My Thoughts On Having Kids

[Ryan M]

Just sharing my thoughts on having kids since it’s probably a bit unconventional but I’m curious who might share this view. Don’t mean to come across triggering.

Ever since I was a little kid myself, probably around 8 years old, I thought having kids was the worst decision I could make. Here’s what goes through my head personally

Selfish reasons:

I picture myself my absolutely miserable giving away my freedom. Being tied down with way more responsibility sounds like a nightmare. My version of happiness is doing spontaneous activities like traveling, thrill seeking, and anything adventurous while having minimal problems and responsibilities to worry about.

I just don’t see the upside. I’m sure a Christmas morning with kids would be nice (it happens to be Xmas today lol) but besides rare little moments like that, I don’t see a single benefit that a dog wouldn’t provide.

There’s too much to mention but I can sum it up as money, freedom, peace of mind, good conscious, million times less potential problems, relationships with friends and partners, way less responsibilities, etc…

Selfless reasons:

I can’t imagine bringing anyone into this world. Even if it wasn’t for the fact that the world seems to be falling apart and becoming harder and harder to survive in, I still think there’s way too much pain and suffering involved, and I’ve only lived the best years of my life so far. The problem isn’t necessarily the world either, I feel like we’re mostly screwed because we’re born with brains that are literally incapable of happiness. Maybe some contentment at best, mixed with a crazy amount of suffering. Even if you just so happen to live the best life of all time that’s still the case. Nevermind if they’re born with, or go through, more problems than the average person, then the pain is just astronomical. Right now I happen to be living the life I’ve always dreamed of, I’m not depressed, and I still think all of this all of the time 😅

I wouldn’t even want to wake up my kid in the morning to go to school, I would feel too bad for him lol. I would just be thinking why the heck did I bring you into this world where you gotta get up early to go to school thousands of times, and that’s just the beginning of it all. There’s no point to you suffering through this life and the suffering you’re causing me by watching your suffering. My heart wouldn’t be able to take that alone, once you add in potential bullying, mental health problems at school and whatever else, I would probably be crying everyday thinking about it

Back to only living the best years of my life, what if I get to 80-90 years old and I’m like holy crap… the last 20-30 years of my life have been incredibly miserable, now my kids are gonna have to go through this phase of their life too??? Just to die a painful death at the end of it all…

World perspective:

I could be wrong, but I don’t see the world benefiting from me having kids either. More pollution, more resources being used, more animals being consumed.. I don’t really know if the world needs more or less people, it seems like we already have too many if anything lol. Maybe if I cared about the human race continuing for as long as possible I would have a different view but as far as I can tell a lot of people are miserable and we would probably be better off not existing at all or as animals 🙃 I’m sure a rabbit has it better than any human does anyway 😅 (at least less suffering)

Just my perspective, I don’t think anyone is right or wrong, I just know my outlook goes against the general narrative of society so I’m curious how relatable it is. Don’t mean to sound ungrateful for life and the blessings that I have, but we’re in a purgatorial realm basically and there’s no escaping that. If this was more of a heavenly realm, I would have kids right now for selfless reasons just so they can experience how amazing everything is and be truly happy most of the time.

I realize everyone is different and wants different things. I’m sure tons of people had kids and it worked out great for everyone and I’m truly happy for them. I’m not sure what my mindset says about me but at least I’ve put conscious thought into it and know exactly what I want and don’t want.  

Edited 4 hours ago by Ryan M