Good Looking but Still Invisible to Women — What Am I Missing?

[Joshe]

Bro, are you already down there? lol. Some muscular black dude was just there doing pickup. 

[Princess Arabia]

22 minutes ago, Joshe said:

If not, pull up this street cam: https://liveduvalstreet.com/ 

Is this shit like live right now. That's pretty wild. Decent camera too.

[Joshe]

Just now, Princess Arabia said:

Is this shit like live right now. That's pretty wild. Decent camera too.

Yep, 24/7. You see some crazy shit on there. 

[Princess Arabia]

13 minutes ago, Joshe said:

Bro, are you already down there? lol. Some muscular black dude was just there doing pickup. 

OP's stomach is more ripped than that dude's. It's not him.

[Raze]

8 hours ago, czar24 said:

As an actionable next step, I’m considering purchasing RSD’s Hot Seat at Home with Owen Cook.
Has anyone here tried it?
Did it actually help you?
Have you seen results from it?

It feels like the least I can do for now—until I find a more effective solution.

Leo always says a “good wingman is worth more than any $10,000 bootcamp.”
The problem is, I don’t even have access to a wingman.

You can find a wing man on game global

Hot seat at home isn’t available for sale anymore officially, but if you can find it, it’s good.

Though it doesn’t teach a lot on things like technical game, texting, online dating, social circle which are also important aspects.

[Princess Arabia]

11 minutes ago, Joshe said:

Yep, 24/7. You see some crazy shit on there. 

Perfect to see how many couples there are. Just from the short time I've been watching, I've seen quite a few holding hands and obviously couples. All this talk about women and how men are finding it hard. No, men are finding it hard with hot women and picture perfect models. 

[ExploringReality]

@czar24 what is the core problem you are trying to solve overall?

[Joshe]

1 minute ago, Princess Arabia said:

Perfect to see how many couples there are. Just from the short time I've been watching, I've seen quite a few holding hands and obviously couples. All this talk about women and how men are finding it hard. No, men are finding it hard with hot women and picture perfect models. 

Right, you see more couples than anything, even at night. But night time is when you really see the action. Not sure how busy it is down there now though. 

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, Joshe said:

Right, you see more couples than anything, even at night. But night time is when you really see the action. Not sure how busy it is down there now though. 

Yeah, night time for pretty much anywhere streetwise is when the action usually starts and is. 

[czar24]

@ExploringReality

I'm trying to feel free within my own body and tap into the playful side of my personality.

I want to find exercise routines and practices that help me access that side, so I can become a much more approachable person—someone people genuinely want to be around.

I just want to stop feeling anxious all the time and constantly battling a head full of self-doubt.

Right now, I’m able to access this state temporarily through breathwork and meditation, but the effects don’t last very long. Eventually, I want to reach a point where this way of being is a natural part of who I am, and I no longer need breathwork or meditation to access it.

I wish I wasn't super logical all the time.

[czar24]

@Joshe i am having friendly interactions with women but most of them are rejections. I know its my fault. I suffer with anxiety and self-doubt so I probably project that onto women when I go out. I am trying to correct it but I feel like I took a wrong turn somewhere. I wonder if I am even applying the right methods.

[Princess Arabia]

16 minutes ago, czar24 said:

@ExploringReality

I'm trying to feel free within my own body and tap into the playful side of my personality.

I want to find exercise routines and practices that help me access that side, so I can become a much more approachable person—someone people genuinely want to be around.

I just want to stop feeling anxious all the time and constantly battling a head full of self-doubt.

Right now, I’m able to access this state temporarily through breathwork and meditation, but the effects don’t last very long. Eventually, I want to reach a point where this way of being is a natural part of who I am, and I no longer need breathwork or meditation to access it.

I wish I wasn't super logical all the time.

 

You can start by not just asking the males of the forum for advice on the topic because it's not a male issue it's a personality issue and you're actually trying to attract women with this attempt at personality change. I even said things to suggest how I like men who are a bit funny and witty and that in of itself is a clue what some women find attractive and can maybe help in your transformation by suggesting things they like to see men do and act to possibly attract more women. You can be helped not just by guys experience in overcoming this issue but also what women have to say about their experiences with the man you're trying to become. It's not that women won't reply, I'm doing that, but the mindset that cones with only wanting a male's perspective on the matter speaks volumes in and in of itself. It's a closed mindset. How you do one thing is usually how you do everything.

Edited 4 hours ago by Princess Arabia

[Joshe]

23 minutes ago, czar24 said:

@Joshe i am having friendly interactions with women but most of them are rejections. I know its my fault. I suffer with anxiety and self-doubt so I probably project that onto women when I go out. I am trying to correct it but I feel like I took a wrong turn somewhere. I wonder if I am even applying the right methods.

Have you tried not trying? LIke, just going out to have fun and not trying to pick anyone up? Putting myself out there when I was younger was difficult  for me as well due to social anxiety, but a few drinks always opened me right up.

If I were to set the intention of picking someone up, it would only increase my anxiety. When I dropped that intention, I was able to have fun, which attracts women. No effort required. Just have fun. If you're like me and find that difficult to do in social settings, have some drinks. 

If your goal is to master pickup, state, frame, methods, and all that stuff, I have no experience with that stuff and I'm biased against it. 

Edited 4 hours ago by Joshe

[Princess Arabia]

3 hours ago, czar24 said:

And if you’re a guy who used to be like this—depressed, overly serious—and you managed to tap into your playful, carefree side and build a strong inner frame… please let me know how you did it.

This suggests only guys need respond

Edited 4 hours ago by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

3 hours ago, czar24 said:

I guess what I’m trying to do with this post is reach out to any men who’ve dealt with this—being too serious, not enjoying life, taking things too hard—and who found routines or exercises that actually helped them get out of it.

This also. Why just men.

[theleelajoker]

32 minutes ago, czar24 said:

 

 

I just want to stop feeling anxious all the time and constantly battling a head full of self-doubt.

Right now, I’m able to access this state temporarily through breathwork and meditation, but the effects don’t last very long. Eventually, I want to reach a point where this way of being is a natural part of who I am, and I no longer need breathwork or meditation to access it.

I wish I wasn't super logical all the time.

 

Vipassana retreats. 

Nothing helped me more re interactions and anxiety, nothing helped me more get out of my head. It's not that it's all gone suddenly in one big bang, it might not be a straight path, it might take a while, it might take a while to integrate, you might change in a way you never expected.

But if I had to name one thing for me that helped me with the things you mention above, it's Vipassana retreats.

And I would do them again knowing what I know now and feeling what feel now.

Edited 4 hours ago by theleelajoker

[czar24]

@theleelajoker This is a cool idea! I started taking breathwork classes down here in Key West but I had a falling out wih one of the instructors. I might look for a Vipassana class in my area. How long did it take you to see a difference?

[theleelajoker]

 

32 minutes ago, czar24 said:

@theleelajoker This is a cool idea! I started taking breathwork classes down here in Key West but I had a falling out wih one of the instructors. I might look for a Vipassana class in my area. How long did it take you to see a difference?

 

Too complex to make conclusions from my experience to how it might be for you. Infinite variables. But for entertainment purposes only, that's my experience:

I could feel a huge difference starting with the first retreat (10 days).  Most impact faded after 2-3 months , but some stuck forever. Like breaking the ice, but not swimming in the frozen lake. Not yet. But now I know there's water beyond the frozen surface.

Some differences after second retreat, but nothing that jumped out in daily life. Dipping my toes into the water. Probing.

Third and fourth retreat was in rapid succession, and this was like jumping in the frozen lake, and diving to the ground. 

Social anxiety, for instance , after the integration of last two retreats is very close to zero almost all the time 

Other things are still ongoing but trending in very good direction.

[ExploringReality]

@czar24

There is a really profound book titled "psychocybernetics" by Maxwell waltz. I suggest reading it, it's very short and small. It's the author's journey from being a plastic surgeon turned psychiatrist and psychologist because he noticed this strange phenomenon on the people he did surgery on for their looks, aesthetics and attractiveness, that when he would perform a nose surgery or whatever the client would usually tell him that they noticed no difference and that they couldn't accept the fact that they looked different from the surgery because they have a self image of themselves. The key in this book is understanding what the self image is and this plays a very important part in sexuality and dating. No matter what surface level change you may make on your personality, if you don't get to the root of your subconscious self image then confidence and being yourself being attractive is going to be hid behind fear of judgment, anxiety and overthinking because shyness, anxiety around women and people, or being nervous or doubting ourselves and being not free in our bodies in directly tied into our core self image of ourselves. We have a poor self image, but changing that at a deep emotional, visual and psychological level will yield amazing results in being spontaneous and attractive to women because you will be free if yourself limitations and fears.

Edited 2 hours ago by ExploringReality

[ExploringReality]

2 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

You can start by not just asking the males of the forum for advice on the topic because it's not a male issue it's a personality issue and you're actually trying to attract women with this attempt at personality change. I even said things to suggest how I like men who are a bit funny and witty and that in of itself is a clue what some women find attractive and can maybe help in your transformation by suggesting things they like to see men do and act to possibly attract more women. You can be helped not just by guys experience in overcoming this issue but also what women have to say about their experiences with the man you're trying to become. It's not that women won't reply, I'm doing that, but the mindset that cones with only wanting a male's perspective on the matter speaks volumes in and in of itself. It's a closed mindset. How you do one thing is usually how you do everything.

True dat, but I wasn't going to give him dry male advice for dating. I did suggest a powerful practical and deep book, resources and inviting to introspect on his own experiences. 

Do you think he only wants male perspectives?