Is pickup worth moving to a major US city to get world class charisma?

[Magnanimous]

On 05/10/2025 at 6:43 PM, Leo Gura said:

Seems rather extreme. It doesn't make sense unless you are insanely passionate about pickup.

@Leo Gura How many approaches should I do to gauge whether I'm insanely passionate about pickup? I defo seeing myself doing 1000-2000, even 3 if needed

[Lyubov]

13 hours ago, LordFall said:

@Lyubov it’s because most men in the USA are getting economically crushed. Collective issues don’t have to be individual issues. Plenty of phenomenal women in the US and some great cities to practice dating in. 

In my opinion it is hard mode unless you have a seriously strong foundation. This is just my opinion. I’m not saying a guy can’t make it there. I’m white, six feet and come from money, and even I saw dating in the USA as not so favorable for me and my background. Everyone’s path is different. So I know there are guys who had no game and built themselves up there and did well. The thing is I look at things a little differently. I’m a path of least resistance kind of guy. I found it much easier going to both South America and Eastern Europe, learning language, and finding my path this way. To me the USA was an uphill battle and from my perspective the numbers simply weren’t in my favor to be with a woman who fit what I wanted in a partner and also exhibited beauty/femininity how I wanted. so I tend to offer an alternative perspective here when guys are getting ready to grind because I’ve found a path that isn’t about grinding and conquering, but realigning and embracing radical changes so all you want just comes to you. I now have a beautiful wife, money and an easy online job and I realized a lot of all the grindy shit I did came down more to my perspective and how I thought I should do things vs what was actually possible. IMO you can go to South America or Asia as an incel and realize you have value and there are people who still do perceive you as valuable. And by osmosis you literally heal yourself from this. This USA grind shit imo is a dead end for most men. It’s like gambling at a casino in Vegas. There are a few winners but the house wins. IMO dating in the USA is this. If you want a mid looking gf that you have to work HARD for and is not feminine and doesn’t have traditional values, stay there. There are feminine beautiful women in the USA but the vast majority are economically or emotionally out of most men’s reach. Again, just my opinion. I’m not hating on anyone and it’s purely relative to what I am seeking as a human. Maybe you are happy there and I’m not trashing that or saying what I did is better. It’s just my own experience. Everyone can go after what they want and it’s possible to be happy dating in the USA if you want to be. 

Edited October 6 by Lyubov

[LordFall]

Yeah I totally agree with you. I know plenty of guys in western societies that are basically depressed incels but if they moved or travelled to South America/South east asia it would heal them a lot and they'd be able to connect with women more efficiently.

I don't think something being hard mode makes it a bad thing though. I've been studying game for 14 years and my setup is pretty elaborate at this point so my situation is not typical but if I had to guess where I'll find women most compatible with my mindset it would be in cities with extremely competitive dating pools like New York, Miami, Dubai, London or Singapore. I like sophisticated in demand very hot women and they're hard to get but so fun and interesting to hangout with. 

[Spiral]

A friend of mine told me American woman are very easy to pickup. He lived there a while.

I’m not sure if that’s the case

[Kid A]

11 hours ago, Spiral said:

A friend of mine told me American woman are very easy to pickup. He lived there a while.

I’m not sure if that’s the case

He's Scandinavian, right? I think pretty much all places are easy compared to here. 

[Lyubov]

16 hours ago, Spiral said:

A friend of mine told me American woman are very easy to pickup. He lived there a while.

I’m not sure if that’s the case

It’s entirely relative. Certain places can be more challenging, rewarding, easier, etc based on all sorts of various factors. In my opinion the American women I wanted to sleep with are on the harder side by sheer numbers. By volume imo there are maybe 1 out of every 200 women in a decent city in the USA that are attractive and worth pursuing. Compare that to Brazil which is like 1 out of every 75 or Russia which is like 1 out of every 20/25.  

Edited October 7 by Lyubov

[nerdspeak]

2 hours ago, Lyubov said:

It’s entirely relative. Certain places can be more challenging, rewarding, easier, etc based on all sorts of various factors. In my opinion the American women I wanted to sleep with are on the harder side by sheer numbers. By volume imo there are maybe 1 out of every 200 women in a decent city in the USA that are attractive and worth pursuing. Compare that to Brazil which is like 1 out of every 75 or Russia which is like 1 out of every 20/25.  

Tl;dr: In the US it's relatively hard to establish mutual attraction, but extremely easy to pick up a woman who is attracted to you. In the Global South it's easy to establish attraction, but you get a lot of false positives (superficial attraction) and you'll often need to go on multiple dates before establishing a sexual relationship. 

In the USA the odds of establishing mutual attraction are lower than in Brazil or Russia because of (1) the obesity epidemic in the USA; (2) if you're coming from the US or Western Europe, you're automatically higher value in those places; (3) US women only date within their subcultures for the most part and the society is very fragmented due to intense niche marketing creating siloed echo-chambers. 

These echo chambers also exist in the Global South, but not to the same extent. And you can overcome it with the "Foreigner Effect," which basically makes you a C-list celebrity just by virtue of being from the US. 

Even in Kyiv, a very cosmopolitan city with many foreigners, women (and men too) would come up to me and my friends, speaking English on the street, and ask us where we're from and request our Instagram accounts. (This was pre-war, now they've become a lot more closed off and nationalistic). 

But, if you have mutual attraction, it's much easier to pick up in the US or Western Europe because there isn't much shame about sex. 

Probably in Brazil it's pretty straightforward, but in Ukraine (and Russia even more so), to have sex or even get a woman in isolation can take 4-5 dates. And you'll spend a lot of time on dates with women who are not seriously interested in you but curious about spending time with a foreigner. And they'll often guilt-trip the hell out of you if you don't want to get serious quickly 

Of course, there are hipster subcultures in Eastern Europe where norms are closer to the USA or Western Europe.