The Tension Before the Approach

[Olaf]

Okay, I am getting clearer on this. I literally feel like I am on the edge of something big here. I was making approaches, and I got to experience these bad streaks. Now, don't get me wrong, they are nowhere near as bad as when I was just beginning and girls were telling me to fuck off, lol. They are still polite and everything most of the time, but what happens is that when I am not having a "good" day, meaning my energy is off, which happens, and should be expected, I start feeling this pressure or tension, like, I AM GOING TO APPROACH. I am not fully present in the moment, I am thinking about the approach I am about to do.

Then I approach almost preparing myself for the interaction instead of letting it be organic, free-flowing, and authentic. I was watching Jeff with his channel `Presence in the Void`, and Jeff really described well how you get stifled in your body. Your muscles tense up, almost as if they're preparing you for battle.

It's like you're getting ready to jump off a cliff or something. Of course, that energy is horrible to approach someone with. So he talks about first becoming aware of that build-up, that tension in the body, then becoming 10% less tense and acting like you're stoned. It was funny, I tried that today. In my head, I was singing a Dutch stoner song, which made me feel a bit stoned. I acted a bit like I was stoned, I tried to become 10% less tense and stay aware of the tension in the body, and I noticed an improvement in my approaches. Yet I don't have enough data to say, "That's it. This is all there is to it."

Also, by pure magic, Owen is coming to my city Amsterdam this weekend, just as I am getting into all of this social stuff. So who knows, I might go to his free tour just to see him in person and learn. But anyway, I was listening to him, and I realized that I am taking an introverted approach and maybe an extroverted approach with massive amounts of approaching in short periods of time is needed for momentum, instead of taking breaks in between to come back to yourself as introverts naturally feel the need or want to do so.

Edited 13 hours ago by Olaf

[LordFall]

The reasons introverts are worse at cold approach than extroverts is we think more. Extroverts go first vibe then think later. Introverts think and put themselves in fight or flight before the approach. Thus why meditation helps and being in a flow of presence. 

Hitting the gym before a cold approach session has always helped me, probably because of raised testosterone and then you meditate in the morning before the game session and you're primed for it. 

If you do a 30 challenge and game everyday you will gain a lot of momentum and almost turn yourself into an extrovert and your anxiety will drop massively if not disappear. 

[Olaf]

@LordFall Yes I would say it is much more natural for extroverts. Yet an introvert has its own qualities that are attractive to women, as extroverts can also just be loud monkeys at times. I am going to see Owen tomorrow in person in Amsterdam; maybe his energy will reveal something to me that I need to know. I want to feel what it is like to be in his presence and what his energy is like. 

[LordFall]

Dope excited for you. Get a picture! 

I went to an RSD Madison and RSD Alex free tours years ago, great experience. Phenomenal way to meet like minded friends. I haven't met Owen in person yet, one day I will. One of my top mentors for sure. Sartain has surpassed him in game but Owen is the one who created a movement around it.

I met Mystery in person a few years ago, that was one of my favorite experiences in my life. Such a unique and poetic guy. One of my clients got his bootcamp so I got to meet him while I was helping him with content production. 

[Olaf]

Yes and the timing couldn't be better, this is exactly the time that I am working on this area. I will let you guys know how it went.

[Miguel1]

Owen outside of US? That’s a first.

[LifeEnjoyer]

1 hour ago, Miguel1 said:

Owen outside of US? That’s a first.

Owen himself won't be there just his team.

[Inliytened1]

4 hours ago, Olaf said:

Okay, I am getting clearer on this. I literally feel like I am on the edge of something big here. I was making approaches, and I got to experience these bad streaks. Now, don't get me wrong, they are nowhere near as bad as when I was just beginning and girls were telling me to fuck off, lol. They are still polite and everything most of the time, but what happens is that when I am not having a "good" day, meaning my energy is off, which happens, and should be expected, I start feeling this pressure or tension, like, I AM GOING TO APPROACH. I am not fully present in the moment, I am thinking about the approach I am about to do.

Then I approach almost preparing myself for the interaction instead of letting it be organic, free-flowing, and authentic. I was watching Jeff with his channel `Presence in the Void`, and Jeff really described well how you get stifled in your body. Your muscles tense up, almost as if they're preparing you for battle.

It's like you're getting ready to jump off a cliff or something. Of course, that energy is horrible to approach someone with. So he talks about first becoming aware of that build-up, that tension in the body, then becoming 10% less tense and acting like you're stoned. It was funny, I tried that today. In my head, I was singing a Dutch stoner song, which made me feel a bit stoned. I acted a bit like I was stoned, I tried to become 10% less tense and stay aware of the tension in the body, and I noticed an improvement in my approaches. Yet I don't have enough data to say, "That's it. This is all there is to it."

Also, by pure magic, Owen is coming to my city Amsterdam this weekend, just as I am getting into all of this social stuff. So who knows, I might go to his free tour just to see him in person and learn. But anyway, I was listening to him, and I realized that I am taking an introverted approach and maybe an extroverted approach with massive amounts of approaching in short periods of time is needed for momentum, instead of taking breaks in between to come back to yourself as introverts naturally feel the need or want to do so.

You're over thinking.  Just go up to her and be yourself.  The whole game technology thing is crap. Ultimately a girl will like you for you.  So that's all you have to do.

[LordFall]

13 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

You're over thinking.  Just go up to her and be yourself.  The whole game technology thing is crap. Ultimately a girl will like you for you.  So that's all you have to do.

He's talking about inner game though not outer game in this instance. Inner game is just giving you the confidence and lowering your anxiety enough to get you to go up to women and be charismatic and not in your head.

There are a lot of outer game techniques that do work consistently but it's not as important as inner game. I'm not a big fan of cold approach but an outer game technique I like is taking dating photography and shooting content to get laid off of dating apps and Instagram. I got all my FWBs from Tinder and Bumble. 

Edited 8 hours ago by LordFall

[Inliytened1]

1 minute ago, LordFall said:

He's talking about inner game though not outer game in this instance. Inner game is just giving you the confidence and lowering your anxiety enough to get you to go up to women and be charismatic and not in your head.

There are a lot of outer game techniques that do work consistently but it's not as important as inner game. 

I understand that if you have the looks inner game doesn't matter  But really when you break it down there is just outer game.  In other words if you have the confidence that you are good looking that's all you might need.

[LordFall]

7 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

I understand that if you have the looks inner game doesn't matter  But really when you break it down there is just outer game.  In other words if you have the confidence that you are good looking that's all you might need.

Inner game is super important even if you're super good looking. I know anxious guys that are good looking but don't get laid cuz they don't have the confidence to flirt and pass women's shit tests.

I don't agree on the confidence is all you need. A lot of attractive women stay at home these days so you wouldn't even meet them. Only by hosting events and having social media/dating apps can you meet like 70% of hot women. I guess you can cold approach in a busy street downtown but I rarely see guys get real hottie doing that. Usually they approach a few 8-9s get blown out then start seeing 5-7s as a result. The only guys I've ever met that pulled hotties consistently were club promoters. Cold approach has very bad results for the amount of effort it takes to get good at it. 

What's your favorite type of game? Where have you met most of your women from 

[Inliytened1]

10 minutes ago, LordFall said:

Inner game is super important even if you're super good looking. I know anxious guys that are good looking but don't get laid cuz they don't have the confidence to flirt and pass women's shit tests.

I don't agree on the confidence is all you need. A lot of attractive women stay at home these days so you wouldn't even meet them. Only by hosting events and having social media/dating apps can you meet like 70% of hot women. I guess you can cold approach in a busy street downtown but I rarely see guys get real hottie doing that. Usually they approach a few 8-9s get blown out then start seeing 5-7s as a result. The only guys I've ever met that pulled hotties consistently were club promoters. Cold approach has very bad results for the amount of effort it takes to get good at it. 

What's your favorite type of game? Where have you met most of your women from 

Well, you know the science a lot better than I do.  Hell. I just got them by going up to them.  I am scared about stuff but when it came to women not that.  I have met them everywhere.. Grocery stores, airplanes, parks. You name it.  Bars were a big one too don't  get me wrong, but they don't have to be drunk.  As long as you are funny.  I think Kevin Hart and  Jim Carey have fucked more girls than we will ever know.  I'm over 100. But I'm old. 

 

  

Edited 8 hours ago by Inliytened1

[LordFall]

100 is a lot goddamn. I should get there in 5 years we'll see how it goes. 

Grocery stores are underrated. I feel like there are so many hot women there idk how that works. I used to live near a big central Walmart and there was always a few attractive women there each time I went. 

The most I've heard is Ray J, the rapper who made the sex tape with Kim Kardashian. 

He says 12 000 in this one. I think that's probably over exaggerated but I believe he's got at least 1000. 

Edited 8 hours ago by LordFall

[Inliytened1]

Just now, LordFall said:

100 is a lot goddamn. I should get there in 5 years we'll see how it goes. 

The most I've heard is Ray J, the rapper who made the sex tape with Kim Kardashian. 

He says 12 000 in this one. I think that's probably over exaggerated but I believe he's got at least 1000. 

100 is nothing to the real players. 

[Olaf]

@LifeEnjoyer how do you know?

[Miguel1]

Owen hasn’t been outside the US in decades. He cannot leave for legal reasons.

[Leo Gura]

Approach Anxiety.

You must drop thinking, you must relax your body, and you must build state by having fun.

Stop all thinking when you are out. Your overthinking creates the anxiety.

Edited 2 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Ulax]

Lol Owen tour sounds fun af. Funnily enough I'm meeting Owen's nemesis at an event in a couple weeks in EU too.