Reframing emotional pain mega-thread.

[Rishabh R]

When we feel pain emotionally we usually try to numb it in order to feel better but we miss the point that until we are alive on this earth emotional pain will always be there.

In fact no one makes through without having some degree of emotional suffering.

Viewing pain in a negative light does more harm than pain itself as it becomes an amplifier of pain.

Keeping pain at a manageable level is a skills that one must learn in order to live a healthy life.

With that being said, nobody is perfect and nobody will be always be successful at keeping pain at a manageable level.

I mean even if you are good at emotional regulation there will still be moments of pain where you can't regulate your emotions.

No book, no guru , no person can make you immune to pain no matter how good and promising there teaching is.

I encourage the people of actualized.org to post their reframe of emotional pain or in other terms give perspective on emotional pain which keep it at manageable levels most of the time. So that while suffering one doesn't get caught into unhelpful thought pattern and makes cognitive errors which amplifies pain most of the time.

Here's mine - This moment while being painful in nature will propel my growth in the future.

Thanks.

[Princess Arabia]

Getting the tool kit out to try and manage emotional pain is defeat. Emotional pain cannot be managed because no one caused it to begin with, it appeared out of nowhere all on it's own and will subside from whence it came all on it's own too. If it was caused by someone, that someone wouldn't need to manage it they would be able to let it go away without it being managed. Stop trying to resist what is and what is will just be what is.

[Ishanga]

3 hours ago, Rishabh R said:

When we feel pain emotionally we usually try to numb it in order to feel better but we miss the point that until we are alive on this earth emotional pain will always be there.

In fact no one makes through without having some degree of emotional suffering.

Viewing pain in a negative light does more harm than pain itself as it becomes an amplifier of pain.

Keeping pain at a manageable level is a skills that one must learn in order to live a healthy life.

With that being said, nobody is perfect and nobody will be always be successful at keeping pain at a manageable level.

I mean even if you are good at emotional regulation there will still be moments of pain where you can't regulate your emotions.

No book, no guru , no person can make you immune to pain no matter how good and promising there teaching is.

I encourage the people of actualized.org to post their reframe of emotional pain or in other terms give perspective on emotional pain which keep it at manageable levels most of the time. So that while suffering one doesn't get caught into unhelpful thought pattern and makes cognitive errors which amplifies pain most of the time.

Here's mine - This moment while being painful in nature will propel my growth in the future.

Thanks.

This is a sign that You have fallen for the trap that Pain or Suffering HAS to be a part of Life Experience.. Yes for sure no one goes thru life without experiencing pain, most of it physical.. When it comes to Emotions, no one should be able to produce a stimulus for You to Experience Emotional Pain, since Emotions cannot be touched by anyone other than YOU.  Body can be influenced by outside stimuli as it functions and interacts with the outside, Emotions are You interior barometer and are only touched by you, if You react to outside then for sure You will feel emotional pain, but if You respond then it is up to You if it is painful or not...

We are this way, reactive and suffering because when in these states we spend, consume, buy and do things that we don't really need to do to either distract from Emotional pain or numb it, this is conditioned into Us via our culture which is narcissistic in nature and greedy, its all about Money and Power, a few have it and they use this tactic to control the masses.

Once You take Your Power back by Responding to Life rather than reacting, then society will transform! 

[LastThursday]

Emotional pain is a message. Therefore emotional pain is triggered BY something. To work with the pain you must either look into the cause (i.e. answer the message), or change the trigger itself (i.e. reframing, therapy, NLP, Stoicism, distraction, drugs etc.).

Those that are good at managing emotional pain, are either efficient at fixing the problems that cause them pain, or are good at reframing their pain.

4 hours ago, Rishabh R said:

So that while suffering one doesn't get caught into unhelpful thought pattern and makes cognitive errors which amplifies pain most of the time.

You're spot on that most suffering is mental. This is the trigger part I talked about above. Emotional pain can be triggered by thought alone long after the original cause has ceased to exist. You can stop repetitive negative thought patterns, but it's a counterintuitive process. 

[Rishabh R]

@Princess Arabia So your talking about radical self acceptance ,right ?

56 minutes ago, Ishanga said:

Once You take Your Power back by Responding to Life rather than reacting, then society will transform! 

Great point @Ishanga.  I was talking about emotional pain experienced due to failure,setbacks etc. and negative emotions in general which are part of everyone's life.

@LastThursday Thank you.

 

 

[Ishanga]

32 minutes ago, Rishabh R said:

@Princess Arabia So your talking about radical self acceptance ,right ?

Great point @Ishanga.  I was talking about emotional pain experienced due to failure,setbacks etc. and negative emotions in general which are part of everyone's life.

@LastThursday Thank you.

 

 

With the past, You either become Wounded or Wise from it, if someone experiences allot of failure and setbacks, losses if You "react" then you will probably suffer it via emotional pain (Wounded), if You respond to it likely You will become Wiser from it, so that is the choice.. If I go down a path and trip over a bump in the road, the next time I go down that path I will avoid that bump and not trip over it...

[Rishabh R]

@Ishanga But reframing the failure,setbacks is a wise way for responding to it as well as taking constructive action.

[Ishanga]

5 minutes ago, Rishabh R said:

@Ishanga But reframing the failure,setbacks is a wise way for responding to it as well as taking constructive action.

Yes, as well as not using the language or words like "failure" or "setback",  In Life there are not failures or setbacks, there are just situations... Generally we are ruled by Expectations, so we set up a goal or task/event, expect something to happen a certain way (this is living emotionally in the future, which does not exist!), then go do it and find out things did not go how we Expected.. So ppl are already setting themselves up for failure by Expectation, or living in the future emotionally... 

One should set goals yes, but live Now and Respond to Now as it is, then You have more Clarity and can use all Your tools, intelligence/experience etc to achieve the goal...

Edited Sunday at 09:53 PM by Ishanga

[Lyubov]

“You are the creator of your emotions, not the victim of them.”
 

[Lyubov]

I invite you to do self inquiry on your emotions and “suffering.” 
 

It is possible to live as love and openness and CHOOSE to no longer creation emotional suffering. Walk this path if you so choose? Will you? Ask yourself why you don’t. Either path you walk is fine. There’s nothing wrong with creating suffering or painful emotions. Uncreate what no longer serves you, create what does. Putting it into words doesn’t do it justice, it’s an unspoken. Your mind knows the truth of what you write, it’s up to you then to live by that truth and align to it. 

[Rishabh R]

@Ishanga Yeah expectations lead to disappointment. Living in now or being present is also a key to emotional regulation.

[Rishabh R]

@Lyubov Suffering is not entirely within one's control and it comes and goes.

Nobody remains happy all the time. There are moments of suffering in everybody's life.

[Ishanga]

3 minutes ago, Rishabh R said:

@Ishanga Yeah expectations lead to disappointment. Living in now or being present is also a key to emotional regulation.

Yes, as well as Realizing "I am not my Emotions" and that I am creating them, but mostly Unconsciously.  So its just a matter of making it a Conscious Action, which is what Responding means! 

If You Consciously control Your Emotions, then the question is which Emotions do You want to Experience, Peace, Love, Joy, Excitement, or Bitterness, Anger, Guilt, Anxiety/Depression etc...? Also, which Emotions Empower You, Which ones disempower You?

[Ishanga]

3 minutes ago, Rishabh R said:

@Lyubov Suffering is not entirely within one's control and it comes and goes.

Nobody remains happy all the time. There are moments of suffering in everybody's life.

Pain will happen, physical pain for sure, Emotional Pain is a choice.. Suffering is different from Pain, Pain comes then goes, or it should..Suffering, which is mostly Emotional in our Society today, is continued experience of Pain over and over again, this is Unconscious Action, if You make it Conscious action, then would You choose to Suffer?  Probably Not!

[Rishabh R]

@Ishanga So you're talking about mindfulness and I have realized that being present is as equally important as reframing or accepting negative emotions.

[Rishabh R]

@Ishanga  Valid point. Emotional suffering is when one is caught in the mental loop of ruminating which increases the emotional turmoil.

[Ishanga]

2 minutes ago, Rishabh R said:

@Ishanga So you're talking about mindfulness and I have realized that being present is as equally important as reframing or accepting negative emotions.

Yes... My understanding is that there is Me, it is not the Body or Mind, so I am not identified with either, when that Happens there is a space btwn what is Me and what is not Me, so I like to say that the volume of the mind chatter or past/future rumination is not so loud for Me, it gives Me a chance to respond better with more clarity to what is NOW..

And Yes, most mental suffering is living in the past or future too much mentally/emotionally. If Your past orientated then You get bitter, angry and depressed.. Future orientation is Anxiety, Fear Experiences.. MInd is past/future orientated, So something else is NOW orientated, whatever that is is YOU!

[Rishabh R]

@Ishanga You're sounding like the book - The power of Now. 😂 I also read it. It's good that you have mindfulness skills.

In my case I accept my negative emotions most of the time as well as I reframe them other times.

[Lyubov]

28 minutes ago, Rishabh R said:

@Lyubov Suffering is not entirely within one's control and it comes and goes.

Nobody remains happy all the time. There are moments of suffering in everybody's life.

Why do you believe that?

Who said anything about control? It’s releasing “control” that releases suffering. 

You seem somewhat closed off to this which is your choice. Keep in mind you are free to believe you have no choice in the matter. You are arguing in favor of any limitations or suffering, whatever you wish to label it. 

Edited Sunday at 10:43 PM by Lyubov

[Lyubov]

14 minutes ago, Rishabh R said:

@Ishanga You're sounding like the book - The power of Now. 😂 I also read it. It's good that you have mindfulness skills.

In my case I accept my negative emotions most of the time as well as I reframe them other times.

You create your negative emotions through the beliefs you choose. Nothing wrong with that. You have your story and reasons as do I. I’m walking the path of no longer choosing to create them. Because what else would negative emotions be built on but lies? “I’m not good enough, there’s something wrong with me/life.” Is that even true?  Do you want to build your perception of reality on lies? 

Edited Sunday at 10:46 PM by Lyubov