How to practice approaching women?

[fopylo]

So I'm currently traveling Thailand, and I really want to improve my dating/sex life. I've never approached really a woman in my life trying to get her number, forget about approaching to sleep. I'll exclude one recent time I lost my virginity to a Thai woman who was somewhat of a prostitute but eventually wanted to see me of her own will, so I guess this is pretty much the only "practice" I had running game, but it was easy because like I said she was more into me, it was in a club, and I was somewhat drunk.

So I've watched Leo Gura's part 1 and part 2 of how to get laid, and he said some very  insightful things, which I've tried using, such as to make some playful statements/observational assumptions, creating attraction through eye contact and bouncing her around to feel comfortable following me.

So I want to practice more of it, and the issue is that I don't know how to actually "practice". Leo gave some crazy exercises of going out 3 nights a week and approaching 30 women a week, like bro, let me start with something very small. I don't even know yet really how to do 1 approach. Aside from not knowing how to open the approach, I don't know how appropriate the situation is for approaching. Walking around alone in the afternoon on some busy walking paths, seeing a girl in the crowd for 1.5 seconds and then quickly turning around and saying loudly "hey, I really liked your vibe and wanting to come and say hi. My name is Fopylo, what is yours?" doesn't sound like something people actually do. It seems a bit weird.

And how do I practice approaching in a pragmatic measurable way that makes sense?

[fopylo]

Ok so I decided it's time to be a bit more social. I attended some Christmas meeting at the beach at night through the nomadtable app (travelers create events and others join). So I met one of the guys before to have light supper and also to have at least one guy I know. We got to the beach and they were sitting in a large circle with about like 20 people.

Problem was that they got some commotion going on because we kinda came late, but it seemed to affect me more than my friend. He right away started talking to the girl next to him which turned out to be kinda the center of attention. Crazy how a large group always splits afterwards into like 2-3 smaller groups and it's usually the girls are the ones to lead behavior. So like the guy that was more friendly with her became more of the center, and even if I tried speaking to some of the guys and it was ok, still I didn't get much attention like the guys that were closer to the girls. Everyone was kinda drunk and I made a decision not to drink, and so I only took a few sips if guys offered me a sip from a beer. Anyways, I left already. It was kinda hard and had no female interaction. The most I did is see a woman dancing with this glowing in the dark painting on her arm which is common here in Thailand, and I approached her while dancing (I knew she probably had a boyfriend and she was like in her 30's and just asked where she got it from. That's it. Lame. It was a bit tough and just cut away from the group. Don't even know these guys and couldn't care too much, but still

[enzyme]

You could start with some low-pressure interactions.  Comment on a girl's shirt or hat as you pass her by.  Or talk to a girl next to you in line while you're waiting for your coffee.

Remember you can do this to guys as well.  I speak to girls pretty much the same way I speak to my male friends.

It's up to you how often you wanna go out, just don't make yourself restless.  

As for approaching on the busy streets or shopping areas, it's mostly trial and error.  I've done it before and got nothing from it and other times me and the girl ended up having a solid 10 minute conversation.  What matters is you get used to doing it enough times and you'll find yourself coming out of your head and making things happen.

[fopylo]

@enzyme

9 minutes ago, enzyme said:

You could start with some low-pressure interactions.  Comment on a girl's shirt or hat as you pass her by.  Or talk to a girl next to you in line while you're waiting for your coffee.

Yeah maybe I'll try something light. But really like when I came to sit in the circle ot was like

Girl | friend | Me | Girl | Girl

And the friend was talking to the girl and I was part listening to them part listening and slightly commenting on the two guys far in front of me and at some point I was already too scared to talk to these two women beside me. I just feel really nervous in group settings. It's like a combination of cold approach and warm approach because the group kinda warms up and dynamics seem to appear. If I am alone talking to girls it's different than when guys are around me - more scary and I tend to pretty much avoid female interaction and just focus on the guys.

12 minutes ago, enzyme said:

It's up to you how often you wanna go out, just don't make yourself restless.

I might have been pushing myself a little for the last few days. Chatgpt suggested it as well because of the long fucked up sleeps and wake hours. And that my body is perhaps overstimulated. Even now I feel it a bit. I think I might be pushing myself a bit too much. This obviously doesn't feel super natural. People I don't know and I also made sure not to really drink. Maybe I'll go out with smaller groups. Clubs are nice when I feel like and when I know some people.

[enzyme]

5 minutes ago, fopylo said:

I was already too scared to talk to these two women beside me

 This may help if you get nervous with girls

 

[Ulax]

Bro you could start with a warm up.

Ask some old dude for directions, then a chica for directions, then directions and a compliment. Then i predict your brain will be less risk averse and you will be more likely to  approach.

[fopylo]

@Ulax

Thank you. I'll try utilizing "warming up" before I go into a "set".

Holy, just saying those words remind me I should start working out

[Leo Gura]

You find a busy nightlife area with bars. You walk in. The first girl you see, you approach directly and say, "Hi, I'm a douchbag and I wanted to meet you." And then you wing it from there.

Rinse and repeat.

Edited 4 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Inliytened1]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

You find a busy nightlife area with bars. You walk in. The first girl you see, you approach directly and say, "Hi, I am douchbag and I wanted to meet you." And then you wing it from there.

Rinse and repeat.

Winging from there is the tricky part.  First off there has to a physical attraction.  And then you have to be attractive with your approach. Generally girls like someone funny or one that keeps them on their toes especially in that first interaction.   But if the physical attraction isnt there youre wasting your time unless you can really entertain her.  If she's attracted to you you dont have to do much other than have the balls to go up to her.

You can usually tell if a girl is eyeing you before hand as well.

Edited 5 hours ago by Inliytened1

[AION]

Some mf’s are so helpless that I advice them to pretend to be Christian and just put it in the hands of god that he will find you a thorn born again Christian. 

[Inliytened1]

Just now, AION said:

Some mf’s are so helpless that I advice them to pretend to be Christian and just put it in the hands of god that he will find you a thorn born again Christian. 

Ain't gonna work in a bar. And again why would you even want that religion and politics u keep out.

Edited 5 hours ago by Inliytened1

[fopylo]

@Leo Gura

Bro this feels too much for me. I thought you said first to scan the girl and feel if you'd really sleep with her before approaching, and also I'm not that type of guy to joke in that manner. Yes I am for self deprecating humor, but not like that...

[Inliytened1]

5 minutes ago, fopylo said:

@Leo Gura

Bro this feels too much for me. I thought you said first to scan the girl and feel if you'd really sleep with her before approaching, and also I'm not that type of guy to joke in that manner. Yes I am for self deprecating humor, but not like that...

 Scanning the girl to see if you would sleep with her? Bro would you approach a ground hog? Come on now.  What's your spectrum? Fat girls? Skinny ones? Pretty?  I dont even think you have to add that to list because you arent going to approach a woman you dont want. 

Edited 5 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Inliytened1]

Dont turn this into an analysis.   Work your gut  Picking up women is totally off the cuff.  If you have to check a sheet it will never happen. Just let it flow. 

Edited 5 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Leo Gura]

48 minutes ago, fopylo said:

@Leo Gura

Bro this feels too much for me. I thought you said first to scan the girl and feel if you'd really sleep with her before approaching, and also I'm not that type of guy to joke in that manner. Yes I am for self deprecating humor, but not like that...

Dude, you gotta jump into the cold pool. There is no easy way about it.

Say stupid shit break out of your logical mind.

Solo is insanely hard. Find a wingman.

Edited 4 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Inliytened1]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Dude, you gotta jump into the cold pool. There is no easy way about it.

Say stupid shit break out of your logical mind.

Solo is insanely hard. Find a wingman.

If youre at a bar for some reasons girls dont like you to be alone.  If you have someone with u I guess to them it tells them you aren't a total loser. But that's all a wingman is good for.  They won't get the girl for you.

You're spitting textbook shit give it to him raw.

Edited 2 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Miguel1]

The best thing about learning cold approaching is at an advance level, you can completely own it solo

[Inliytened1]

7 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

The best thing about learning cold approaching is at an advance level, you can completely own it solo

Approaching the girl in the first place is most of the battle.   The rest you need to come up with on your own.  You can tell almost immediately if it will go nowhere the more women you approach.  If they are interested they will engage. 

Edited 2 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Miguel1]

20 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

If they are interested they will engage. 

Yes it shouldn't take much more than few minutes to see if she is hooked or not.

[BlessedLion]

You gotta just do it and treat the rejection, cringe, and failures as exposure therapy. Use it as a meditation to sit with those parts of you that feel not enough and awkward, bask in the pain of it, enjoy the sting of it. This is the only way to truly keep it sustainable because if you spin into stories of being a loser, socially weird, etc every time you go out it will be miserable and you'll give up. You have to make it fun, don't do gimmicky shit, be yourself. 

 

It's actually a great training field for training your mind and healing parts of yourself, cuts right to the ego. You can turn it into a craft or path of mastery even.