Kindness is the #1 global partner preference

[Valach]

1 hour ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Its sorta weird cos I feel like red pill isn't even used as a term anymore. But the idea behind it persists. 

In a simplified way it appears it's just - broken people attract broken people. Both aren't able to recognize secure healthy love and approach it with their own beliefs (and loaded expectations) regarding what love is.

The again, these days, who actually gets raised right to KNOW secure love? There are many who claim there are only around 20% of people with healthy attachment styles. And those people typically do not use dating apps, and pair up relatively quickly. 

I've already been through my own healing from a lot of the wrong ideas of what love is.

I honestly doubt that there are as many as 20%, more like 5%. Obviously depending on the location, but i can count on the fingers of one hand how many truly secure and healthy people have i met.

 

btw. Why do you think insecure people use dating apps and secure dont?

Edited 3 hours ago by Valach

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Just now, Valach said:

I honestly doubt that there are as many as 20%, more like 5%. Obviously depending on the location, but i can count on the fingers of one hand how many truly secure and healthy people have i met.

You're not wrong - I see 20% tauted by reputable people who study attachment theory and dating patterns. But then my experience says... Fuck no. 

[Valach]

1 minute ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

You're not wrong - I see 20% tauted by reputable people who study attachment theory and dating patterns. But then my experience says... Fuck no. 

It is hard to evaluate since i am also biased obviously. But i feel like most people are simply not self aware to admit how insecure they are. Many of my friends if i explained attachment theory to them would claim they are secure eventhough i can fully see how much insecurity they have.

it is kinda bizzare. If i could snap my fingers and heal everyone over nigth, the society with its capitalistic model would probably crumble.

[Jirh]

No one is 100% healthy. Most are below 60% I would say.

Life is hard. We're all broken in some ways. We're all wounded.

But there are severe, extreme cases. Avoid anyone who smokes, drinks away, avoids, bypasses, runs away, etc...

Don't look for healthy. Look for survivor, healing, or trying to heal.

And if someone healthier comes your way, hang on to them.