Human Relationships & Socializing Is Fun But Tiring

[Miguel1]

So for the past month, I have been socializing more, as spring got me more into a social mood.

But gosh, all the social and human games are truly tiring. If you value honesty and truth, this is a nightmare.

To be good socially, you almost have to let go of all your higher cognitive and spiritual development and turn primtive. The more primitive, the better (without breaking any laws).

For example, never ever have any meaningful, logical conversations. Not with girls nor guys. This will not end in anything good.

Always focus on bumping emotional state of people. This is key. The only issue is that, in order to bump the emotional state of others, you have to get more in touch of that part of your brain, yourself. Which is fun for a while, but tiring long-term as it is the less developed part of our brain.

Don’t treat people with full-on love and empathy. Seduce them, make them chase for your validation, be somewhat mean and distant etc. This has become dramatically more harder for me as my empathy has increased. I just want to treat people like they are a part of me.

People are so unconscious, that they are very gullible. As long as you seem confident and authoritative, they will trust you, and follow your lead to hell. Most people lack critical thinking, which is completely backwards and against everything we value here. And my whole being screams to encourage them to think for themselves, to stand up for yourself! But if I ever did that, all the social results I would have built up to that point with the person, would disappear into thin air. Being a mindless zombie is an addiction.

And did I mention the exhaustion from sleep being destroyed?

Socializing is almost like a 9-5 job that you do out of necessity. You have to confine yourself into a much smaller version of who you really are.

That being said, the other side of socializing is that you can also expand yourself:

Especially in nightlife, you oftentimes can really just go wild and say and scream almost anything, as long as it comes across congruent, confident and in a playful manner. Such is the nature of bumping states.

I guess I just wanted to share some of my thoughts from socializing the past month. It’s been lots of fun, but also very tiring as I have to go against a lot of the things that I value. Relationships with people in these scenes are not built on truth and honesty, but short-term bumped up states, seduction and lies.

How sustainable can that be? And more importantly, how tiring is it to keep on maintaining the falsehood, as someone who values truth?

I feel like for an ENF(J), it is harder than for an ENF(P), as I am very structured and future-orientated. Especially as I mature more.

Being good socially requires you to be chaotic and short-term focused.

My mind requires and looks for meaning to almost anything I do. If there is no long-term potential, then my mind naturally asks:

What is the point?

But don’t get me wrong, there is value to having fun in the moment. My mind is just not wired for it as much as other minds are.

My more mature ENFJ mind also seeks social harmony. I would just love to make everyone feel good and at peace, and shower everyone with warmth, compassion, empathy and love — but all these would be immediately punished. It’s awful.

It’s truly a wild jungle out there. Instead of men physically fighting over girls, we fight emotionally. We are not much different to animals.

Edited yesterday at 09:21 PM by Miguel1

[Spiral]

Everything has a cost, even spiritual development. I’m not sure I’d consider it worth it for me

I would blame Leo if wasn’t so developed 

Edited yesterday at 06:05 PM by Spiral

[Valach]

I feel you and I am dealing with similiar issue. That being said, you do not need to socially "succeed" with most people no? If you are looking for girlfriend that is, you can try to look for someone more conscious and mature?

[Eskilon]

Yeah I agree with you. It's just too shallow to be honest. Unless you are trying to get a girl or really horny, I find almost no reason to go out and try to meet people.

One thing I also noticed is the sheer neediness in people's face. You can almost touch their sense of lack and need for attention. Like they are beggars and not confortable in being alone and thus they socialize a lot. 

Edited 5 hours ago by Eskilon

[Miguel1]

2 hours ago, Valach said:

If you are looking for girlfriend that is, you can try to look for someone more conscious and mature?

Hahaha, have you tried to find these people?

[Miguel1]

1 hour ago, Eskilon said:

One thing I also noticed is the sheer neediness in people's face. You can almost touch their sense of lack and need for attention. Like they are beggars and not confortable in being alone and thus they socialize a lot. 

The ego cannot survive without attention and validation.

[LordFall]

This is why social circle game is so important. It allows you to define the rules of the environment. If you try to be a high level player in someone else's game, irregardless you have to adopt their paradigm. And in clubs and nightlife, that paradigm is indeed quite low.

Have you ever tried hosting your own event? You 

On 5/17/2026 at 0:41 PM, Miguel1 said:

For example, never ever have any meaningful, logical conversations. Not with girls nor guys. This will not end in anything good.

I host photoshoots and talk to women about bitcoin or whatever else is on my mind at the time. When the environment you've curated takes care of good vibes and flow then you can talk about whatever you want. The problem with nightlife is people use it as an escape from their regular life where they have to be logical. If your environment becomes part of their life then it serves a different function altogether. Thus why a lot of women sleep with their bosses because their missions are intertwined and the boss's logical thoughts become valuable to her unlike some random dude rambling about something boring to her at the club. 

[Miguel1]

5 minutes ago, LordFall said:

I host photoshoots and talk to women about bitcoin or whatever else is on my mind at the time.

Thanks for chipping in.

Bitcoin is a trendy topic, and an emotionally charged for a normie. By meaningful, I mean something actually meaningful, like the work we do here, or anything remotely resembling it.

I have not hosted parties. I’m sure I would be a great host.

Edited 3 hours ago by Miguel1

[UnbornTao]

And what is glazing oneself while putting others down if not part of the "human games" you're critiquing? Adopting an 'elitist' mentality, wanting to feel like a special person while doing normal things, is part of the same thing. It's almost as if you're forced to be there, having fun, and contrary to your values. Are you sure about that?

It's like when people say they didn't mean to do something they did - nice bullshit, but if "the truth" is really your goal and direction, that's something to own.

How about getting clear on why you do what you do, and use this as an opportunity to actually become conscious of something beyond glamorizing one's self-image?

Edited 7 minutes ago by UnbornTao

[LordFall]

23 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

Thanks for chipping in.

Bitcoin is a trendy topic, and an emotionally charged for a normie. By meaningful, I mean something actually meaningful, like the work we do here, or anything remotely resembling it.

I have not hosted parties. I’m sure I would be a great host.

You're welcome. Yeah really hosting events is all about empathy and understanding what other people are looking for. Try it out, it's really fun and fulfilling.

The way I see it the more tangible you can make the value you offer others the more predictable the quality of your interactions will be. I'm an INTP so system thinking is beautiful to me so Bitcoin is beautiful to me. You can't call taking charge of your financial situation and thus the level of freedom you will have over the next decades of your life not meaningful. That's just one example but generally I tend to have a lot of success talking to model type women about business and finance because I'm a good mix of right brain and left brain which is usually lacking in the creative space.

What industry are you in? I'm a big believer in combining your socialization and your work. Synergy is a phenomenal thing to unlock in life so you don't have to take time away from your socialization to work and vice versa. 

Edited 3 hours ago by LordFall

[Valach]

1 hour ago, Miguel1 said:

Hahaha, have you tried to find these people?

I am trying, it is very hard indeed. But I cant be bothered to hangout with shallow people so what choice do I have?

[Miguel1]

@LordFall It makes sense that with more entrepreneurial minded people like some models are, speaking business can work better. Top that with flirting and you are good.

The issue still remains, that to build a social circle, you need to do general socializing first and probably always to maintain a good flow of leads into your circle.

Edited 2 hours ago by Miguel1

[Miguel1]

17 minutes ago, Valach said:

I am trying, it is very hard indeed. But I cant be bothered to hangout with shallow people so what choice do I have?

You are more likely to figure out a way to have a good time with shallow people, than to find higher conscious people to date.

[Valach]

2 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

You are more likely to figure out a way to have a good time with shallow people, than to find higher conscious people to date.

Sure, I do have "normal" friends that I enjoy hanging out with and joking around. It has its place and I am glad I have those friends. But I also want deeper friendships and a relationship with potential life partner. And me going out to socialize with people I do not intend on keeping in my life is not aligned with that goal. So I socialize way less and that is just fine.