Game is not enough, guys.

[Zenterus]

Who you are outside of the game is actually more important than who you are when she is in front of you.

A lot of men who want to improve their dating lives, neglect this fact.

They do the basics: Go out, socialize, read up on game theory and pickup, try to dress (their version of) good, etc.

They think going up to a woman and plastering a wide smile on their face and putting on an entertaining enough performance for the woman should produce results.

And yeah, sometimes it will.

But it will never be consistent and you will never feel like you finally "get it."

The truth that I've learned after 10 years in this game of love, sex and dating is that WHO YOU ARE MATTERS.

No matter how many smooth lines you have in your arsenal, no matter how fresh your outfit is, no matter how masculine and expensive your cologne is and regardless how fearless you are to approach.. if you're an unconfident, needy, insecure, purposeless guy at the core, women will smell it on you.

This is such a mindfuck of a realization because you'd think that going out and approaching a lot will get you results due to the extensive volume of approaches you do, but I discovered the opposite. 

Actually integrating your approaches in a way that they seamlessly fit into an already purposeful and interesting life is the best way to go about this and will keep your energy at the right frequency to attract a quality woman.

If women and dating becomes a big part of your life, it can negatively affect your self esteem because dating is riddled with chaos, rejection, uncertainty and confusion and when you don't have a life to ground you outside of it, then it results into madness, resentment and massive insecurity.

If you're a beginner then okay, I get it. Schedule blocks of time for game in your week and go get em, tiger.

However, if approaching is no longer an issue, find a way to create a life that puts you in contact with women naturally without you having to go out of your way to find them.

For example, my current lifestyle consists of work, gym, GMAT studies and socializing in the weekend (will soon also start latin dance classes). During the week, however, if I don't socialize at all, by the time the weekend comes I have massive negative momentum and my charisma becomes choppy.

To fix this, instead of going home to study, or going to the gym nearby my house, I instead pack my lunch in the morning and walk my ass to the library to study after work. On my way there, I make sure to approach at least 1-2 women. Then I go to the library, do my thing, and then head to a nearby gym. On the way there I.. you guessed it.. approach 1-2 women.

Same goes for the weekend. I never go out to "game." It's in the back of my mind, sure, but I always go to places that I feel I would genuinely enjoy being in whether women were there or not. 

This has a much more positive impact on your psychology than going out specifically to meet women. You become a man on his purpose who just naturally meets women as he goes through his day, instead of this hunter whose self esteem gets chipped off little by little with every rejection. You feel good about being on your purpose, doing your thing and making progress on your larger goals that, in comparison, approaching a girl feels absolutely miniscule.

It's also much more attractive to the woman.

You approach a gorgeous girl and she asks you "what are you up to?" And you respond "I'm on my way to the library to work on some business stuff." Boom, a man on his purpose doing his thing. And its REAL. She can feel the congruence! Cause, sure, you can just lie and say you're doing something other than pickup, but you know you're lying and that does a number on your psychology and self esteem over time because you know you're not being integruous and in alignment with a high value man's lifestyle.

The point is: Become a cool guy, for real.

Have an interesting life. Don't just work on the pickup stuff. Sign up for a dance class, hang out with cool people, start working on a creative project, get into martial arts.

Yes, it makes your time more limited and thus you won't have as much time to game, but your energy will be much more attractive because you're out here actually LIVING A FULL LIFE instead of chasing outside approval.

That comes with a vibe that can't be faked.

And when you're talking to the girl and you're conveying your authentic self, what you're expressing will be massively more intriguing than if you're not doing the above.

(Also, a lot of you guys need to go to therapy, for real. Myself included, honestly.)

Again, who you are outside of the game matters! So if you're depressed, angry, sad, lonely, etc. That is going to emanate off of you, no matter how much you try and hide it. If you have no standards amd aren't willing to walk away from a girl because you're desperate and needy, no line or technique can cover that shit up. Same goes if you're a weak people pleasing pussy. Aint no hiding that behind an alpha persona, cause the moment she tests you, you will expose yourself.

The self is always shining through.

So stop procrastinating on it and actually sit down with yourself to work on your issues.

Ask yourself: How does an attractive man live? How doed he spend his time? Who does he keep around him? How does he think? How does he dress? 

Don't just spout lines and focus on dialing your subcommunications down. That's just performance

Become the real deal and everything else will fall in alignment.

 

Edited 5 hours ago by Zenterus

[LordFall]

Couldn't agree more. I'll race you to $1,000,000 

 

[Miguel1]

PREACH brother.

We talked on IG, but I am really gonna hone in on RAW authenticity there so I will naturally attract not only girls, but the RIGHT girls.

Thank you for the post.

[Rishabh R]

@Zenterus Man as soon as you make pickup your purpose over career like gets F--ked. Great post.