How do I LEVEL UP?

[IslandWild]

Hey everyone! So either subconsciously or by reckless circumstance I took a long break from the knowledge gathering (mental masturbation) part of self-development so I could "go it alone" so to speak, and just follow my own understanding about things to take action for about 3 years, which was the last time I frequented this place. I also stopped seeing my therapist at the time. This ended up having mixed results. To sum it up I had my longest relationship come and go, which was ironically the only one that ended nastily (I think she cheated on me but I never "confirmed" it. Oh well). I also ended up starting the career I wanted as a Paramedic, and doing Firefighting part-time as well. I broke my hand Firefighting a little over a month ago so it's given me a lot of time to think about things as I'm off work, and I've decided to dive back into all this.

To give a sense of where I am at, I feel like finally getting my feet in the water with my careers has lifted a large weight off my shoulders that I've had for many years, I've noticed about half of my general depressive feelings have gone away. My self-esteem has gotten better, and I'm WAY more content knowing that my survival/financial situation is being taking care of because of my work. I'm using my body and my mind on a daily basis to resolve chaos in the world and help people at their worst moments, which feels great.

However, I still feel like there is another level to my growth and potential I need to start pursuing now, and that I know I am capable of. I don't just want to rest on my laurels and be content. Obviously from the nature of my work I see people from ALL walks of life, and how reality can just abruptly and brutally SLAP you in the face one day with death or severe injury/illness. This of course is also a vulnerability of mine. I just turned 33 and I realize I will likely never have more energy or capability than I do now, so I'd like to maximize this time while I can, before reality decides it's my turn to "get slapped", so to speak.

I know I'd like to help others and the world in an even broader interpersonal sense than what my work allows me to do locally. Either through coaching or teaching etc. so I can help people with their mental/psychological/spiritual health, in whatever medium that suits my abilities best. Apart of growing and "leveling up" myself further will make that easier to accomplish as I go forward.

TLDR - I guess what I'm asking is for the people here that are mostly self-actualized, after you established yourself in a comfortable/ideal spot in your life, what effective actions and things did you do for yourself to take that next MAJOR steps in your life so you weren't just coasting? I don't just want to feel "mostly" good and be content with paying my rent, and all the basic shit that the majority of people seem to be happy with until they die. I want to reach the fucking MOUNTAINTOP of my own journey, whatever that ends up looking like.

How did YOU get direction to the top of your own personal mountain? Do you just climb and figure out the holds as you went along?

 

[Hasson_Miah]

Since the posted asked me How do you level up. 

I need to ask

Name three things you have been doing well and name three things you have been doing well on a consistent basis. 

well = you are efficient at doing, can be anything from cleaning to deadlifting. 

consistent = more than 5 months. 

Well begin there and then continue on the thread, since the headline asked how do you level up.

[bazera]

On 17/03/2026 at 1:46 PM, IslandWild said:

I guess what I'm asking is for the people here that are mostly self-actualized, after you established yourself in a comfortable/ideal spot in your life, what effective actions and things did you do for yourself to take that next MAJOR steps in your life so you weren't just coasting?

Depends, what do you want out of your life? What are your prioritites at the moment? How aligned is your life to your highest values? What are your highest values anyways?

You can't use somebody else's experience as a template, depends on where you are in life.

[IslandWild]

14 hours ago, Hasson_Miah said:

Name three things you have been doing well and name three things you have been doing well on a consistent basis.

1. I show up. Even when I am sick or don't want to go to something, I basically always arrive. The best ability is availability as they say.

2. I take responsibility for things that aren't necessarily mine, or "my problem". It's not really my personality as I am generally a passive/reserved person, but I make an effort in this area because I know it will round me out.

3. I am a genuine person. I make a concerted effort to be honest with people about my values/goals and don't waste time manipulating or trying to get something from people, and if the relationship is transactional I make it clear. I try to respect their time and energy as much as my own.

[IslandWild]

14 hours ago, bazera said:

Depends, what do you want out of your life? What are your prioritites at the moment? How aligned is your life to your highest values? What are your highest values anyways?

I mean I kind of laid it out explicitly in my post I thought. I want to help lots of people not just physically, but mentally and perhaps spiritually as well. I'm already doing half of that from my current jobs, I just don't want to feel too content because my intuition tells me that's going to be a trap.

I certainly would like to make more money but not just for selfish material reasons, but to use it as a resource to help my surrounding environment and community in some way. I don't particularly care if my impact scales that high, I just want my presence to be a positive, powerful thing that is felt if that makes sense.

[Joshe]

You've already leveled up. If you did nothing but work as a paramedic for the rest of your life, that's already enough to die proud on your deathbed having lived a meaningful, responsible, impactful life.

So I'd maintain that first and foremost and I'd put a check on the desire to be more, and I'd fully embody my lot and only my lot for a good while.

Paramedics would be held in much higher regard in a more sane world. As far as I'm concerned, they're in the trenches doing God's work. I'm actually struggling to come up with a career that could facilitate your self-development better. If you remain conscious, the career itself would develop you far more across every line of development than any self-dev or spiritual bootcamp you could fathom.

It's also worth considering that even if you were a successful self-dev coach, it would be hard to do more good as a coach than you could do as a paramedic. Becoming a coach could easily be a step down if your goal is to actually be of service. 

And spoiler alert: There is no mountaintop. The mountain top is a narrative the ego thinks will satisfy it.

The mountaintop narrative works like this: ego generates a destination it will never let you reach, because reaching it would end the story, and the story is the ego. The ego identifies a gap between what you are and what you could be. This creates a a hunger. Close that gap (reach the mountaintop) and you'll finally feel complete and the hunger will be satisfied. But the ego has no interest in actually closing the gap because the closed gap means the ego would have nothing left to do and it would die, so of course it creates another mountaintop, to infinity, until you see the mechanism. 

"Ascending" is the ego's favorite trajectory.

This is not to say don't strive for better. Just to remain suspicious of what actually is fueling it.

[HopefulMan]

I have a few thoughts on this, but you wouldn't consider me traditionally successful, but I've thoughts for more than a decade about this because it has been a huge problem finding "my purpose":

Congrats for reaching such a point, hopefully all of the effort you put into all of your life will keep getting easier. At least for me the point of my life is not to live SO I CAN grind my teeth. If I want something is results, not constantly exerting high-effort 

---

You are thinking "wrong" because you are looking for something that doesn't exist. A specific point to which you will arrive and that will not happen, no matter how aligned and how much progress you make. 

The reason is because with each step you take YOU change and THE WORLD changes. So, the way to think about this is in direction, not coordinates.

Think of you standing like a dot in the middle of a circle. You are trying to look for a point to walk towards, "the point of fulfillment", but you should look for the "cone of fulfillment". You take out everything you know you don't want and then you try things that look most interesting TO YOU. The more you walk and learn the tighter the cone.

Hopefully that analogy makes sense. 

---

Ok, so I told you to look for interesting things (you know lots about this from what I can tell from your post) and now it is time to try

Because you will find not answers in theory, you will find them in the action

The answer being: you feel good doing it, you see yourself doing it for a long time, etc

Just look for something and try it out for 1-3-6 months. Exploration is fun because you get to do it without pressure and you learn a lot. I did a writing challenge where I'd write a post daily for 30 days and I discovered I actually liked writing, when I thought I really disliked it. I saw some uniqueness in the way I think, etc

Now I am coaching 2 of my friends, because like you, I like helping. Just trying it out and in this regard results have been more negative than positive. But conclusions cannot be taken without examination because I believe the reason is because I do it in zoom and I am not a skilled coach. But that is also great learning

---

Glad I wrote the comment before reading the other ones.  @Joshe wrote a great comment. Ego can be a dangerous thing. He reminded me of something, a useful question to ask yourself when you are thinking of possible directions is:

"If I get no money, no status and could tell nobody about this. Would I do it?". Do it privately and see how you feel about it because those are things the ego loves to chase

--

Again, glad you are in the position and keep living life and helping people!

 

[WonderSeeker]

2 hours ago, Joshe said:

You've already leveled up. If you did nothing but work as a paramedic for the rest of your life, that's already enough to die proud on your deathbed having lived a meaningful, responsible, impactful life.

So I'd maintain that first and foremost and I'd put a check on the desire to be more, and I'd fully embody my lot and only my lot for a good while.

Paramedics would be held in much higher regard in a more sane world. As far as I'm concerned, they're in the trenches doing God's work. I'm actually struggling to come up with a career that could facilitate your self-development better. If you remain conscious, the career itself would develop you far more across every line of development than any self-dev or spiritual bootcamp you could fathom.

It's also worth considering that even if you were a successful self-dev coach, it would be hard to do more good as a coach than you could do as a paramedic. Becoming a coach could easily be a step down if your goal is to actually be of service. 

And spoiler alert: There is no mountaintop. The mountain top is a narrative the ego thinks will satisfy it.

The mountaintop narrative works like this: ego generates a destination it will never let you reach, because reaching it would end the story, and the story is the ego. The ego identifies a gap between what you are and what you could be. This creates a a hunger. Close that gap (reach the mountaintop) and you'll finally feel complete and the hunger will be satisfied. But the ego has no interest in actually closing the gap because the closed gap means the ego would have nothing left to do and it would die, so of course it creates another mountaintop, to infinity, until you see the mechanism. 

"Ascending" is the ego's favorite trajectory.

This is not to say don't strive for better. Just to remain suspicious of what actually is fueling it.

I agree with @Joshe 

False desire is chasing the wrong carrot on a stick, while being blind to the fact you already have the carrot in your hand.

You don't need to be a spiritual coach — just be a spiritual example. Maybe if you are a paramedic long enough you can step into some kind of a chief role. I don't know how those units are structured, but something you could work on is leadership and behind the scenes simply become more conscious in the Peter Ralston of Buddhist enlightenment sense (which will have a massive, direct, positive impact on your work).

I'm not super developed yet, but that's what I'm doing with my career as a teacher/scholar. It's a beatiful thing.