Three-Day Psychedelic Retreat - Changa, Bufo Alvarius and Psilocybin

[Oeaohoo]

Before flying home from my month-long stay at Shunyamurti’s ashram in Costa Rica, I found a guy who was offering Bufo Alvarius retreats: 100g of Changa on the first day, 70g of Bufo Alvarius (roughly 5-10mg of 5-MeO) on the second, and a little over 4g of magic mushrooms, a mixture of roughly 1.5g Mazatapec and 2.5g of Tidal Wave, on the third day. I had never used any of these substances before, although I had a phase of taking moderate (100-250 microgram) doses of LSD whilst I was at university many years ago. Having reached a point in life where I felt like I had nothing left to lose, I thought I would see if there is anything there…

We did Rapé, which helped me purge energy that was stuck in my lower body, and Sananga before the first two sessions. After being sick multiple times from the Rapé, my Changa experience was like the unconditional love of the Mother which I have always longed for. I felt totally innocent and pure like an infant. We did the session late in the evening and apparently the birds started singing! My Bufo experience was love in the form of total empathy: in the space of about fifteen minutes, I became many people in my life who have meant something to me; I totally left my own frame of reference and inhabited their own. It became fascinatingly apparent that all of this is just one consciousness masquerading in so many different forms. I have always been overly sensitive to other people so I suppose Bufo cranked this aspect of my character up!

However, I must confess that these first two experiences left me slightly disappointed and in agreement with the spiritual teaching that psychedelics are still within the realm of illusion… Both experiences were very beautiful and profound but some deeper part of me still found it trivial in some way. Having said that, I did come away from Bufo with a strong feeling of reverence and a sense that it had much more to teach me. I look forward to returning to it once I have recovered from and assimilated the last experiences.

Although I didn’t really enjoy the first half of the psilocybin trip because it was just too weird, childish and overwhelming, the most profound part of the retreat was the latter half of the psilocybin trip. The cartoonish and evanescent hallucinations of psilocybin wore off and I went into a space which was much closer to the 5-MeO experience the night before. I was still hallucinating but now perfect unfolding triangular fractals and divine geometry, illogical tunnels leading to spiritual revelations, myself and other devotees prostrating ourselves in awe before God as a giant orb of light. I felt highly in tune with myself, authentic and natural. I was laughing and crying in a way which felt totally genuine and which I have never done before: my laughter normally feels slightly contrived and, although I do cry a lot anyway, these were different tears of self-forgiveness and spiritual mercy. Loads of mucus was coming out of my nose as well, it was a very purging and relieving experience and I still feel very different days afterwards. There was a genuine sense of devotion and awe at the supreme majesty of God which I have only felt rarely in my life.

There are a lot of other things I could talk about - a lot of my psilocybin trip centred around how awful modern life seems to me, a sense of apocalyptic glee around the number 444, “4:44, the clock is ticking!”, the kinky and sexual aspect of “playing a role” which became apparent on Bufo, various personal psychological insights, a fortunately short-lived desire to commit suicide on mushrooms for no negative reason but just out of a feeling of completeness and an apathy regarding the modern world, and so on. In the end, though, I couldn’t stop laughing at the absurdity of it all... It’s all a joke! At one point in the psilocybin trip I thought I was going to die because I had swallowed some tiny flecks of wool from my jumper! This became so funny to me. I was telling my guide how I was conceived in Vienna - he told me that his mother was a wealthy Jew from Vienna who had to flee because of the Nazi’s - because my parents had sex on a holiday in Vienna which my Dad won on the game show Wheel of Fortune. He said: “So you were born because of a wheel of fortune?” This became so funny to me. The lesson that I want to integrate from this is that it’s all a big joke!

I also felt a renewed appreciation for and affinity with Actualized.org and Leo’s teachings. These substances are very powerful in revealing the ways in which the mind constructs reality… At one point on mushrooms I literally watched my mind creating reality in slow motion, as if it was made out of building blocks like Lego! Very strange…

We are such stuff as dreams are made of. 

Edited 9 hours ago by Oeaohoo

[Leo Gura]

That is just your introduction to these chems. It takes hundreds of trips to reach the really awesome stuff. Each trip takes you deeper. So don't just a chemical based on a few trips. This is like judging the globe from 3 trips to 3 cities.

[Oeaohoo]

Just now, Leo Gura said:

That is just your introduction to these chems. It takes hundreds of trips to reach the really awesome stuff. Each trip takes you deeper. So don't just a chemical based on a few trips. This is like judging the globe from 3 trips to 3 cities.

Yes, exactly. The unanswered question with Bufo was: “If we are all one consciousness expressing itself in different forms, who is that consciousness?” I imagine that if I took it again, this might be revealed to me…

[Leo Gura]

2 minutes ago, Oeaohoo said:

Yes, exactly. The unanswered question with Bufo was: “If we are all one consciousness expressing itself in different forms, who is that consciousness?” I imagine that if I took it again, this might be revealed to me…

The answer to that question is so profound that if you took bufo 100 times you would still not reach the bottom of it.

It will be revealed to you one degree at a time.

After like 500 trips I still don't have the full answer.

Edited Sunday at 07:36 PM by Leo Gura

[Oeaohoo]

9 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

The answer to that question is so profound that if you took bufo 100 times you would still not reach the bottom of it.

It will be revealed to you one degree at a time.

After like 500 trips I still don't have the full answer.

Is that because it is impossible to reach the bottom of it? Is there a full answer?

[Leo Gura]

28 minutes ago, Oeaohoo said:

Is that because it is impossible to reach the bottom of it? Is there a full answer?

It's because the full answer is infinitely deep.

You are pulling on the tail of INFINITY.

It is like you are a fisherman who hooked some really monster fish and you're struggling to reel it in, not realizing that you hooked the entire Earth.

So the deeper you Awaken the more you realize that your question hooked the Universe. You're reeling in the Universe.

Edited Sunday at 08:13 PM by Leo Gura

[Oeaohoo]

9 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

It's because the full answer is infinitely deep.

You are pulling on the tail of INFINITY.

It is like you are a fishman who hooked some really monster fish and you're struggling to reel it in, not realizing that you hooked the entire Earth.

So the deeper you Awaken the more you realize that your question hooked the Universe. You're reeling in the Universe.

Yes, it’s like infinity was there but only as something implicit, since the capacity to shape-shift and imagine so many different roles implies an infinite potential for manifestation. Maybe that is all I could handle this time around. I hope one day I can reach a more direct experience of infinity!

Reeling in the universe is a beautiful image.

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, Oeaohoo said:

Yes, it’s like infinity was there but only as something implicit, since the capacity to shape-shift and imagine so many different roles implies an infinite potential for manifestation. Maybe that is all I could handle this time around. I hope one day I can reach a more direct experience of infinity!

Yes! You got a nice intro to Infinity.

It will reveal itself more explicitly as you do more trips.

You did good.

Edited Sunday at 08:11 PM by Leo Gura

[Lyubov]

I feel you on the shrooms part. It’s very loopy and childish the first half. I don’t like that. To be honest I find it a sort of waste of time and energy. I’ll feel exhausted after shrooms. The second half I connect to spirit and can get genuinely powerful insights that help me rediscover myself and put into action more honest living that benefits my life in a way I feel proud of. I just would like to find a substance I can gently enter this state from for a couple hours instead of dealing with all the problematic stuff associated with psychedelics. 

[Leo Gura]

Childish and cartoony is good! Gotta integrate that.

[TheGod]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

After like 500 trips I still don't have the full answer.

Even if you do 10 000 trips you won't be able to grasp the full answer because how do you grasp infinity. 

I've been on 200 trips and the more I trip the more I understand that it's impossible to have a complete understanding because it's infinite. You can go deeper and deeper without ending because there is no end. 

All I understand is that consciousness pure mystery and love. 

Edited yesterday at 02:08 AM by TheGod

[Leo Gura]

@TheGod Yeah, well, but i understand more with each trip.

[Beans]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Childish and cartoony is good! Gotta integrate that.

YES YES YES 

[Leo Gura]

Cartoon Wolf Consciousness!

[ExploringReality]

Reeling in Infinity. That could be a title to a book 😁 

[ExploringReality]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Cartoon Wolf Consciousness!

 You haven't had video game character consciousness though 😏

My first shroom trip, it was 1 gram, an hour and a half passed, thinking it doesn't work. And low and behold, while sitting on my couch, watching the TV as my brother is playing skate 3 online, my consciousness jump out of my body, into the television and I was looking around as the skate character. Im literally inside the fucking video game world as a character. I jumped back into my body and looked at my brother, he looks at me, at he said in a very slow motion, visceral way " you took them didn't you?" To which I replied "Yes!! I did". With the biggest grin on my face because I realized consciousness is absolute and is not bound.

Upon this realization, not giving a fuck that my body is moving funny and I'm loaded to the gills, I grab my skateboard and run out the house because I was so excited to discover consciousness is disembodied and not bound by the body. 

Edited yesterday at 04:12 AM by ExploringReality

[Lyubov]

The thing is I don’t have time or really the will to work with strange cartoony / mind bendy stuff. Not saying there isn’t any value in exploring that. Just where I am in life or what I wish to create doesn’t align with that now. I’m excited though to discover new substances that sort of match the rhythm I’m on. I heard mescaline is very gentle and a very grounded experience for self inquiry tripling. I hope to do some work with this in 2026. 

[Oppositionless]

You guys find psilocybin cartoony? Wow, that would be fun. My most recent trips on it (and honestly all my trips on mushrooms) have been deeply unsettling to traumatizing. In terms of visuals, emotions , and ego death.
 

I don't know exactly how to describe my ego deaths on psilocybin. It's not as clean and blissful as a 5 meo breakthrough , nor is it as gentle as a ketamine ego dissociation. It's like being being torn apart by an alien death machine. 
 

4 HO MET is cartoony

 

@Lyubov I want to try mescaline too but I'm hesitant about hurting such a pretty cactus . You can buy it as a houseplant , I would probably just wanna snuggle it instead of turn it into soup.

Edited 10 hours ago by Oppositionless

[ivankiss]

On 13/10/2025 at 4:04 AM, TheGod said:

All I understand

TheGod is about to become TheMinion.