How to practice approaching women?

[fopylo]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSze76kidja/?igsh=bXZzNXQ4b3BzaXZn

Coincidence it popping first thing in my feed

[Zenterus]

17 hours ago, fopylo said:

 

• Regarding flirtation and escalation... Maybe I'll hold on with it a bit. Hopefully she helps with it as well, but I don't think I'm going hard with it and would be ok if we don't sleep the first time we meet. After all, the date itself seems to put more pressure on me 😂. I'll find a way to end it though.

@Zenterus If of anything, I'd like to hear you especially regarding the last part.

On 27/12/2025 at 5:22 PM, fopylo said:

 

Sounds good man. Again, its via tinder so no need to do too much flirting since the context already sets the tone for the date. 

Have fun on the date, man! Let us know how it goes. 

[fopylo]

Ok, here is the update from today:

Spoiler - there was no date eventually.

Been texting her about meeting at 17:00 today (she seemed like she wanted to meet from yesterday's talk), but she ghosted it. Sent a reminder for her just to nudge one time. She didn't answer at the boundary I set for myself so in my mind I cancelled the date and didn't do the preparations I thought of doing, even though I spent some time with chatgpt thinking of the trajectory of the date and some questions to ask. At some point during this ghosting phase I was hoping she won't answer because I was kinda turned off. So yes, a bit of a let down and I was getting anxious for nothing. Not even a practice in hand.

So I decided to rest a bit on my bed with the phone and fell a bit into scrolling tinder and even watching some porn gifs for some stimulation. I felt weak. This stimulation makes me more inhibited for socializing and less in the mood to approach. Felt more primal. I didn't really feel like approaching women today. I felt it strong as I went to work out near some beach at night and I was just feeling this inhibiting feeling, yet I at least tried releasing some of this blocked sexual energy by working out. At that point I really considered just going to get a happy ending massage.

I first went to eat dinner. After I left the place I saw the guy that's welcoming people to come in trying to convince a woman (I believe in her 30's) to come in. I was in front of her by like a few meters and just told her "yes, I was just there. The food is actually pretty good but he doesn't really know how to sell well". It was just a one liner, nothing to expect. But then she started talking to ME, and said she's traveling alone and so am I, and she offered me to go to a bar with her, could you believe? I didn't even know exactly what was happening, because on one hand I didn't know if she was kinda flirting with me and on another hand she mentioned how she's gonna meet some guys in the bar. I told her I plan to walk this street back and forth and that's it (didn't tell her why, but the reason is because I heard there's happy ending massage there). As I was walking I kinda felt like a bitch - I could've probably just stayed with her and see where things go and practice instead of heading to the massage parlor. But I was just not really in the mood and felt like an incell. She said she lives alone and we also exchanged Instagram (I suggested). I tried making eye contact, but not so easy for me to be so playful. The mood just wasn't very much there, but the thing is that I think she was a little into me by the way she also suggested I come join her and that she was very receptive to me asking for her Instagram and also she messaged me a few hours after + sent a casual video of the ocean. Who knows. I might meet her tomorrow evening for the fireworks show.

Anyways, yes, I went to the happy ending massage parlor. They are just so accessible here in Thailand. I think of it a bit like a treat for myself (it's just like 50$) and you get a massage + handjob/blowjob. It was nice but the problem is that I cum too fast. I felt a little weird telling her to relax a bit with the handjob because I was getting close to climax and in general just to kinda guide her to my needs. Felt afterwards a bit like a pussy. Going to such a thing rather than talking to women, but then again, it's all about how I frame it. After all it was a treat I thought of giving myself after those last few days of hard work going out of my comfort zone talking to women.

Thing is that I am not willing to tell this to my friends (happy ending massages I got). They know me as this cool dude, but I know that if I tell them then I'll lose respect from some people and be deemed some way. I don't want this. Of course I'd like to get back into running game, but maybe I needed this little pause.

So I come back to 7 11 to get a little snack. Then I see the British guy from my room coming with his motorbike here with some British girl. They are both drunk, and the guy was telling me how he plans to take her to the hostel room and fuck her. They were fucking in the room. Later there was a bit of a fiasco in the room because of that, but yes, a bit stingy. The guy went to a club and pulled a girl and fucked her, while I went to pay a 40 year old milf to suck my dick.

 

So overall regarding approaches - I would consider that woman from Capetown a half approach because she kinda helped lead it but I was running with her for a bit and got her Instagram. So you know what? I'll consider it as one because I still was the one to say the first thing.

Ok so regarding tinder I think it is quite useless if women choose stuff based on instantaneous mood. But anyways I hope to come back stronger. I'm supposed to meet this Chinese cute girl for a little excursion (she was beforehand in the hostel but moved to another place). I got the vibe that we might become just friends, but I don't really know by the way she shows excitement meeting. I'd like to meet her because she's kinda cute (even as a friend), but gosh I'll need to wake up in like 4.5 hours from now... Plus I'm gonna meet this woman from Capetown.

Who knows what will happen tomorrow? Until my next update 🙃

[fopylo]

Update from today:

So this morning I frantically got up getting ready just for the Chinese girl to say she had to cancel because she's a little sick. It was quite a bummer, especially after the first date's ghosting. Not only that but I concluded from the other woman I met that she is lesbian by her photos on Instagram. Shit was really going downhill every way.

But then the Chinese girl suggested we go to the trail at the afternoon, and so we went together to see the monkeys and then a bit in the sea. It was nice, but I would assume she's in her 30's because Chinese genes make them look hella young. And she told me that she is staying now at a hotel I believe with another guy and for free (?). Anyways, I was still trying to think of it like a little date just to kinda practice feeling more comfortable in that environment and practice holding conversation and maybe a bit of playing. I was treating her most of the time like becoming friends rather than trying to tease her because I was getting more of the vibe of a friend rather than a potential thingy.

Later on I met this woman. We were talking on Instagram. Honestly she has been doing most of the initiation and kinda out more effort than me to meet in the messages and all. She looks like she's in her 30's as well. She is quite hot and has boobs, like I could imagine her with some tall confident guy. I don't know how attracted she is really to me because on one hand she does seem a bit (but it's a bit confusing) and on the other hand I wasn't making any moves on her as we were just strolling the beach. At some point I think she mentioned something that made me think she's like my age which really surprised me because she seems a little more mature than 23. But yes, even here I was practicing holding a conversation and trying to hold eye contact in a weird way while walking the beach somehow. Turns out she's also not lesbian and was an incorrect conclusion that I had. She was actually already in 2 long term relationships. As we were walking I did kinda try to lead us generally even though she seemed to be more of the talkative, confident dominant one (she works as a manager). Eventually I lead us like 10 minutes from my hostel and then she just took a cab back to her hotel where she lives alone now. It's a little confusing for me to tell. I can really imagine a few people that if they'd see all of this they'd tell me I'm taking a piss and that she wants me but it isn't clear enough and I don't want to make really moves on her. If she like being the dominant one then she can do it.

 

So no approaches, just had 2 excursions with 2 women today

[fopylo]

Ok, I can say proudly that for the last 6 days I've done 13 approaches + met 2 women individually (as friends) + have a Tinder date I might meet.

I am fairly happy with this result. More than what I have ever had in my life. I hope for 2026 to get on that journey and start seeing great results as I keep going.

The problem is that it was a little hard for me to stay consistent with it. It requires a bit of energy as well...

[Inliytened1]

On 12/26/2025 at 0:03 PM, Zenterus said:

The less good looking you are, the more polarizing you have to be in order to punch through her emotions and leave a strong impression. The more conventionally attractive you are, the more you can just lean back and focus on normal conversation and rapport.

Its really sad how superficial women are.  If you're not over 5"9 and handsome you are just tossed to the side.

Now to your point both height and looks can be overcome by personality. (Hopefully you have at least two of the three or youre really fucked) Making them laugh seems to be a huge stength. And further locked in by performance in bed.  Performance in bed is probably the biggest.  Getting that far aside

If you can make a woman cum you have her as long as you want her.

Edited 15 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Inliytened1]

On 12/26/2025 at 11:58 AM, Looks said:

say anything that's semi-appropriate but if you dont have top tier looks you might need to dial down the boldness probably so be very meek and kind and prey that she'll buy your sales pitch. you'll have to mention not that you are unemployed, say u are working in your father company. that will give her enough pointer that u are rich. then proceed to slowly but surely purchase her company with your money. that will be enjoyable i think. but that's still a solid approach to having semi-regular sex.

Worst advice ever.  You shouldn't even be thinking about looks because girls will feed off of your confidence not your looks.  Its not about boldness its about being entertaining the masculinity should be there underneath the scenes

 

[Inliytened1]

On 12/27/2025 at 10:22 AM, fopylo said:

Ok ok, quick update (you gotta hear it man @Zenterus ):

I've somehow managed to secure a date on Tinder (well, we just moved it to Instagram). This will be my first date from tinder, in fact - my first online date. The only 2 dates I went to in my life were with girls I kinda knew already and years ago. Bottom line is that I don't really know how to date and what to do. I suggested we just meet to walk around a bit (not huge commitment and make it casual. I'm taking the idea of just walking around and "instant dating" it). Anyways, since it's gonna be in like the afternoon I don't know how to escalate with her. I don't know how escalating in a club is different from during daytime. What is acceptable and what is not. How do I know when to proceed and how? Thanks

Bro.  Again. Not a textbook thing.  Read the room. Read her.  If you feel a vibe you make a move.  On the date you feel that out.  She will let you know.   If she wants to start out with coffee do that.  If she wants a drink do that.  You're overthinking everything.  Just talk to her and entertain her.   It doesn't matter the scenery or the type of date.  Let her choose and then entertain as necessary. 

Edited 12 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Zenterus]

5 hours ago, Inliytened1 said:

Its really sad how superficial women are.  If you're not over 5"9 and handsome you are just tossed to the side.

 

Bro, men are way more superficial than women are, what are you talking about?

If a woman isn't physically attractive, the average man wont even look at her direction or even pay attention to her other attributes.

Women will do that. You can be an ugly guy and have some weight on you yet if you have a solid personality and you are a man to the core then women will develop an attraction to you.

Men have it so much easier when it comes to dating than women when you look at the dating world from a holistic perspective.

[Inliytened1]

1 hour ago, Zenterus said:

Bro, men are way more superficial than women are, what are you talking about?

If a woman isn't physically attractive, the average man wont even look at her direction or even pay attention to her other attributes.

Women will do that. You can be an ugly guy and have some weight on you yet if you have a solid personality and you are a man to the core then women will develop an attraction to you.

Men have it so much easier when it comes to dating than women when you look at the dating world from a holistic perspective.

Only as far as the bedroom. Otherwise its the same. 

[theleelajoker]

 

5 hours ago, Zenterus said:

Bro, men are way more superficial than women are, what are you talking about?

If a woman isn't physically attractive, the average man wont even look at her direction or even pay attention to her other attributes.

Women will do that. You can be an ugly guy and have some weight on you yet if you have a solid personality and you are a man to the core then women will develop an attraction to you.

Men have it so much easier when it comes to dating than women when you look at the dating world from a holistic perspective.

+  that women will pay attention to men that look less handsome but have personality.

But at least among some of my friends, there is agreement that a great personality also makes less pretty women also substantially more attractive. 

Are there also very superficial women? Same as men? Yes. 

Do men have it easier then women? Don't think so. IMO, it's pretty even. 

[Inliytened1]

3 hours ago, theleelajoker said:

 

+  that women will pay attention to men that look less handsome but have personality.

But at least among some of my friends, there is agreement that a great personality also makes less pretty women also substantially more attractive. 

Are there also very superficial women? Same as men? Yes. 

Do men have it easier then women? Don't think so. IMO, it's pretty even. 

He's right though that the average man won't even engage unless she's sexually attractive to him.  But the main thing for a woman is the sexual connection. So if you establish that it takes a lot for her to lose that.  Which is kind of ironic since its the man that thinks with his dick.  I know that this is beyond the dating scene itself but if as a man you establish that she will want you.  Its getting to that point that is the initial challenge for a man.  At least a woman will give you the time of day if there is some attraction.  Woman don't initially base it on looks alone but something has to attract them. So in that sense its the same but woman have a wider spectrum when it comes to type of attraction.  It doesn't always have to be physical.  Though if you go on dating sites it will always be physical first regardless of gender.  That kinda shows you that physical appearance comes first.

Edited 1 hour ago by Inliytened1

[mmKay]

Keep in mind that the ratio of action to theory has to be 10:1 for you to actually improve and get results. Becoming a theory junkie can actually set you back at a certain point. Just go out, "be yourself", and troubleshoot with theory when you face sticking points. 

Trouble starting interactions? Look that up. Running out of things to say? look that up. Don't know how to flirt? look that up. Don't know how to pull? look that up. 

Do not consume more content than you need. Have a basic model of game from start to close in your mind and refine it over time.

Edited 3 hours ago by mmKay

[Inliytened1]

15 minutes ago, mmKay said:

Keep in mind that the ratio of action to theory has to be 10:1 for you to actually improve and get results. Becoming a theory junkie can actually set you back at a certain point. Just go out, "be yourself", and troubleshoot with theory when you face sticking points. 

Trouble starting interactions? Look that up. Running out of things to say? look that up. Don't know how to flirt? look that up. Don't know how to pull? look that up. 

Do not consume more content than you need. Have a basic model of game from start to close in your mind and refine it over time.

Really good advice.  Woman want you to appear off the cuff. So even if you need to turn to theory you should be doing it off the cuff. A textbook can't teach you how to be funny.  You have to just have that. 

[Inliytened1]

8 hours ago, Zenterus said:

Bro, men are way more superficial than women are, what are you talking about?

If a woman isn't physically attractive, the average man wont even look at her direction or even pay attention to her other attributes.

Women will do that. You can be an ugly guy and have some weight on you yet if you have a solid personality and you are a man to the core then women will develop an attraction to you.

Men have it so much easier when it comes to dating than women when you look at the dating world from a holistic perspective.

Id say women are the most picky about height though and men do not care about that.  They want to look up to a man.  A short guy unless hes extremely handsome has a very hard time regardless.  Its a bad stigma in the US.

Edited 2 hours ago by Inliytened1