Are You Aligned In Life?

[Miguel1]

17 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

One thing that can put people “off” is precisely this “holding back” thing you're doing internally and the assumptions and expectations associated with this inner conflict you have regarding your self expression. Thats all inner world activity that is going to affect the outer expression, but also its “emitting information” that others can pick up on, beyond the words. 
 

Noticed I said “internally, inner, self” . Your problem is a you thing deep down. 
 

Certainly I lose many people when my internal state is screening hard for depth and authenticity. But that’s the point! The idea is to screen for people who have depth.

Besides, I get plenty of ”results”. That’s not the issue. The issue is that the results are with people I don’t see a future with, due to difference in depth, and feel like I am just wasting my time.

It’s possible that I have no choice than to just learn and accept to be alone, at least for a good while.

- - - - -

Btw guys, don’t underestimate the power of socializing, intimacy and love from others. People kill themselves from the lack of it. People get into the biggest depressions without it, and for example, after a hard break up.

People literally can’t eat after a break up.

In some ways, the Mashlow’s Hierarchy of Needs is wrong. Love and social care from others comes first. Without it, you don’t even eat!

Let us becareful that this group here isn’t just relatively more numb to human contact and intomacy, because we avoid it more than elsewhere.

Edited 9 hours ago by Miguel1

[CARDOZZO]

As I see, you are going to Mc Donalds to find healthy food. Guess what? 😉

You need to do actions that are aligned to your goals. You are suffering because you are creating your own suffering through desaligned actions.

 

[Sugarcoat]

19 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

19 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

Certainly I lose many people when my internal state is screening hard for depth and authenticity. But that’s the point! The idea is to screen for people who have depth.

Besides, I get plenty of ”results”. That’s not the issue. The issue is that the results are with people I don’t see a future with, due to difference in depth, and feel like I am just wasting my time.

It’s possible that I have no choice than to just learn and accept to be alone, at least for a good while.

- - - - -

Btw guys, don’t underestimate the power of socializing, intimacy and love from others. People kill themselves from the lack of it. People get into the biggest depressions without it, and for example, after a hard break up.

People literally can’t eat after a break up.

In some ways, the Mashlow’s Hierarchy of Needs is wrong. Love and social care from others comes first. Without it, you don’t even eat!

Let us becareful that this group here isn’t just relatively more numb to human contact and intomacy, because we avoid it more than elsewhere.

You seem to have come to some kind of final conclusion here, I guess that was point of thread so this kinda ties it all together dont you think. 
👍🏻👍🏻

 

Edited 9 hours ago by Sugarcoat

[Miguel1]

21 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

You seem to have come to some kind of final conclusion here, I guess that was point of thread so this kinda ties it all together dont you think. 
👍🏻👍🏻

 

Yeah, there’s been plenty of insights and realizations here thanks to everyone who contributed.

[Sugarcoat]

Micdrop🎤 #boom
 

🧘🏻‍♀️

Edited 8 hours ago by Sugarcoat

[Joshe]

18 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

Interesting / good question.

My high school friend. We were friends for like 10-15 years. It worked out because we both got into spirituality together.

It went downhill fast once I started doing Leo’s work seriously 5 years ago. Then I started noticing too many lies, biases, bullshits, self-deceptions. All of which I had kinda noticed but had repressed / ignored.

After Leo’s work, it became too obvious. So I ourgrew him and no longer had much mutual stuff / passions to stay in touch with. We chat once in a while for few sentences on whatsapp.

I don’t know about why most don’t last, but for me they don’t last because

1. Not enough mutual interests and passions

2. Our developmental level are just too different. Even now in my social circle (with complete normies) that I have been building for the past few months, it’s falling apart because I simply just don’t care about social games and what people think of me, nearly as much as them, and this gets me to behave in such a way that hurts them.

I rather lose them, than start micromanaging every social move I make, because it’s quite fragile, the whole game.

If people were more conscious, were able to laugh at themselves, and didn’t take things too seriously, having a social circle wouldn’t necessarily be too bad.

- - - - -

What about you?

I can relate to that. I actually lost a lifelong friend a few years back due to misunderstandings on both our parts, and I chalked it up to him just not being willing to accept the truth of things due to his lack of development.

There's a mismatch between the things my mind wants to engage with and what most others want to engage with, which introduces friction with people. My mind likes to figure stuff out and solve problems and important implications and plans for them - shit like that. So when I go around a group of guys discussing football, I can't sit through that easily and I don't want any part of it. It feels like hell to endure because I can't fake sincere engagement, so I just end up being quiet and coming off as weird, which I could solve by faking engagement, but I'm not willing to do that because it's not authentic and I value authenticity more than I do social harmony and belonging, so I just accept the cost of being the weirdo/different one in those situations. Since you're Fe-dominant, you'd be much more bothered by this than I would be, so I understand the dilemma. 

I used to hold a view that people are just shallow, foolish, lacking knowledge, wasting time on bullshit, etc. And these things are true as a partial perspective. But this partial perspective is heavy to carry. I found a better one that's actually more aligned with what is true, which is: they're shallow and foolish and all that because they're optimizing for something different than I'm optimizing for. If they actually optimized for the same things as me, they would be no more a fool or shallow than me. And I realized that it's immature (for lack of a better term), to insist that people optimize for what I'm optimizing for. If people want to optimize for social harmony, light-hearted connection, or whatever, and if they don't want to optimize for accurate reality tracking and understanding or whatever other thing I value, that's totally fine and I've been an absolute prick for thinking they should optimize for what I optimize for. This new perspective took time to form, but once it did it made it so that I don't get pissy or expect people to meet me where I prefer to be met, and if I want to connect with them, the most reliable way is to go to where they are and engage them there.

And the issue about women being shallow: they're quite adaptable and malleable if you get one who isn't a total trainwreck or a vain dimwit. If they like you, they will naturally model your mind and will come to understand how you see things over time, and that itself grows them and aligns them to you. I'm not sure I would like a woman who engages with intellectual things as much as I do. Seems like it would be weird. I could possibly get into it, but not sure. 

Edited 2 hours ago by Joshe