argument with a girl

[Olaf]

So there is a girl I have been seeing for a few days and I am learning something as we got in a bit of a fight. Normally I might would be I don´t know clingy out of scarcity or something. And it got a bit of a bad taste and I decided to just go full abundance. I said, "you know I think we have differences and I don´t know if we can figure it out and it is best if we go our own way and maybe later on our paths will cross again." and what happend? the whole conflict got resolved in 2 mins.

Okay so abundance is key if you mean it. Like you can't fake it, as I truly meant it, like I am ready to leave and go, but if we resolve it we can give it another shot. I think that is the best way to first of all resolve conflicts and she laughed afterwards saying, you are supposed to be the clingy one. I think abundance is key in communication. A lesson I learned today, surely I knew it already but to this degree I have not known, of completely being okay with letting go, guess also my spiritual work or my amount of options has something to do with it. 

Edited 12 hours ago by Olaf

[LordFall]

Good post. Women usually don't respect you if they think you can't get other women and much worse if YOU think that then you will bow down out of subconscious knowledge that you are about to lose access to pussy if you argue with her too much. That's where the whipped husband meme comes from. 

[Olaf]

@LordFall Yes respect is important and therefor also respecting her space, I wasn't playing games I am genuine when I want to give her space. I have to look into those memes lol.

[LordFall]

 

lol

Natasha is gonna roast me for this one I wanted to use Gemini to my own meme where its a women screaming at a dude to do the dishes and he says yes honey but the sink is already empty but I ran out of tokens

 

Edited 11 hours ago by LordFall

[Valach]

This will work only on deeply insecure woman. Be careful to not "pickup" bad habbits along your pickup journey.

Edited 11 hours ago by Valach

[Olaf]

@Valach this is not a game, this is abundance, don't get me wrong I am not doing this as a technique.

[Valach]

1 minute ago, Olaf said:

@Valach this is not a game, this is abundance, don't get me wrong I am not doing this as a technique.

That is not true abundance. Abundance is another "technique" pickup invented anyways. Be careful.

Edited 11 hours ago by Valach

[LordFall]

9 minutes ago, Valach said:

This will work only on deeply insecure woman. Be careful to not "pickup" bad habbits along your pickup journey.

 

4 minutes ago, Valach said:

That is not abundance. Abundance is another "technique" pickup invented anyways. Be careful.

You seem to have a picture of pickup in your head that's more like a caricature and stereotype of it than what it really is about. You're looking at it in a very shallow way. Abundance is deeply rooted in human psychology. Walking away from a negotiation works against all kinds of humans insecure or not because it's not fundamentally a technique. It's an honest signal which is biology not pop culture PUA stuff. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signalling_theory

An honest signal is a behaviour that is hard to fake because it requires. characteristics that are hard to acquire i.e. abundance in this context.

Abundance is not a technique. If you 20 apples and someone threatens to steal your apple and you say ok bro that's not a technique that's you having a lot of apples so you don't care if you lose one. It's a reality you first experience as a mindset/paradigm and then actualize in real life. 

Edited 11 hours ago by LordFall

[Olaf]

@Valach if it is a technique you can fake it, but you can't fake true abundance, which is the willingness to let go. To be truely abundant is love, spiritual.

[Valach]

46 minutes ago, LordFall said:

 

You seem to have a picture of pickup in your head that's more like a caricature and stereotype of it than what it really is about. You're looking at it in a very shallow way. Abundance is deeply rooted in human psychology. Walking away from a negotiation works against all kinds of humans insecure or not because it's not fundamentally a technique. It's an honest signal which is biology not pop culture PUA stuff. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signalling_theory

An honest signal is a behaviour that is hard to fake because it requires. characteristics that are hard to acquire i.e. abundance in this context.

Abundance is not a technique. If you 20 apples and someone threatens to steal your apple and you say ok bro that's not a technique that's you having a lot of apples so you don't care if you lose one. It's a reality you first experience as a mindset/paradigm and then actualize in real life. 

Dude why do you keep talking to me like I do not know pickup. I have been engaged for a long time in it. There are different modalities of pickup, some are more healthy, some less. But this is a bad habbit to pickup if you want to lead healthy relationship.

42 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@Valach if it is a technique you can fake it, but you can't fake true abundance, which is the willingness to let go. To be truely abundant is love, spiritual.

This is not abundance, this is avoidance. Instead of resolving the conflict you threaten breakup, she is insecure (surprise) so she leans back into it. Any healthy woman would just walk away. Either resolve the conflict like a mature human or decide that she is not aligned with you enough for you to invest energy and break up with her. That is real abundance. This is just masked neediness.

 

Real abundance would be if you were able to walk away from a relationship knowing that you will not get another one.

Edited 10 hours ago by Valach

[Ulax]

27 minutes ago, Valach said:

Dude why do you keep talking to me like I do not know pickup. I have been engaged for a long time in it. There are different modalities of pickup, some are more healthy, some less. But this is a bad habbit to pickup if you want to lead healthy relationship.

This is not abundance, this is avoidance. Instead of resolving the conflict you threaten breakup, she is insecure (surprise) so she leans back into it. Any healthy woman would just walk away. Either resolve the conflict like a mature human or decide that she is not aligned with you enough for you to invest energy and break up with her. That is real abundance. This is just masked neediness.

You're being too black or white in your thinking.

You can say statements that state your willingness to walk away so that she better understands the negotiation position she is in.

[Valach]

2 minutes ago, Ulax said:

You're being too black or white in your thinking.

You can say statements that state your willingness to walk away so that she better understands the negotiation position she is in.

But relationships are not some negotiation table like in business. Not the healthy ones at very least. That is the core problem of this.

[LordFall]

13 minutes ago, Valach said:

But relationships are not some negotiation table like in business. Not the healthy ones at very least. That is the core problem of this.

Not implicitly but fundamentally yes they are. You are choosing to invest your time with someone and their actions throughout the relationship will dictate if you will stay in it or not. It shouldn't be a continuous frame battle and a healthy relationship has baked in alignment with personality, communication and goals but it remains a transactional arrangement at the end of the day. You put in yourself and they put themselves and when problems occur you try to fix them and if there are irreconcilable disagreements you cancel the transaction and each party goes their own way. 

It's great to romanticize it and I love love but that's what it is. 

You are right that you can use the walking away in toxic ways and ideally you should talk about it and understand the other's position and try to accommodate it if you want to. At the end of the day it's still the same mechanism though the more desperate and needy you are the more you will compromise on your wants and needs for fear of losing the other and the more in abundance you are the more you will be willing to walk away and find other partner that are more aligned with you. 

[Ulax]

26 minutes ago, Valach said:

But relationships are not some negotiation table like in business. Not the healthy ones at very least. That is the core problem of this.

Every relationship involves much negotiation

[Valach]

Just now, Ulax said:

Every relationship involves much negotiation

Yes but negotation in the sake of wellbeing of both parties. Not threats such as "I will leave if you do not do as I desire".

[Ulax]

5 minutes ago, Valach said:

Yes but negotation in the sake of wellbeing of both parties. Not threats such as "I will leave if you do not do as I desire".

No. You need only respect each other's dignity and implicit/ explicit obligations of the relationships.

[LordFall]

58 minutes ago, Valach said:

Yes but negotation in the sake of wellbeing of both parties. Not threats such as "I will leave if you do not do as I desire".

Ultimatums can be toxic if used in that way but that's literally the foundation every single relationship is based on. Why on earth would people stay in relationships if they don't get their desires and needs met? That's codependency. 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

If she had said, "Okay, I agree. Goodbye," would you have genuinely been at peace with that?

[Olaf]

@Natasha Tori Maru finally someone asking the right question. Yes I would have, that is why I am saying I am not using a technique

[Joseph Maynor]

Stop seeing an argument as an end to a relationship.  Relationships contain arguments.