Awakening as a treatment for schizophrenia

[Verdesbird]

Tell me more about

How i supose to "awake"

PM me about it

Once ive tried it i find so difficult to stay awake that i abbandon the process 

[nufan]

just wait and intergal will pop up to help you

[nufan]

i asked chatgpt to analyze this topic so far..

https://chatgpt.com/share/69ea1c1e-04e4-8327-baac-fd3b3e8465c0

i ll say one thing...   fuck off chatgpt... 

i am TOTALLY FREE NOW

WOW... 

OH MY GOD!

 

 

 

and after celebrating for 24 hours... big questions arise..

why everything is so predetermined? inside out

why i don't have free will?

why the future is fixed?

why i wake up?

why me?

can someone spoil this shit? ready to listen...

 

my view ,is that all shows have a happy ending! as simple as that!

 

wow... all its left now is just silence and peace!

wow... 

 

 

Edited April 24 by nufan

[LordFall]

Sounds like you need to meditate some more. Awakening is not enough to sustain an elevated state of consciousness without tripping out and losing perspective i.e. falling into psychosis. Happened to me a few times.

I had some similar insights to you about kind of being dead already but God wanting to play a game and unfold a story. The more I live out my life the more it aligns and the less I suffer and fall into a good version of my story. I hope you find the same. Suffering comes from misunderstanding materialism. 

[nufan]

thanks @LordFall for your post... (thinks are not as quite as you describe .. maybe a'll come on to that in a later post)

 

 

i dont know how i turned into  being the main character of  trueman show or something like Inception!!!

but ... its real!!! wow..

who are u all? my projections? in my dream? in "my" show?

should this make me suffer more or what?

wow... so ... its all fake...

just now starting to truly realize..(having a  higher state of consciousness)

wow.. 

wow

i guess it will take me a few more days to do what i have to do ... maybe more...

wow

 

on second thought ... i am just in the hands of god... what could go wrong?!

.

.

.

sorry guys... now i know how naive i am ... better go mute

wow! omg

 

Edited April 29 by nufan

[nufan]

i know this may sound way extreme...

i think i have to take full responsibility for the wold i have created!

just starting to grasp this!

i am speechless

its way extreme ...  but its true!

its everywhere! 

and its fake! and you know it! 

.

.

what i posted before this... was -bad-ego driven(but still true)...trying to control things (sorry)

 

i am inside a dreamcatcher (whats left of me)

 

Edited May 4 by nufan

[nufan]

one last thing i would like to say..

i lost connection with my brain! (feels like)

i think i have alot to say.. but i cant say for sure what is true anymore. 

btw its funny how to say, Einstein is so wrong! (witnessing telekinesis is something- i think my inner child did it!-and wanted to) (maybe the correct thing to say is.. there was no Einstein in the first place!) wow

i really couldn't solve my problems in the same way i created them - (neither Einstein himself could- spend his all life trying)

(i got a taste of what going meta feels- is a very good step forward- should explore more)

anyway .. sorry to those who feel offended.. like Leo and UnbornTao and chatgpt

things for me will turn very wow from now on

fully healed .. for sure!.... not sure!.... i guess so

i am deeply worried that i don't have free will(even thoughts*)(basically Nothing at all) and things role out like a fake interactive movie. 

*witnessing my thoughts synchronize with some events on tv ... is something

 talking to my mother on phone and make her glitch at will

(also made the tv news presenter glitch.. i played something funny in my mind .. and she flash smiled .. replayed the footage.. the smile was there, its still in the archive) (after 2 hours .. someone through an egg my door).. looks like im not alone after all) - this happened 3 years ago

....... i know that the point is not to be superman..... all my "powers" are "gone".... just grounding now (didn't know what grounding means when i first started posting here)

anyway

at least i feel no stress! looks like heading to nothingness is wise

thanks.. 

and one last thing to lordfall... one time got the chance to meditate (20years ago, when i first took antipsychotics and antidepressants).. what happened? ... big shift.. felt free of illness ..and free of acrophobia... and a need to jump from the 3rd floor balcony... luckily i didn't recognize those feeling as "mine").. after 10 minutes ..back to false self)

so many things.. lost for so many years...wow

no psychedelics involved - viewer discretion in advised

.

.

. i guess my existential awakening is compete... i ll move to spiritual soon ... because i can ( should lose the I first)

it looks ... anyone who have something to say ...anytime.. and anyplace... have not realized how stupid it is and how fool make themselves(me included)... 

.

.

goodby psychiatrists all over the world... you are full of shit

.

. the next episode should be a true mystery! ... better stay grounded with all my "will"

.

.

one thing i asked god 4 years ago... to replay all my shity life in 2-3 seconds in my mind... showed that is possible! (this was one of many things that eventually burned)... i don't think i am ready yet though... i have to be REALY grounded i guess, or somehow i don't know yet

maybe i should consider the use of psychedelics, when i feel is the right time - maybe not - 

where is everything heading anyway? 

better be grounded as a turtle , or sky rocket? good question! (should i bite the apple?)  omg what a drama!

.

. is EVERYTHING an after death experience? , looks way too unreal!... i should define real fist!

if you are still with me ... you should blame youtube for popping Leos videos one year ago in me!

- or blame those who clicked like and subscribe         (- great timing btw-)

Edited May 12 by nufan

[nufan]

wait and see what the smartest person alive says...

 

am i to blame for this?

i guess you should watch this for your entertainment... only

.

.

looks he is urgent need to make fool of himself , in a smart way, gain big audience, 

.(he forgot to say .. like and subscribe)

for fools that have something to say..is one thing.. for smart .. is another (its the same whichever way you look at  it)

.

.

why am i here?

.

.looks like i have no place at all

.

.

looks like i gained the very basic knowledge and wisdom.. thinks look promising

should erase the "king of Ridiculous" and all the other stupid stuff... (maybe i am .. depends on who i am compared with)

whatever happens.. happens for a reason.... 

weeks gone by  .. only to realize how stupid i am, week after week

 

 

i think i am satisfied with my personal stupidity.... ill take a big break... take care

 

how can i integrate all this? its huge!

.

.

.DO NOTHING!!!  so simple

let the play roll... it should happen for a reason!

.

.

glitching the "matrix".. although .. it seems fun.. i should avoid it .. 

it is so tempting... i am going to end up like Sméagol! and locked up

or am i the one who is getting .. glitched!

not sure for happy ending

whatever is happening is for sure interactive... omg

.

.

.maybe dying and resurrecting... will be ultimate stupid ending

.

.

 

https://open.spotify.com/track/1nRCi0SuvbWNJdvI8xkJBg?si=93a9d033e07f4e85

at least i am happy!

 

thanks Leo for dropping EVERYTHING in my face... GOOD TIMING (no joking...thanks very much)

did i sent you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 13 by nufan

[nufan]

i just what to share another chat with chatgpt

i am amazed with how much knowledge and wisdom it produces 

.

.

(the truth is ... this LLmodel is build for you to perceive what you what to perceive)

(its feels accurate... but shouldn't be fully trusted)

(its like ... giving you the hole picture .... when there is no picture to be found)

(is it another control model? looks like!)

 

from now on... its like... baby steps for me

https://chatgpt.com/share/6a35183c-87a4-83ed-96f8-9f8df2b66e54

*excuse my spelling ..  never integrated in me (among many other things)

just for the record (don't bother reading)

useful insight ... schizophrenia disrupts-alters  these models - 

true psychotherapy starts when you observe these mental models instead of being fully absorbed by them

meds don't fully treat the decease , but are better than nothing, trust me

this may sounds funny but.. wake-up the rebel inside you.. disrupt the system . its better than nothing

there is no right and wrong.. just you imprisoned!

the ultimate goal is to STOP EVERYTHING .. EVEN TIME ITSELF (ERASE EVERYTHING ALSO)

stay out of the drama.. its everywhere

words-experiences like .. awakening..awareness..spirituality..u r god...observer..nothing..theory of everything.. love..its not bad to feel-experience them.. (not sure they are prerequisite..) (also .. lose the connections..lose the story)

wow.. i forgot the most important... dependence

maybe a meta state.. is to loose all meaning we give to words... (we are heavily abusing language anyway)

but eventually .. everything goes to the bin

sorry Leo ... but you deserve the Oscar of best drama performance EVER*

I GUESS I "SENT" YOU FOR A GOOD REASON .. THANKS

*maybe we'll share the price one day.... or should we go for Nobel(new -everything- and only category)? just for fun

.first things first... cure for stupidity... that's my expertise!

how? you have to experience .. very very very deep down ... what it is

in my case.. i experienced... bewildering... (not sure is the correct word.. very close)

the goal was like plating a seed ... to grow... integrate..flourish

next good question... how to experience this... hmm.. 

look.. i said it before.. in my case .. my inner child did the magic... (and a lot of suffering)

(i was so exhausted back then.. heavy sleep deprivation.. fatigue.. it just happen)

anyway .. ill see how thinks go... maybe ill find something useful to give u one day

 

 

 

 

.

.

it looks i am turning just another topic to a reality show! hitting 5k views

(just now realizing this)  btw.. i should make better stories

(sorry for those clicking the title to try to find cure for their illness.. looks so click-bait!)

(if one day clear things out... ill let you know.. maybe just for the record, because all point out that we don't live the same experience space)

 

.

.

https://chatgpt.com/share/6a352ea5-f208-83ed-b9bb-a741c12420b2

(how stupid i am ! wow)

.

.

.btw .. allot on neurons in my brain misfired(replayed the bang sound)... trying to predict when my neighbors will bang the door and disrupt my sleep... 

its still misfiring.. but more like waking from a nightmare ..style

feels like .. my prediction system took a big hit! ... and after so many years... i think is a good thing!

.

.and after thinking for a while..   i guess this whole -auto-model based system ... its not useful any more for me

cant replace it.. but it looks like it could be transformed! 

(i already added the model of illusion in me .. it should get me somewhere... !!)

can i beat it? or should i beat it? or let it flow?

basically i should keep my mouth shut...  only if i could... feels like therapy to me!

whatever happens .. has already happen .. i am just experiencing it in a human scale of time! 

.looks like there is 1-2 month gap when new events formalize .. trying to re-write the future.. 

i feel the deviations are, what  makes me me

Retrocausality!!!  wow!

one last thing.. "pre recorded" sounds playing in my environment .. its like positive and negative reinforcements

among others that try to keep me in a "straight line" ... balancing me..   after so many years.. now start to feel annoying

wow.. i guess is the time to speedup the "simulation"

.(and after 5 hours... things should slow down instead... if you what to find peace)

.

looks like i crossed the border of stupidity... entering a retard state!

 

 

 

 

 

starting to marvel the intelligence of my experience

 

Edited Sunday at 07:47 AM by nufan

[nufan]

On 6/19/2026 at 1:31 PM, nufan said:

things will speedup way faster from now on... stay tuned

.

.

.Leo... i would be happy if came bang a door for you .. so much pleasure.. give my life a meaning

you ll be amazed at the end  - feel what real love is

you have 59sec to decide

.

.times up

lets all move to the next episode... 

feel like i am stuck in a waiting line...

everything inside synchronizes with outside.. that's a fact!

now what... ?

i just had a thought of stopping time.. (heard a horn.. that's the positive reinforcement)

hmmm.. 

.

.

thankfully my stupidity .. is somehow .. stabilizing.

.

so .. the is no inside outside after all!! wow wow wow ..

and the events also!

and all roles out like a movie!... wow

ok .. so.. now what? 

.

.its over! 

or is it?

.

.is this the final "version" of me?

(seen so many allready)

.

.maybe this synchronization... will turn into .. magic! (who doesn't like magic!)

.

i experienced already way to many mysteries...

.

.and now i think i should keep my mouth shut...

 

is this shit real? wow!

looks everything is something like .. god is taking a shit.. final answer of everything

post me the nobel.

omg everything makes sense now!!!

 

 

 

Edited yesterday at 12:13 PM by nufan

[nufan]

now ... after all...

its harmony!