About Helping Others; Law of reciprocity

[AION]

I discovered that I should only help others if it helps me in my self development. I came to this realization after talking to tons of people who help others for free and most importantly enjoy doing that. Helping others that is not helping yourself is not fruitful and not helping, sustaining on the long term. From my own research I discovered long term volunteers help others to get a certain mental-emotional download which is a geeky way of putting it but in their own words they say it is “fulfillment” or “it makes me feel good or gives me purpose”. Most people I asked never thought about why they do what they do which kind of shocked me.

There is this certain chemical in the body that gets released when you help others and that what makes it sustainable. From my experience, I tried to help people at my own expense and usually it doesn’t work. Because that person needs so much attention that it drains my energy and brings up resentment from my part and other bad parts. 

I can even extrapolate this and say this is the case in friendships too. I believe in value for value. Always give back indirectly to make it up because otherwise you accrue a value debt.  To get more one has to give more. There is a certain aura to this law of reciprocity. I believe this is also the way to develop higher emotional and social intelligence which is different than mental intelligence which helps you to get a better social circle aka leveling up the social hierarchy.

I also noticed that when you help others you get a “download”. This is a more mystical aspect of helping others which I won’t expand upon. 

Edited August 17 by AION

[Schizophonia]

My mentor says that the only way to give something to ourself is to give it to someone else, to the world. 

[Princess Arabia]

"Helping others", is a broad topic. There can be numerous ways of helping others. See a baby drowning and going to help, lending someone money for rent, answering a question from someone in math class, helping Leo build this forum by contributing, I mean the list is endless. So it's impossible to draw a general conclusion on what helping others mean for you. 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

How can you be sure of what will be returned? 

You might forgo assisting another because you do not perceive a return in value - but this actually castrates you from the full potential of experience.

Something may be returned you could NEVER expect - and end up valuing more than you realise. 

The best parts of my experience have resulted in an unexpected return on investment 😁

[Basman]

Contribution is one of the most surefire ways to feel a sense of fulfillment. It makes you valuable to the community and is arguably necessary for a certain extent as certain social goods can not be achieved through without an aspirational drive, like conservation of endangered species or helping the homeless and disadvantaged. 

Helping people with their personal issues is rarely really worth it from an altruistic sense in my experience because you need a strong desire for better on a personal sense. Spoon feeding people self-help/spirituality tends to be a one ways street if they don't seek it out first. And people tend to stubbornly cling to their dysfunctional patterns because it is all they know. 

[Aaron p]

I've heard people say that one of the best ways to learn is to teach. I guess this kinda links into how teaching other people literally is teaching yourself lol, in this way and in the nondual way

Edited August 18 by Aaron p

[AION]

15 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

"Helping others", is a broad topic. There can be numerous ways of helping others. See a baby drowning and going to help, lending someone money for rent, answering a question from someone in math class, helping Leo build this forum by contributing, I mean the list is endless. So it's impossible to draw a general conclusion on what helping others mean for you. 

Helping a drowning baby is a small thing. You shouldn’t make a fuss about that. 
 

 

8 hours ago, Aaron p said:

I've heard people say that one of the best ways to learn is to teach. I guess this kinda links into how teaching other people literally is teaching yourself lol, in this way and in the nondual way

Agreed. But only help people who are worth it. You can’t help everybody. 

[AION]

14 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

How can you be sure of what will be returned? 

You might forgo assisting another because you do not perceive a return in value - but this actually castrates you from the full potential of experience.

Something may be returned you could NEVER expect - and end up valuing more than you realise. 

The best parts of my experience have resulted in an unexpected return on investment 😁

If you help others because you want it to be returned with a guarantee you shouldn’t help them because that is not helping. That is business. 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

29 minutes ago, AION said:

If you help others because you want it to be returned with a guarantee you shouldn’t help them because that is not helping. That is business. 

I am unsure how this relates to what I commented.

I meant to state 'if you only do things for return, you don't get to reach life's potential' 

You should do things for others with no assumptions or intentions behind any outcome.

[EternalForest]

You should strive to help others purely because its the right thing to do, not because you'll personally get something out of it.

That being said, you also can't help others if your own safety is in danger: