Men aren't approaching women anymore

[enchanted]

Why Men Don’t Approach Women Anymore | by Katya Koval | Medium https://share.google/x302jnGOZ3VsWI4JC

This is a good article discussing the topic.

Due to online dating and the increasing fear of being implicated in the #metoo movement, men are approaching women at record low numbers. 

This is great news because any man that has the temerity to persue women he's interested has the lowest amount of competition ever in history. 

Edited May 23 by enchanted

[integration journey]

Oh shit. Time to approach then. 

[enchanted]

1 hour ago, integration journey said:

Oh shit. Time to approach then. 

Lol

[Willy Phallicus]

I like when they hold these singles meeting events and only women are in attendance.  This is kind of old news really.

"The game" has been radically altered for a hundred different reasons.  There is no going back either. 

Some people will figure it out.  Some won't.

[Basman]

This topic feels very algorythmic. How real is this issue actually and how do people know that men are approaching less now than before? I don't think pick up has ever been normal.

Sifting through Google search and every result is slop. This feels at best like it's being exaggerated. 

Edited May 23 by Basman

[enchanted]

5 hours ago, Basman said:

This topic feels very algorythmic. How real is this issue actually and how do people know that men are approaching less now than before? I don't think pick up has ever been normal.

Sifting through Google search and every result is slop. This feels at best like it's being exaggerated. 

It's always hard to tell if it's  algorithmic or not but the statistics support the idea in this case. Sex is down, loneliness is up, and many polls also support the claim.

Edited May 24 by enchanted

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 5/23/2026 at 11:50 AM, enchanted said:

This is great news because any man that has the temerity to persue women he's interested has the lowest amount of competition ever in history. 

Too bad it still makes no difference. 
 

On 5/23/2026 at 4:35 PM, Basman said:

This topic feels very algorythmic. How real is this issue actually and how do people know that men are approaching less now than before? I don't think pick up has ever been normal.

Sifting through Google search and every result is slop. This feels at best like it's being exaggerated. 

There are countless TikToks coming out of women venting their frustration about nobody ever flirting with them. 

[Raze]

Men are approaching women, just less men doing it. 

[Basman]

4 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Too bad it still makes no difference. 
 

There are countless TikToks coming out of women venting their frustration about nobody ever flirting with them. 

That's also very algorythmic, because it's the thing people are talking about. "Tons" is also an exaggeration when it's merely a fraction of the total population making anecdotes. It's an echochamber. 

Even the research that the article here is based of is of a small sample size from memory. It's all very anecdotal (with an incentive to talk about it) and I think there is a lack of solid data. How do you even know people where ever "approaching" in the first place?

[enchanted]

I might have been wrong. Here's a more compelling reason men aren't approaching women anymore: they lack the social skills because they spend so much time online. 

 

 

[Sugarcoat]

They weren't really approaching women earlier either, they were approaching their images in their mind of the women

Edited 9 hours ago by Sugarcoat

[LordFall]

4 hours ago, enchanted said:

I might have been wrong. Here's a more compelling reason men aren't approaching women anymore: they lack the social skills because they spend so much time online. 

 

 

That's a really good video. It's accurate in my experience that most men suck at approaching women, no such thing as a natural they were just socialized better than you were in that context. I remember my mom teasing me about women in junior high but she never even told me to ask out a girl, nor did my dad. Had to learn it from pickup coaches. And even though I was not the most confident guy at the start you forget most rejections after 5 mins. 

Women definitely want to be approached. I got a great one on film, I was doing street interviews with my buddy and decided this girl was too hot to approach. Then I said fuck it lets do it anyway and interviewed her and you can see she was pretty receptive and happy to be talked to, got her Instagram after. You can see though my left hand is jittering throughout, I kept my composure for most of it but I was really afraid of talking to her. 

https://www.instagram.com/p/C947lEPpMkn/

 

[LifeEnjoyer]

 

3 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

They weren't really approaching women earlier either, they were approaching their images in their mind of the women

This reminds me of clip #393 - You Are Not Relating To People But Your Image Of Them

Nice connection.

My image of women was them on a pedestal.

Not only women but everyone I perceived as higher status.

[Sugarcoat]

Just now, LifeEnjoyer said:

 

This reminds me of clip #393 - You Are Not Relating To People But Your Image Of Them

Nice connection.

My image of women was them on a pedestal.

Not only women but everyone I perceived as higher status.

Did you manage to change that tendency? Its good you recognize it

[LifeEnjoyer]

Yeah even with a few hiccups here and there. It makes socializing a lot more enjoyable too.

[Sugarcoat]

19 minutes ago, LifeEnjoyer said:

Yeah even with a few hiccups here and there. It makes socializing a lot more enjoyable too.

Definitely. For me, I used to feel insecure around people I viewed as "socially skilled", and it was because I felt shy. Maybe for you it was other qualities that you pedestalized. It really has to do with something that we are feeling about ourselves 

[enchanted]

1 hour ago, LordFall said:

That's a really good video. It's accurate in my experience that most men suck at approaching women, no such thing as a natural they were just socialized better than you were in that context. I remember my mom teasing me about women in junior high but she never even told me to ask out a girl, nor did my dad. Had to learn it from pickup coaches. And even though I was not the most confident guy at the start you forget most rejections after 5 mins. 

Women definitely want to be approached. I got a great one on film, I was doing street interviews with my buddy and decided this girl was too hot to approach. Then I said fuck it lets do it anyway and interviewed her and you can see she was pretty receptive and happy to be talked to, got her Instagram after. You can see though my left hand is jittering throughout, I kept my composure for most of it but I was really afraid of talking to her. 

https://www.instagram.com/p/C947lEPpMkn/

 

Great point. Thanks for the reply. By the way women suck at it too they're just not expected to do it so we never realize it. 

Imagine how cringe it would be if you're minding your own business and this woman, who you want nothing to do with, comes up to you and asks you for your number. She would look just as pathetic as any guy doing the same thing. She would have to be pretty funny, natural, and charamatic to win you over right? 

Edited 5 hours ago by enchanted

[Emotionalmosquito]

7 hours ago, Basman said:

That's also very algorythmic, because it's the thing people are talking about. "Tons" is also an exaggeration when it's merely a fraction of the total population making anecdotes. It's an echochamber. 

Even the research that the article here is based of is of a small sample size from memory. It's all very anecdotal (with an incentive to talk about it) and I think there is a lack of solid data. How do you even know people where ever "approaching" in the first place?

Anything can be overhyped on the internet. As others have noted, it may not even matter if the cold approach crowd has always been rather small.  But I’ve asked women this myself and they generally say they never or rarely get approached unless by much older men from a different era. I even did this one set on an 8/10 at target using the “I think I know your boyfriend” opener coined by Jack Denmo. (who btw is currently serving a three year prison sentence over a false rape accusation, go figure) 

She told me she doesn’t have a boyfriend and said no when I asked if she gets approached by guys often. 
 

So there’s one example

 

[LordFall]

45 minutes ago, enchanted said:

Great point. Thanks for the reply. By the way women suck at it too they're just not expected to do it so we never realize it. 

Imagine how cringe it would be if you're minding your own business and this woman, who you want nothing to do with, comes up to you and asks you for your number. She would look just as pathetic as any guy doing the same thing. She would have to be pretty funny, natural, and charamatic to win you over right? 

Yes that's a good point usually they approach with choosing signals and making themselves available. 

[enchanted]

2 hours ago, LordFall said:

Yes that's a good point usually they approach with choosing signals and making themselves available. 

Absolutely, great chatting with you, hope you have a wonderful day. I bet many women will make themselves available to you in the next few days.