approaching was a bit rough today

[Olaf]

I have had this happen before. I don't know why, or I kind of do, but I'm not 100% sure exactly what my problem is. Today I approached some girls, and I can say that I wasn't in a good mood. I don't know why. I just wasn't feeling it, and I was also kind of doing it like it was a task I had to complete because I had committed myself to it. It's like going to the gym, you make yourself go because you want to stay consistent.

That was one thing. Also, once again, I didn't have too much time, so even though I tried not to rush, I still felt in the back of my mind that I shouldn't take too much time in between approaches. So somehow I was still rushing, even though I tried my hardest not to. Every set went wrong, and this is why energy is so important. One day you're super confident because you're feeling good, sets open easily, and people are very receptive. Other days you're just not feeling it, or you're rushing, or whatever the reason may be, and you're not able to do it by any means.

I think these might just be the ups and downs of the process, and slowly it will become more stable. But for now, it was kind of annoying, and I went home earlier than I wanted to. Looking back, I'm not feeling too bad about it. I still went out despite not feeling that good, but I'm trying to understand how I can have fewer of these days where I'm not in flow. Warming up is important, and not being in a rush is important, but I feel like there's something more underneath the surface that I'm doing on these off days that makes it much harder for myself than it really needs to be.

Anyway, I'll keep digging and trying to understand what happens on these days because I know it wasn't the girls, it was me, my energy.

Edited 3 hours ago by Olaf

[LordFall]

Awesome. Persistence through bad mood is a good trait in general. It's also important to have other stuff to work on when you're in truly a bad mood or there's bad weather or other outside circumstances that prevent your in person outreach to women. 

Do you have any projects or endeavours that you're working on at the moment to enrich your life and make yourself a more attractive partner and lover? 

 

[Olaf]

@LordFall yeah I think my life is pretty good, but I have days I am just not feeling it, on good days it goes super good, but on days like this it just doesn't seem to pick up. Also I had a good day yesterday, I always feel I have my tougher days after a good day, it is weird like that, I am still trying to figure it out myself and see the patterns. I would say my consistency is good, but my consistency in mood isn't really good as it goes up and down a bit too much.

[LordFall]

Just now, Olaf said:

@LordFall yeah I think my life is pretty good, but I have days I am just not feeling it, on good days it goes super good, but on days like this it just doesn't seem to pick up. Also I had a good day yesterday, I always feel I have my tougher days after a good day, it is weird like that, I am still trying to figure it out myself and see the patterns. I would say my consistency is good, but my consistency in mood isn't really good as it goes up and down a bit too much.

Have you tried social circle game? I would recommend you organize an event while it's still summer and just spend 2 weeks inviting girls to it. The good thing is it lowers your bar for a successful approach, she just has to be vaguely interested in your event or even future events that you might throw to give you her IG. If the vibe is good you can still lead it to an instant date or more direct and forego the event but this dual purpose of approaches is how I've seen the guys that were really successful socially operate. 

An event can be very basic it can be all you can eat sushi dinner and you just tell girls that we're doing this sushi dinner wanna come? That's probably the cheapest and best. If you're artistic you can also throw an open mic or a photoshoot. 

If you are simply looking for pure dates from cold approach that can work but this way is way better IMO as it builds your social capital and network on top of getting you dates. 

[Olaf]

@LordFall I am not too interested in social circle right now, but if I ever am, I know where to find you hehe

[Miguel1]

Pick up is fucking hard to get good at if you are not a natural at it.

Try focusing on one thing to improve at, at a time, before moving to the next.

For you, focus on becoming good at opening sets. It’s the most awkward phase of the interaction. Once you get good at that, the rest will be easy.

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, as that will make you rigid and nervous.

[LordFall]

1 hour ago, Olaf said:

@LordFall I am not too interested in social circle right now, but if I ever am, I know where to find you hehe

No worries, it's your life. Can you elaborate on your life circumstances and what you do for work and what kind of women you're approaching and looking to go on dates with and where you're approaching them? Have you found some success overall from doing this previously like getting a girlfriend, hookups or dates from it or is it your first time giving cold approach a real go? 

I'm having trouble getting a clear picture of the situation, the more you flesh it out the more helpful getting feedback from the forum will be. 

The reason I pitch social circle so much is because I've been in pickup community since I was 19 so for 12 years now. I've seen hundreds of guys go through it and in my experience this is what happens to guys:

60% no results at all for various issues, usually due to giving up too early, lack of consistency or lack of improving by using a feedback cycle. 

30% mediocre results like 10 dates over 5 years and maybe get laid with 2-3 different women in that time. Some people in this camp end up getting a girlfriend that seems from the outside like they settled and got tired of the pain of dating or accidentally got a girl pregnant and stuck with it. 

10% Actually get in abundance in dating and date multiple girls from it and/or all the casual sex they were looking to get from this journey and 30-100+ body count as a result. The guys in that boat seem to have be able to get cool girlfriends they like pretty reliably. 

Less than 1%  actually use it to change their whole life outside of dating and actually build successful networks and brand and end up with it as part of their life purpose and it funds their lifestyle

You don't need to necessarily dedicate your whole career to a game adjacent business and build a big social circle game out of it, its a good way to not end up in the 90% that basically lose their time though. I'm not pulling these numbers out of my ass, these are real men I've met and real stories.

One of the coolest game trips I've had in my life we roadtripped from Calgary to Edmonton and stopped at the biggest mall in Canada west Edmonton mall to talk to girls and do game challenges and went to this new club as well. The guy that drove ended up getting this random girl pregnant a year after that and from his social media doesn't look like he's doing much in life. The other guy that came with got a hard drug addiction and ended up in like an 8 year messy relationship, continuously breaking up and getting back together and doing drugs with her. He met her like 1 year after we did that trip after picking up multiple other girls beforehand.

Another guy I knew like 8 years ago before I went to Toronto was an overweight brown guy that was pretty charming in a funny way and we used to go to the college campus at like 23 years old and he was really good at cold approach and he would get into the sets with the hottest blonde girls ever for like 40 mins while I stood there awkwardly. I was really impressed by his game. He had this strange thing that he brought up where he kept talking about his porn addiction and how how was was on nofap but he just needed a bit of time to get over it. He said the same thing about getting in shape. He never actually pulled any of those hot girls and he fucked a lot of escorts. I came back to that city recently and he was working the same job he was working back then at Fedex and was still trying to figure out his nofap situation and had never gotten a girlfriend in that time and he's still overweight. I tried to invite him to shoot content with me or come to the events I was hosting with hot models now that I figured out social circle a bit but he seemed to ashamed to come and I only saw him 1-2 in my time back in that city. 

To contrast, one other guy I know paid my club promoter roommate for game coaching since he was getting laid left and right and that guy didn't have a social life and just ran an HVAC company. That guy pulled one of the girls I was going after(just briefly it was not a dishonourable thing just seizing an opportunity) and actually put a lot of time effort in his game and also developed a social circle out of it. We ended up partnering up on a business for a few months and although that didn't work out he started a popular fashion show and events brand in Toronto that is still operational today that he runs with his model girlfriend. I got inspired by his success and he was part of the reason I threw my own fashion show last year in Calgary. 

https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/18060769145048516/

In Toronto all the hot girls were like socialites that got invited to events hosted by clubs, promoters, boat owners, restaurant owners or concerts and events like the Toronto Film Festival. It's hard to break into that scene and if to play you have to pay to play and spend a lot of money which I don't have or date random girls in the suburds. I was lucky to a couple of club promoter roommates and I was educated in the value arbitrage and socialite scenes so I got a textbook multi year education in how it works. It's really the funnest way to live life, it sounds pretty complicated but it just starts with hosting your first event and building your leverage from there. 

The guys that don't seem to have really benefited from their game journey never built systems around it. Just did purist cold approach on the street and never partnered up with other operators to increase their results and build something long lasting. 

This is in 2014 from the first RSD Inner Circle meetup I went to and the first night I went to a club. I'm the guy on the left of the two guys with glasses. Later that year RSD had their scandal and they stopped running the groups themselves but a lot of them survived and in most cities there was groups of 50-300 guys regularly day gaming and night gaming with each other.

That was so fun and the golden age of pickup for me but I'll just say that if you told those guys the results they would've had 12 years later on that day they probably would be quite disappointed and quit. That guy in the pink is the exception and he seems to have built a cool for himself and became one of the 10% that got many results and changed his social and dating life.

I'm not where I wanna be yet but if you told me then the results I would've had since then I would've been pretty mind blown and not believe you. I'm shooting for that 1% life changing results and not quite yet there but everyday closer. 

Edited 22 minutes ago by LordFall