Victim mindset

[Ben2204]

Hi guys,
I've hit a rough patch with no results, and now I'm really stuck in this identity of a guy who can't get dates anymore, this identity of a guy who never seems to have anything good happen to him.

I'm currently in a seduction mentoring program, and I spend all my time complaining and deliberately messing things up. For example, sometimes I go out and deliberately make bad open to get rejected, or I deliberately leave a conversation that's going well, or when I send the first message and have to suggest a date, I deliberately send a bad message to get ghosted or rejected. And sometimes I even deliberately wait 4-5 days before replying to a woman who seemed interested.
So, I'm making more and more approaches, and obviously, nothing changes.

Actually, I realize I have a lot of bitterness towards women. I feel like they have a problem with me, like they just want me to suffer. And on the other hand, I'm very attached to this victim mentality, this frustration mentality, and this mentality of proving to others that the game doesn't work for me.

How can I break free from this whole thought pattern? Why is this happening to me?
How can I stop feeling bitterness towards women?

[Lyubov]

First off you need to own it. So say to yourself "I am choosing to _____ (sabotage myself)." Don't frame yourself as a victim like all of this is being force onto you, you're choosing this. Let's establish that. You are creating this. Ok, now this is where we can let our shoulders down and take a deep breathe. You don't need to beat yourself up. You have nothing to prove. Just ask with curiosity and care, like you're asking a friend you love and care about "why am I choosing to sabotage myself?" "what do I believe about myself here?" "why am I doing this?"

To answer your questions. You break free by becoming aware of your true value and worth that is inherent, and aligning with what you know is right for you. It's happening to you because you are choosing to do it (own it) but there is a secret benefit to it you don't wish to admit to yourself because you wouldn't be able to defend the self sabotage if you didn't frame it as something out of your control or something you're confused about. Probably a beleif about your self worth, believing you aren't worthy of success, believing you aren't enough, scared to step into the unkown away from the comfort of the old painful pattern you can't admit to yourself you choose or else he whole thing becomes indefensible with emotional logic. 

Feeling bitter is a feeling you create through a belief, so I would drop the feeling word and replace it with what you think or believe. Why do you believe you need to create a bad feeling you label bitter when you think about women? What do you believe about women? Do you believe a woman has wronged you? What do you not accept about the world which women are a part of? Do you believe you are good enough to be in a relationship with a woman? 

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rqtt6rhrNEs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CidDVoHdmQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QK4yDXdAGc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYTqyJ-49ew

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IqVDvnDEJU

 

Edited 5 hours ago by Raze

[Rafael Thundercat]

When will Leo finally release the reprograming Subconscious Course. That would tackle all this aspects that are for sure blocking a lot of people here. 

[LordFall]

The first step is awareness, good on you to have made this post. Most humans have the victim mindset seeping out of them without admitting it to themselves. I see it on this forum and in life as a whole.

Second step is to level up and fix the issue. The abundance mindset starts out as an idea that you try to manifest while telling yourself IM A HIGH VALUE MAN WOMEN LOVE ME in the mirror while no woman goes out with you but it takes hold once you actually go out with attractive women and they enjoy your company and fuck you so I mean your brain has not much to doubt at that point.

Are you on dating apps or solely doing cold approach? I think dating apps are a great foundation for abundance in dating because with a good profile you can go on a date each week with about 10 mins of effort. It's probably not gonna be with your dream women so stuff like social circle and status are important to attract the hotter women but it's a good start. 

Cold approach is a good baseline because you can get some feedback today as soon as you approach a girl but it's not really an efficient mechanism to truly unlock abundance in dating and sex. 

Also victim mindset, rejection and self-sabotage have a weird masochistic characteristic to it, it's almost like getting hooked on the dark side of the force in star wars. Levelling up and building a dream life has a long term feedback loop and a lot of friction, it's not that fun until you actually build an awesome life years down the line. Getting rejected and telling yourself im so bad oh no women hate me is like those femdom dudes that love to get humiliated. Be careful with unless it's truly your fetish. 

Edited 51 minutes ago by LordFall