Mastering Your Mind

[eTorro]

Hi.

After years of consciousness work, I got to a point of clarity. I call it 'mind mastery.'

I deconstructed lots of neurosis; anger, impatience, and whatever is of the ego.

I saw Leo's Instagram reel about mastering your mind.

Now that I have more clarity, I realized that I don't have to play the game of finances that much.

I have family members who do just that, and they're very judgmental. If you're not making money, they secretly see you as incapable or not bright. They judge based on financial success.

A family member told me to make money. They've been following me for years, and they sense that my values system changed. They notice I'm not longer hyper-active and insecure. They notice the level of calmness. 

But a thought has been torturing me: "Even though you become conscious, healthy, and strong, they won't respect you if you're not making money."

And that's true. I sensed their judgement towards me.

This is not a condemnation on my part, but I want to ask how should I deal with it. Because it does happen. Everything is seen through the lens of money, especially if you have business people in the family.

To them, you're not worthy of respect if you're not forcing yourself to make money.

But I don't care about money that much at the level of clarity.

Thoughts?

 

[aurum]

@eTorro

It depends on how bad your financial situation is.

If you make good money but your family is still hounding you, that's wrong.

But if you can't afford the things you need, then you're wrong and are likely using spirituality as a bypass.

Spirituality is not an excuse to opt out of money, because money is just the way humans survive. Unless you're not going to survive, you need money and will be a burden on others if you don't have it. Someone will need to finance your spiritual bypassing. Likely your family.

Not to mention that you shouldn't even aim just to be a "lack" of a burden. You should actively aim to be a source of value for others in your life, such that they can lean on you.

Edited 18 hours ago by aurum

[gettoefl]

Money is a tool of comparison. Make nothing or make millions. but don't tell anyone. Keep finances quiet. If you are not making ends meet you need to take stock and do better. Survival is needed and until it is figured out, nothing else matters. Forget any mind-mastery until you have a good chunk in the bank. To have money makes one invulnerable and unstoppable. To have none makes one a slave and a burden.

[eTorro]

I'm working. I have a nine-to-five job. I have a piece of bread on the table and I don't struggle when it comes to paying the bills.

I'm not a burden because I'm taking care of myself. I never ask for free money or anything free. I earn stuff.

I'm living a simple life. That's an issue for my family members in the sense that they judge me for not striving to make six figures.

What's wrong with that? Only asking.

It's not an issue if I can't afford going on a vacation. I simply enjoy a peaceful life.

If I were to go for a business, or anything, that would take an enormous amount of time, huge stress, and it would not be fulfilling. I'd rather have a job that I enjoy rather than burning myself out just to make millions. And family members don't appreciate that. That's why I'm asking. The spiritual path is not appreciated.

Edited 8 hours ago by eTorro

[caspex]

They are at a level of development where the best medium of comparison they have is money. 

 

By the way, how do you know you have achieved mind mastery? How do you define it?

[gettoefl]

We only need care about another's opinion if they are paying our bills. If not what they say is irrelevant. If you have money, you can forge your own path irrespective of another's input. Money=freedom.

[eTorro]

1 hour ago, caspex said:

By the way, how do you know you have achieved mind mastery? How do you define it?

Because I wasn't able to concentrate—I had a scattered mind, and when I was trying to read a paragraph, I was getting hyperactive. The moment I started to read a sentence, frustration bubbled up to the point of becoming extremely hyperactive.

It's that type of inner mental pain where your body starts to blush and overheat.

In other words, I couldn't focus at all. Reading was mentally painful—so mentally painful. Also, I couldn't write. I was almost illiterate.

I had so many issues that I can't describe them all. Social anxiety, awkwardness, lack of energy, depression, and other issues.

I had to go through "mental fire" to purge all that crap. I had to force myself to focus, let go, and continue to surrender emotions, feelings, negative thoughts, neurotic patterns, shame, sadness, and so forth.

It took me five years to notice a bit of progress, and I kept going.

After seven years, I got the point of being able to write, read books, not lose my cool at my job, and basically be at ease with myself among people.

I had many barriers, and it's almost difficult to explain because it was really intense—for example, people couldn't tolerate my awkwardness and my self-consciousness issues; it made them so uncomfortable. Just my presence made them uncomfortable.

I had to solve a lot of crap.

That is because I'm coming from a family of alcoholics and depressed mothers. Abandonment issues, trauma, violence, and so forth.

But I don't see myself as a victim. I had to overcome lots of crap. Also, I had sleep apnea from an early age, and I was mouth brething. I never got into deep-sleep phases, so I was always tired, but tired to the point of being exhausted. I thought it was normal. So I had to pursue spirituality and awakening, and deconstruct all that neurotic, suicidal pain.

Edited 7 hours ago by eTorro

[eTorro]

1 hour ago, caspex said:

They are at a level of development where the best medium of comparison they have is money. 

That's not an issue for me. The only disappointment is that they think of themselves as better human beings. And they look at you with an air of superiority.

They're family members, and that's puzzling to me.

Just because you don't want to become a millionaire, that doesn't mean you are an inferior human being, or less capable than them, or less intelligent.

That's what I don't get—what's wrong with people?

And it is with others, too—people who come to the workplace and own businesses have that attitude, where they think of themselves as better human beings. You can sense that by the way they interact with you and with other people in their class. They treat human beings differently.

Maybe I shouldn't be surprised; perhaps that's the modern world?

[gettoefl]

19 minutes ago, eTorro said:

That's what I don't get—what's wrong with people?

Mind mastery is everyone is perfect and I'm the problem.

[eTorro]

42 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

Mind mastery is everyone is perfect and I'm the problem.

I agree. If you're not speaking from an ego point of view, there's no judgment. Nothing bothers you whatsoever.

[Rishabh R]

@eTorro Your doing great work by Mastering your mind since mind influences action,living,emotions etc.

My thought is that consider mind mastery more important during failure,adversity and suffering. For example applying Growth mindset during failure (I personally applied it for more than a year when I was facing rejections constantly in my campus placement and finally I got into corporate sector ),reframing your experience during suffering and adversity . Final take of mine on this impressive post is - Consider questioning your thoughts for checking their accuracy and validity. They all are path of mind mastery since, bullshit thoughts and assumptions are the mind's default way of operating in the world which create problems since mental and physical world are intimately connected.

[gettoefl]

11 minutes ago, eTorro said:

I agree. If you're not speaking from an ego point of view, there's no judgment. Nothing bothers you whatsoever.

So cut off family's toxicity root and branch. Still entertain them just don't listen.

[Joseph Maynor]

2 hours ago, gettoefl said:

So cut off family's toxicity root and branch. Still entertain them just don't listen.

And how has this worked out for you?

[gettoefl]

6 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

And how has this worked out for you?

There are two ways to be in a family. One is to sometimes take initiative and sometimes reach out. The other is to do high days and holidays with them for the sake of unity and duty. I do the latter - what you might term minimal involvement. I don't support their values nor partake in their flashiness and materialism and feed it no fuel. This I suspect is a strain for them but it is a necessary step for me. I choose not to go no contact in order that they have the semblance of a functional family and maybe one day they reform their lives. I stick around them sacrificially because I love them despite who they are.

[Joseph Maynor]

4 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

There are two ways to be in a family. One is to sometimes take initiative and sometimes reach out. The other is to do high days and holidays with them for the sake of unity and duty. I do the latter - what you might term minimal involvement. I don't support their values nor partake in their flashiness and materialism and feed it no fuel. This I suspect is a strain for them but it is a necessary step for me. I choose not to go no contact in order that they have the semblance of a functional family and maybe one day they reform their lives. I stick around them sacrificially because I love them despite who they are.

I don't know about this.  I respect your position.  I feel like this is all impersonal talk online to a degree.  

[gettoefl]

18 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

I don't know about this.  I respect your position.  I feel like this is all impersonal talk online to a degree.  

Not all. Can only speak for yourself right?

[Joseph Maynor]

Just now, gettoefl said:

Not all. Can only speak for yourself right?

I already have this.  I'm asking you.  

[gettoefl]

40 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

I already have this.  I'm asking you.  

I explained in copious detail. Feel free to ask if anything is unclear.

[Joseph Maynor]

6 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

I explained in copious detail. Feel free to ask if anything is unclear.

I'm not saying I disagree with you.  Whatever works for you, have at it. 

[gettoefl]

2 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

I'm not saying I disagree with you.  Whatever works for you, have at it. 

I don't say it's good for another. It is a hard-gained lifestyle choice to protect peace and harmony. Like they say all happy families are the same. All unhappy families are unhappy in a unique way.