other options because vetting people and can be exhausting.

I actually think that more women are opening up to this possibility, that a lot of casual sex is a waste of time for women's pleasure and often is unsafe as well.  

Pros:

• someone who is paid to prioritize your pleasure, especially if they are drawn to the sexual service aspect
• you can read reviews and stuff to get a better sense of their personality, sexual and emotional style, etc.
• also being paid to be left alone, like a person who won't try to extract emotional resources, a relationship, or time, etc.
• takes STI monitoring seriously (this is a very big one for me)

Cons: 

• anything above either not being true or failing in reality