Venting about my selfishness and right and wrong

[Spiritual Warrior]

I've gone on two dates with a girl and she is very into me, all I have to do is set up the logistics and this will lead us to an intimate experience with each other. I am NOT looking for something serious right now as I want to date around with multiple women and I also don't see a future with her. I intuit that the right thing to do here is to let her know that I am not looking to turn this into a serious relationship as this is how I would like to be treated if the roles were reversed. The issue with this is if I tell the girl this before sex then I might not get the sex. 

Now you might think that I'm cold and crass for allowing myself to think like this, but I think a vast majority of us men have this exact thought, we are just unaware of it or will not admit it to others. I am doing the opposite, I am highlighting my own selfishness as highly conscious people are built on the foundation of brute honesty and truth, even if and especially if it paints you in a negative light. 

I know what the right thing to do is... the question is... will I actually do it? The fact that I am contemplating this and am not gung ho about it shows to me how selfish and biased I am. I just said that this is what I would want from the girl, yet I'm not going to give her the same courtesy? Double standards at its finest out of pure selfishness. Fuck that - I am going to tell her before having sex with her. This is the highly conscious and truthful way to go about it. 

I want to be a player in order to become an attractive man but I would like to do it in a highly conscious way - I have much to learn but this is a good start. I am going to seduce this woman while being COMPLETELY truthful and honest with her. And if it doesn't work out because of that I can sleep well tonight knowing that I did the right thing. 

Curious as to what ya'll think. Feel free to share opinions. 

[thierry]

14 minutes ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

Curious as to what ya'll think. Feel free to share opinions. 

[thierry]

(Sorry it buged)

Glad to see you’re carrying the weight of being good on your shoulders it’ll build your soul

Do whatever you want. If you feel too weak to tell the truth, you can do that. If you feel strong enough to say it, then of course I’d encourage you to.

I was in the same situation 3-4years ago. I sent the woman a short message saying I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship. She replied, ‘no worries :)’. On the next date, we ended up sleeping together. It really depends on the girl. I honestly didn’t expect that myself.

 

[Spiritual Warrior]

8 minutes ago, thierry said:

Do whatever you want. If you feel too weak to tell the truth, you can do that. If you feel strong enough to say it, then of course I’d encourage you to.

Thanks for the reply. I enjoy your flexible view on the matter. We as humans are free to do as we please. There are no cosmic consequences to our actions, or at least not that I'm aware of. 

[Lila9]

Be transparent. You are dating, she may have more serious intentions.

Let her make an informed decision before she sleeps with you. Don’t try to control or manipulate the situation to get your favored outcome. This strips her of her right to make an informed decision. Otherwise, she may get hurt/traumatized. Sex is a very risky, intimate, and vulnerable thing, do it consciously.

There is nothing masculine about sleeping with women by deluding them into thinking that you are serious when you are not. This is low-conscious behavior. 

For your information, we are humans, not objects or toys.

 

[aurum]

5 hours ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

The issue with this is if I tell the girl this before sex then I might not get the sex. 

And?

Just tell her.

[Spiritual Warrior]

2 hours ago, Lila9 said:

There is nothing masculine about sleeping with women by deluding them into thinking that you are serious when you are not. This is low-conscious behavior. 

For your information, we are humans, not objects or toys.

Appreciate the candidness. You're right, this is low conscious behavior - not something that I want to be a part of. 

[Spiritual Warrior]

49 minutes ago, aurum said:

And?

Just tell her.

You right

[Hojo]

My opinion is you are thinking too much and fking yourself.

You have no idea what the woman is thinking and you have no idea what you want. Now you have thought yourself into a moral corner for no reason and are self cucking. Cause now you HAVE to do it to stay morally good.

Imagine if you didnt think about all this BS and just went with the flow.

You could just wait and not think about it then have sex and after if she was like I want to be serious, you could just say your not into it. But since you are spam thinking now you cant.

The true self cuck. Stop thinking. Just say I dont know. Let the woman think about it and free yourself from this madness. This is brain washing!

Being a conscious player is a hypocritical term. You cant play a seducer then tell the woman you are playing the seducer character. Thats not playing the character, thats pretend playing the character.

Its like being a zombie at a horroshow and scaring someone and then taking off the mask and whispering hey Im not really a zombie. Way to ruin the fun. The woman like to play characters and they like to think about the characters. They want to get heartbroken, they want to get burned, they want to not be bored. Anything but being bored, you bore them with these tactics. They want the drama.

Edited 22 hours ago by Hojo

[Valach]

@Hojo This "lets just go with the vibe" statement is what guys say to get sex full well knowing that the woman would not sleep with them otherwise. I think it is very healthy to think of your intention when going into a date. 

[Hojo]

@Valach I dont believe that statement at all. It dosent even make sense to me. Its contradictory.

5 hours ago, Valach said:

@Hojo This "lets just go with the vibe" statement is what guys say to get sex full well knowing that the woman would not sleep with them otherwise.

 

Edited 16 hours ago by Hojo

[Valach]

How does it not make sense to you.

You know you just want sex. You know the woman wants more. You know if you say you just want sex you might not get it. So you not saying it is a textbook manipulation. No better than woman pretending to be interested in a date with a guys just to get a free dinner or something like that.

[Hojo]

@Valach Do you have to openly state your desires every time you have one? Wanting to have sex is not manipulation. Going out to dinner for free food is. If you forced the woman to do it because you payed for food it is but if you dont and just go with the flow its not.

Edited 16 hours ago by Hojo

[Valach]

@HojoIf you want to be ethical then yes, being open about what you are looking for is needed. I always ask on the first date what is the other party looking for.

You don't have to force woman for it to be unethical. The woman might be having sex with you because she is expecting some sort of connection or that you are open to it at least. If you are not, it is deception essentially. Especially if you know she want to get to know you.

Like I can't believe I have to explain this on this forum.

[Hojo]

@Valach if you read my 1st post I said hes ethically cucking himself and you went against it. I said he's thinking too much and dosent know what he wants or what will happen. Stop making these bs plans and go with the flow.

You aren't explaining anything you are ignoring what I said to make a bs point.

You dont need to state your desires to be ethical. Your desires are your own and have nothing to do with other people.

You dont need to make a 15 year projection of your sex life you can just go out and do it without thinking about what will happen.

Edited 15 hours ago by Hojo

[Valach]

@Hojo

But he said himself that he just wants to have sex.  That is the part you are missing. He knows. 

[Hojo]

@ValachHe dosent know shit, hes making shit up. He could find a very hot woman and have tonnes of sex and fall in love and his worldview would change instantly. Hes making shit up about stuff that can or cant happen when he dosent have too. And cucking himself in the mean time based on made up stories hes created in his mind.

He could have sex once and get AIDS.

Edited 15 hours ago by Hojo