I Fucked Up.

[LordFall]

Two main things come to mind after reading your post 

1) You seem to shame your own sexuality a lot. I would argue you seducing a woman is a gift to her, as long as you don't lie about your intentions and lead her on. Life is boring and stressful and you don't need to marry a girl for 50 years to offer value to her life. A fun night of kissing and bonding refreshes anyones soul, you don't need to see them for a long period of time afterwards to make that a mutually beneficial exchange.

2) You seem to lack a container in your life for women that you're not massively into but are still friendly with. That's where the power of social circle game and container events shine. You can organize a monthly or bimonthly event that aligns with your interest where you invite all the women you know and your friends and use it as both a testing ground for how these women align with your life but also as a way to keep in touch with women that you wouldn't necessarily ask out on a full date but also aren't already part of your social circle. I'm in the creative industry so I've done this with photoshoots and open mic events. Dinner parties can aslo work well for this.

[Valach]

37 minutes ago, LordFall said:

1) You seem to shame your own sexuality a lot. I would argue you seducing a woman is a gift to her, as long as you don't lie about your intentions and lead her on. Life is boring and stressful and you don't need to marry a girl for 50 years to offer value to her life. A fun night of kissing and bonding refreshes anyones soul, you don't need to see them for a long period of time afterwards to make that a mutually beneficial exchange.

A lot of people (vast majority) carry a lot of trauma that leads them to pursue things that are fundamnetally not good for them. Human mind is rather fragile. A lot of people will get hurt and get jaded by going through these experiences. It is not as simple as "having fun in the moment is good for you". I mean you could use the same arguments for doing drugs or any unhealhty habbit that clearly have a long term effects on you and those are usually not positive.

With a lot of self-awarreness you can easily spot this in people. Many time I have met woman (or men but obviously it is easier to spot in people you date) who eventhough they engage in casual stuff and dating, you can sense that they truly do not desire it. And they are just using it to run away from themselfs.

 

[LordFall]

You seem to not be comfortable with sexuality as I've already mentioned about you on in a previous post.

What process have you gone through in your life to get to the root of your own shame and discomfort around it and do you have litmus tests to know if you're creating a positive experience for the women you're interacting with and or if you're reinforcing their bad behaviours?

The way you talk about sexuality like it's a dangerous opioid is not healthy in my eyes but I could be wrong.

[Ulax]

Seems chill to me

[Zenterus]

4 hours ago, LordFall said:

You seem to shame your own sexuality a lot. I would argue you seducing a woman is a gift to her, as long as you don't lie about your intentions and lead her on.

Ain't no shame here, brother. This is about integrity and empathy. There is no gift in seducing a woman and then leaving her out to dry. Yes, if I'm genuinely interested and she is too, then amazing, but if not, it's a shitty thing to do.

4 hours ago, LordFall said:

You seem to lack a container in your life for women that you're not massively into but are still friendly with. That's where the power of social circle game and container events shine.

I feel like this is your answer to everything, man. But I hear your point and it is something that I implement differently. I don't host events, but I do invite people to come along to things that I'm already doing, which serves the same purpose.

 

3 hours ago, Ulax said:

Seems chill to me

Thanks, my G.

[LordFall]

2 hours ago, Zenterus said:

I feel like this is your answer to everything, man. But I hear your point and it is something that I implement differently. I don't host events, but I do invite people to come along to things that I'm already doing, which serves the same purpose.

Thanks, my G.

No worries.

It's not my answer to everything but it's a common pitfall that people that have learned game run into. Since you learn to meet people on your own terms you're able to date outside of the organic social circles that people usually find partners in like school, work or family relations when it comes to arranged marriages.

That's a phenomenal skill but the skillset that sits on top of that is creating your own social circles that you use either for dating or for business or community building purposes.

A problem is usually solved in a paradigm above the one the one it was created in so it's a common solutions to a lot of game issues. 

Edited yesterday at 10:46 PM by LordFall

[Zenterus]

@LordFall Im high as fuck right now an I'm open to hearing more. What would you recommend as a first step for me to get that process going?

[Yimpa]

@Zenterus Hey, the guidelines say you can’t be posting high while on here you naughty boy  

[LordFall]

33 minutes ago, Zenterus said:

@LordFall Im high as fuck right now an I'm open to hearing more. What would you recommend as a first step for me to get that process going?

You gotta reverse engineer your goals but the simplest way to get started is by hosting your first container event. There are different types but a group dinner is the easiest format. Do it 2-3 weeks from now and invite all your friends and all the girls that you know or cold approach until then. Goal is to have ideally 8-12 people and for it to feel like an event not 4 people having dinner.

The real idea is to play 10-20 events down the line what you want to accomplish. A monthly group dinner cool if you can get that going you'll have perhaps turned acquaintances into more of a friend circle type of dynamic. I do creative events so part of my container events is photoshoots, podcasts and open mics so that after 10-20 events I've built up a library of content and a full on branded community. That's how I created the creatives pages and group chats(each have 250 people) in Calgary and Toronto.

https://www.instagram.com/calgary_creatives/

https://www.instagram.com/creatives_toronto/

You can do it in other niches like do a run club or a volleyball team for sports or more of a corporate type if that's more your interest. The idea is that you are creating an entity outside of you(the social circle) that also acts as a net for people in your life so you're not just a cold approach and dates kind of guy but you have a community and group that's part of your life. 

Depending on your life purpose and current resources you can take it different ways. Like you see I like to brand mine and scale it as I feel like it has infinite potential this way and I can create a global community out of it when I expand to the US and Europe soon. I hosted my first fashion show last year based on this idea, it was one of the most fun projects I've tried in my life so far. You can also make it more of a local hangout type of thing where you just have men and women that fit your personality and that you hangout with as a new friend circle that you created from thin air. 

A lot of things that we enjoy this life fit this model. Actualized.org is an online community that was distributed through a Youtube Channel. RSD was a business ecosystem that was marketed originally through local inner city group chats and free events. Dan Bilzerian hired a videographer to film his events and turn him from a dude wasting money spending cash throwing events to a global celebrity.

The idea is to use leverage in your dating and social life and combine it with your business and career goals. Notice most dating coaches don't have a day job they film themselves talking to girls or talking to a camera teaching guys how to do it then they travel the world and date girls full time. Some of them do it through a social circle format but the core thing to remember and flesh out for your own personal life is leveraging your time. Getting more than 1 unit of value for 1 unit of time that you invest in your dating/social life. If you cold approach for 10 hours idk maybe you get a laid a few times if you're good but probably you just walk around the street and get a few instagrams. If you host events and shoot content then you meet the same if not more girls and build your social circle and build your media at the same time. 

This is how I created the The Dining Club page, I was hired to build this guy's personal brand while he was gonna renovate a marina in a small town and it turns out his main interest was really meeting hot girls so we started throwing group dinners and I filmed them and built a page around it to get social proof to get more and more girls and I ended up selling him the page and I pivoted to the creative events because they're free to host instead of spending money on the dinners.

https://www.instagram.com/thedining.club

This model will let you hangout with girls in a way that is win-win for the both of you without having to make it all about dating and sex. I like it because I tried making female friends the "normal way" and just inviting co-workers to lunch and I felt like I was stuck talking to them about random gossip in both our lives and wasting money on eating out all the time but since I've started doing it this way I feel like I'm making way deeper bonds that actually relate to the goals that me and these women have instead of just randomly having worked at a store together one time and now trying to keep a friendship going based off of that. 

Edited yesterday at 11:15 PM by LordFall

[LordFall]

This guy explains the concept well here

He's one of the dating coaches that focuses mostly on social life and creating a high value social circle instead of relying mostly on cold approach or dating apps.

https://www.instagram.com/newcitymastery/?hl=en

[Yimpa]

Your honesty is commendable.