Kindness is the #1 global partner preference

[Valach]

1 hour ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Its sorta weird cos I feel like red pill isn't even used as a term anymore. But the idea behind it persists. 

In a simplified way it appears it's just - broken people attract broken people. Both aren't able to recognize secure healthy love and approach it with their own beliefs (and loaded expectations) regarding what love is.

The again, these days, who actually gets raised right to KNOW secure love? There are many who claim there are only around 20% of people with healthy attachment styles. And those people typically do not use dating apps, and pair up relatively quickly. 

I've already been through my own healing from a lot of the wrong ideas of what love is.

I honestly doubt that there are as many as 20%, more like 5%. Obviously depending on the location, but i can count on the fingers of one hand how many truly secure and healthy people have i met.

 

btw. Why do you think insecure people use dating apps and secure dont?

Edited 23 hours ago by Valach

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Just now, Valach said:

I honestly doubt that there are as many as 20%, more like 5%. Obviously depending on the location, but i can count on the fingers of one hand how many truly secure and healthy people have i met.

You're not wrong - I see 20% tauted by reputable people who study attachment theory and dating patterns. But then my experience says... Fuck no. 

[Valach]

1 minute ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

You're not wrong - I see 20% tauted by reputable people who study attachment theory and dating patterns. But then my experience says... Fuck no. 

It is hard to evaluate since i am also biased obviously. But i feel like most people are simply not self aware to admit how insecure they are. Many of my friends if i explained attachment theory to them would claim they are secure eventhough i can fully see how much insecurity they have.

it is kinda bizzare. If i could snap my fingers and heal everyone over nigth, the society with its capitalistic model would probably crumble.

[Jirh]

No one is 100% healthy. Most are below 60% I would say.

Life is hard. We're all broken in some ways. We're all wounded.

But there are severe, extreme cases. Avoid anyone who smokes, drinks away, avoids, bypasses, runs away, etc...

Don't look for healthy. Look for survivor, healing, or trying to heal.

And if someone healthier comes your way, hang on to them.

[Tenebroso]

10 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@Tenebroso This would really be useful to you, if you take the moment to try to understand attachment theory:

 

The reason why The Red Pill emerged in the first place is because young men listened to what mainstream society and women said observed reality and realized it was 99.999% garbage. Young men are refusing to be gaslighted. I am liberal politically, I don't care about muscles, building status, young women, cars, money etc........I care about figuring out what is true and embracing that reality and the truth is that women do not care about the things that they claim to care about.

You don't want kind, safe, honest, emotionally available men. You are just as sexual and lustful as men, you care about looks just as much as men if not more and women are even more violent than people think. Even the very best of you are not incredible, intuitive, evolved, emotionally intelligent goddesses you all think you, not even close. Ask yourself this question, do women even deserve good men? I increasingly think you don't.

[Ulax]

7 hours ago, Jirh said:

No one is 100% healthy. Most are below 60% I would say.

Life is hard. We're all broken in some ways. We're all wounded.

But there are severe, extreme cases. Avoid anyone who smokes, drinks away, avoids, bypasses, runs away, etc...

Don't look for healthy. Look for survivor, healing, or trying to heal.

And if someone healthier comes your way, hang on to them.

I agree.

I am exception though. Single ladies please dm.

[Ulax]

25 minutes ago, Tenebroso said:

The reason why The Red Pill emerged in the first place is because young men listened to what mainstream society and women said observed reality and realized it was 99.999% garbage. Young men are refusing to be gaslighted. I am liberal politically, I don't care about muscles, building status, young women, cars, money etc........I care about figuring out what is true and embracing that reality and the truth is that women do not care about the things that they claim to care about.

You don't want kind, safe, honest, emotionally available men. You are just as sexual and lustful as men, you care about looks just as much as men if not more and women are even more violent than people think. Even the very best of you are not incredible, intuitive, evolved, emotionally intelligent goddesses you all think you, not even close. Ask yourself this question, do women even deserve good men? I increasingly think you don't.

What is your evidence for these claims?

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Tenebroso to be quite frank, again. I repeat myself - you don't know what women want. 

Don't be content to lay down and cry rather than try to take action to change your cognitive bias. You have severe victim mindset. 

Try to understand that video I linked. It might help unravel the false meanings you have created. 

[Valach]

@Natasha Tori Maru You probably missed the last part about me asking why do you think secures do not use dating apps since i edited it. I am not saying I don't disagree, I am just really curious about that!

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Valach I think I misspoke actually - I think secures do use dating apps but are on them way less prior to paring up.

I think they get used as a tool to filter heavily, efficiently and quickly. The 2 secure people I know used them to filter their preferences and moved off them right away. They didn't get caught in 'paralysis by analysis' of all the options out there. Well this is what they told me, anyway. 

They could be wrong - sample size of 2 there 🥹🥹🥹

[Valach]

31 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@Valach I think I misspoke actually - I think secures do use dating apps but are on them way less prior to paring up.

I think they get used as a tool to filter heavily, efficiently and quickly. The 2 secure people I know used them to filter their preferences and moved off them right away. They didn't get caught in 'paralysis by analysis' of all the options out there. Well this is what they told me, anyway. 

They could be wrong - sample size of 2 there 🥹🥹🥹

Then you know more secures already than I do haha. Thanks for the answer:)