Texting my girl often with fast replies

[felixk_priv]

I am pretty productive in my life as far as I'm concerned atm . And in a sense I have a life in terms of what I am doing . I respond quickly to my girl , and often , because I am just always by my phone . Could something happen where she just finds it unattractive  , or it might seem like I am very invested in her without a life . Or she's the centre of my life . Is dis bad to do 😳

[Valach]

The fear of her finding this unattractive is exactly what makes a person unattractive. Just do what you want without thinking too much how it comes off. I have been the same (responding very fast to most people) and never had this issue.

[Hojo]

2 hours ago, felixk_priv said:

I am pretty productive in my life as far as I'm concerned atm . And in a sense I have a life in terms of what I am doing . I respond quickly to my girl , and often , because I am just always by my phone . Could something happen where she just finds it unattractive  , or it might seem like I am very invested in her without a life . Or she's the centre of my life . Is dis bad to do 😳

You shouldn't be scared wether or not she thinks your too invested you should be scared when you are too invested. Not because of her but because of you. Once you invest yourself into someone you are at their mercy. That is scary.

Edited 4 hours ago by Hojo

[Valach]

3 minutes ago, Hojo said:

You shouldn't be scared wether or not she thinks your too invested you should be scared when you are too invested. Not because of her but because of you. Once you invest yourself into someone you are at their mercy. That is scary.

You can be invested and yet handle the potential downfall of a relationship well. That is the point of having self esteem kinda.

[Jirh]

It is absolutely bad. Generally, you should never respond quickly.

Instead, you should divide your time into blocks. And only within the dedicated block for social connections you may reply. If it happens that someone messages you in that window, you may reply quickly, no problem. But never outside of that window. You can make that clear that you're only available between x and y hours.

You should value your time and attention and treat them as sacred. Otherwise, people won't respect you.

[Leo Gura]

Don't be too available.

[Hojo]

1 hour ago, Valach said:

You can be invested and yet handle the potential downfall of a relationship well. That is the point of having self esteem kinda.

Yes but you will have to die. The more you identify with something the more you become it when it gone so must you. You can do it gracefully when you know something else.

Edited 2 hours ago by Hojo

[Valach]

2 minutes ago, Hojo said:

Yes but you will have to die. The more you identify with something the more you become it when it gone so must you. You can do it gracefully when you know something else.

You can be invested in a relationship without deriving your sense of self from it. Doesn't mean you won't be hurt when it fades, but you will be okay.

[Hojo]

@Valach Then its not real, its fake. When you love something it is you.

Edited 2 hours ago by Hojo

[Valach]

3 minutes ago, Hojo said:

@Valach Then its not real, its fake. When you love something it is you.

Quite to contrary. When you love something, you are not grasping. When you love something, you can let it go.

[Hojo]

@Valach Why God not let you go?

[Hojo]

2 minutes ago, Valach said:

Quite to contrary. When you love something, you are not grasping. When you love something, you can let it go.

While its not true to love its how humans love and must love. Because we are transactional dissolving being.

Edited 2 hours ago by Hojo

[Valach]

1 minute ago, Hojo said:

While its not true to love its how humans love and must love. Because we are transactional dissolving being.

Even this transactional love you are talking about (which i do not consider love) can leave you in stable place when it passes.

[Hojo]

@Valach All human love is transactional. We cant unconditionally love each other. Only to everyone.

Edited 2 hours ago by Hojo

[Valach]

12 minutes ago, Hojo said:

@Valach All human love is transactional. We cant unconditionally love each other. Only to everyone.

Okay, but then you are completely moving away from the topic. You can love someone, deeply and break up and be fine. But you need to have enough self esteem/self love for yourself.

[Hojo]

@Valach Then the relationship is a waste of time.

[Valach]

5 minutes ago, Hojo said:

@Valach Then the relationship is a waste of time.

What? Why?

[Hojo]

@Valach The only reason you want to get into a relationship is so you can give yourself away to another person because you have a hole inside of you that needs to be filled. They need to reveal that hole inside of you and that hole is your death. If you dont die after your relationship you just gotta start over and do it all over again.

The entire reason that you got into a relationship, to expose the empty hole inside of you, is wasted cause you just picked yourself back up with your ego.

If you totally love that person then when they leave you are dead. You cant fake away that there is a massive hole there and you fall in.

Edited 1 hour ago by Hojo

[Valach]

4 minutes ago, Hojo said:

@Valach The only reason you want to get into a relationship is so you can give yourself away to another person because you have a hole inside of you that needs to be filled. They need to reveal that hole inside of you and that hole is your death. If you dont die after your relationship you just gotta start over and do it all over again.

The entire reason that you got into a relationship, to expose the empty hole inside of you, is wasted cause you just picked yourself back up with your ego.

If you totally love that person then when they leave you are dead. You cant fake away that there is a massive hole there and you fall in.

You can be whole and still participate in relationships. Stop being so extremist.

Edited 1 hour ago by Valach

[Sugarcoat]

Isn’t there anything in her responses that could give you a clue about what she thinks about your texting?