Most men have no idea how low level they are

[LordFall]

I guess that statement applies to women as well but I'll focus on the male dating view in this post. 

I see a lot of comments both on this forum and on social media in general of people being over dating saying that it's a shallow activity or that they've been there done that and seen all there is in the field. Thankfully I think those are people are extremely foolish and misguided and I'll make my case here as to why.

Life has levels and dating has levels. It also has skills. This means that you lack the amount of skill necessary to achieve your dating goals. This is a good thing because it means that it's in your control to learn and change and that it's not fundamentally rigged against you. People have different goals but I'll boil it down to finding someone you're deeply attracted to and compatible with and together building an awesome life that you enjoy living.

It sounds like a simple task but I've rarely seen someone achieve it and I've met douzens of couples and hundreds of game guys. Let's break it down a bit further.

People settle hard big time. I don't know if they're fully conscious that they're doing it or if they brain makes a subconscious of calculation that they're out of bandwidth to handle more of the pain of existence by themselves but they seem to give up and settle for mediocre partners. 

The basic promise and "quest" of pickup is that you'll be able to sleep with and date 10s. It's actually a common trope for guys into pickup to end up with attractive women that have serious mental health issues and usually a diagnosed condition like BPD(Borderline personality disorder.) It makes perfect sense because humans are multifaceted. BPD literally manifests as having an unstable sense of self and personality and if you're a man that hasn't found himself yet and is in the process of building his life then it's basically your counterpart. So to have a high quality relationship we need both a partner that is highly attractive but also mentally healthy and compatible with us otherwise the relationship will turn to a nightmare(been there myself, would not recommend.)

So you need both to have worked on yourself as a man and on your ability to attract beautiful in demand woman and also have worked on your boundaries and abundance so that you don't tolerate toxic and unstable women in your life. You also need to find those women that are beautiful and also are compatible with your mission and interest. Meaning that you need to have some social circle game because you don't usually find those women at a random club/bar or on dating apps. Leo himself I believe fell into this trap because I do believe he's talked about dating beautiful IG models in Vegas but hasn't found some that would be compatible with his journey and lifestyle. 

This is not impossible, it's just hard. Status works like an aggregate of all other positive qualities meaning that to be a man at the top of multiple social circles you can't be a manipulator type with no substance as a social circle means that you're exposed to people long term and they get to know you; you have to consistently show up and offer value. 

Let's now talk about finances, to have the time and money to be able to dedicate a large amount of time to your dating life you need to have a great and flexible career or business that frees you economically. Which is what 5-10% of guys? You can try to do it without this but then you have various ceilings in your dating life like the ability to relocate and the ability to host your own events or paying to get into other high status events.

Now who do you know that has achieved all of this or a big chunk? Probably no one or not many people. It's not impossible though nor even realistic. If you hangout in high level circles in big city you will see a lot of guys that hit a lot of these buckets. I moved from a bigger city Toronto where I saw guys like this all the time back to a more medium city Calgary and you already see the quality of men go down.

Now the foreseeable objection to this is you're exaggerating, plenty of people date and don't go through all this headache. That's true but if you look at those couples a lot of them bicker all the time, have a stressed out and shitty lifestyle, poor sex life, cheat on eachother, etc. 

Your relationship should be an asset to your life. Your significant other making your life more enjoyable and helping your mission and life purpose. Don't give up on it before you reach this point. If this quest doesn't appeal to you that's fine but at least don't kid yourself and think that you've made it to the top and are now "enlightened" in the dating arts and are moving on to a superior field. As someone who's lived in many cities and seen many high level socialite circles, basically every single person I've seen with this stance is actually pretty mid and delusional. You can very easily test it and throw your own events. If you've sleep with a few cute girls here and there doesn't mean that you're high status lol, doubt you can even host one cool party with many hot girls. 

I think sex, dating and relationships are a beautiful fascet of life that can teach you infinite amounts about yourself and the world. It can be used as an escape but also for deep personal development and self-actualization. Before you give up on it at least try to picture that your absolute dream dating life would be and seeing if other men are out there living it and you can probably find some who are and learn from them and achieve it too.

I think the quest for love for women is a bit different for women than men but for men it closely resembles a video game with different stats that you have to level up to get to your dream life and you guys are way too low level to think you have beaten the game lol. If you do it right it's also fun and exciting, it's not supposed to be an endless painful grind. 

I saw it clear as day with my friends before I quit doing pickup, they would get laid regularly and purposefully I would notice they would never approach the hottest girls only the mid ones. They had unconsciously figured out their best move and stuck to it. I see a lot of guys in the same boat of giving up on dating or saying they're above pickup when if they're honest with themselves deep down they know that the hottest girls are not into them because they don't have much to offer. It's all good bro life is a video game just pick what you want and level up. 

Most people underestimate how bad they are at something. I used to be a pro player at league of legends and there was concept called Elo Hell there where because its a 5v5 team game people believed that their bad teammates was holding them back from climbing rankings. But actually you have 4 teammates and there are 5 enemies so bad players help you climb and as a booster that got paid to level up peoples accounts the average player was so bad at the game like not that far off from if they let their dog play the game. Real life is similar why do you think the world is fucked cuz there are experts at finance playing the game and winning. 

I started hosting modelling events and other high status events and it really showed me how high the ceiling is. I have a guy I throw the events with who's a multimillionaire and we do a podcast together, it's allowed me to meet tons of really cool, interesting and beautiful women and I've only started to dip my toes into what's possible. This is also only in Canada so that doesn't even include international events and trips and events that you can't even unlock unless you're gonna spend multiple tens of thousands just on the entry level. 

An easy tip for social circle niches is corporate, finance and crypto events. That field attracts really smart and hot women 25-35 that you don't find in the traditional nightlife scene. Yoga and wellness events can also be good but that's not really in my hobbies at the moment so I can't comment. Although one of the coolest events we've ever done was at a spa village, where they have a lot of hot tubs, cold plunges and saunas so that's another cool event to host that's different from anything alcohol related. 

I've actually put my dating life on hold to work on freeing myself financially and scaling my business. I lived in Toronto and got to the point where I could date decently but the dating life I desire requires way more cashflow than I have now. I aim to take my business fully online and travelling the world with multiple beautiful women before I settle down in somewhere nice that I haven't decided yet. I'm very excited to actualize both my business and dating life and wish the same for you all. God bless and much love. 

Edited 12 hours ago by LordFall

[Elliott]

You only need to do that stuff if you're targeting materialistic women, which is an empty venture anyway. 

[Zenterus]

Crazy how different each man's "10" is.

I look at these pictures and had to squint to find maybe 2 that fit my tastes.

But I do see the value of what you're saying. Social Circle is definitely the highest form of game. If Cold Approach is hunting for food, Social Circle is farming. Way more sustainable and scalable. However, you're kidding yourself if you think you NEED to do that to get the hottest women.

No matter who you are, you have to go grocery shopping every now and then, you have to walk down the street to get somewhere, you will have a friend that drags you out to a night life venue and you will inevitably be in a position to be approached by a man daring enough to try. And all it takes is one guy who is compelling enough and has the skills to move things forward in a methodical fashion for you to be seduced.

I agree that a lot of men are delusional when it comes to dating, though. They need to improve themselves: hit the gym, learn charisma, work on your insecurities, develop some decent friendships, groom yourself etc etc. But the average guy, if willing to put himself out there and approach these attractive 10s can and will get one. These women are only human, dude. 

The 10s I've met in my life were almost all homebodies, introverted and didnt like being around people all the time. Im sure there are others who are more social, more status oriented, want to be part of a community, too. But the point is, thats not all of them. 

The highest form of game is realizing that these women are no different than you. Accept yourself fully, develop your character as a man (its a paradox, Im aware) and know there is a woman out there who will love who you are, right now.

Having that said, I will be hosting my own container event soon and will be building my own social circle out of inspiration to do so, not because I feel like thats the ultimate way to get the type of girl I want.

[Hojo]

I really dont understand how you could spend your entire life trying to attract beautiful woman, alot are annoying as hell and use their attractiveness to extract from you. Thats what you want?

You want to constantly be annoyed and fighting useless battles to feel special to have a body around that the person didnt even create?

I am not saying every attractive woman is like this but a high majority of them develop ego around it and feel that just being there as a beautiful woman is somehow an accomplishment that should be admired.

There are bigger things to achieve.

Every guy in that picture would have no hope with those woman except with money that they want to extract from them.

Being high status is a curse that should be fleed from not tried to be obtained.

Edited 3 hours ago by Hojo

[WonderSeeker]

@LordFall If that's what makes you feel like a million bucks, go get 'em.

I used to fee insecure about my dating/sex habits, but now I'll happily admit that I date only 2-3 girls per year and sleep with 1 of them (unless I have a girlfriend). Sex has never really been high priority for me and even when it was a little higher on the list, it distracted from all the other cool things I love about life.

Maybe you and your bros are just wired to want a buncha hot girls, and that's fine.

And yet, the hot ones are often the worst to be around. I never approached them in bars, not because I was scared of their hotness (laughable), but because I was "scared" of their craziness. I once f*cked a SUPER "hot" girl, which made me feel like I shot up heroin after (it felt AMAZING). But she turned out to be a total psychopath with the worst personality ever, and I had to ditch her like a high speed chase.

If she's a 10 in looks but a 2 in personality, 10+2=12 (lame). Is she's only a 7 in looks but a 9 in personality, 7+9=16 (better). I've had both and I would take the one with a surplus in personality every time. Then again, I'm demisexual, as others on this forum have pointed out.

"Demisexuality is used to describe individuals who feel sexually attracted to someone only after developing a close or strong emotional bond with them." (Wikipedia)

All of that said, it looks like you've got a killer network and I hope you crush your goals. I think you're a little bit of an outlier on this forum in terms of game skills, sex drive, and motivation (for better, worse, or both).

Only thing I'd ask is why do you care who is picking up whom and what people on the forums think? They probably aren't as dedicated to this stuff as you. You're clearly more wired for it or have convinced yourself you're invested in this lifestyle and ought to max it. Which again, nothing wrong with that, but for most people it's a stepping stone that becomes tertiary before long.

Cheers~