What distance is considered close to clubs timewise?

[Miguel1]

The difference between master seducers and noobs is that the advanced understands the concept of ”one thing led to another, and it just happened”.

You ain’t gonna logic your way into having sex with a girl.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

If you want to understand why living next to the club is important, you will need to understand what I said.

If don't care to understand, then continue holding your current view of things.

Everything I said here is related to the title of this thread. Do not make me out to be some monster stereotyping all women. I give a concrete answer to why distance is critical.

My intention isn't to try to undermine any of your points here - as I think they are valid.

I ask for further nuance because there are many users reading this - and not just them - many, many lurkers who also read these forums. Your statements carry weight so naturally others listen. The burden of power.

When you lump all of a gender or definition into a category you limit it. 

I think it is valid for me to point out more nuance is needed. You must admit your statement was black and white and without refinement could be viewed as myopic. It's not an excuse to push away this as 'If I have to state instances/nuances where this doesn't apply every time I would be here forever' when just ONE word 'most' changes the entire message of the statement. Precision. 

All I wished to do was prevent people from misinterpreting your statement.

Nothing more. 

 

[Leo Gura]

12 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

My intention isn't to try to undermine any of your points here - as I think they are valid.

I ask for further nuance because there are many users reading this - and not just them - many, many lurkers who also read these forums. Your statements carry weight so naturally others listen. The burden of power.

When you lump all of a gender or definition into a category you limit it. 

I think it is valid for me to point out more nuance is needed. You must admit your statement was black and white and without refinement could be viewed as myopic. It's not an excuse to push away this as 'If I have to state instances/nuances where this doesn't apply every time I would be here forever' when just ONE word 'most' changes the entire message of the statement. Precision. 

All I wished to do was prevent people from misinterpreting your statement.

Nothing more.

I understand your point.

Fair enough. Your additions balance out what I said.

I made a few edits to my original post to soften it.

Edited 17 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Miguel1 said:

The difference between master seducers and noobs is that the advanced understands the concept of ”one thing led to another, and it just happened”.

Ooops! I did it again

[aurum]

2 hours ago, theleelajoker said:

I wouldn't write any of this if I did not have sufficient examples where distance didn't matter.
Long rides with bike, long walks, trains, taxi, subway doesn't matter. If both are in the mood you just go for it and the distance is not a factor  (don't think I ever had to cover much more then 1h because few cities are that big)

My whole point is that if logistics matter that much, then it's nothing that is worthwhile for either one. 

You can take that approach, but you will get laid less.

If you don't care, that's your choice. 

2 hours ago, theleelajoker said:

Depends. You can find alignment, bonding (or the opposite) quite fast by being authentic, honest, relaxed. Couldn't do that in the past, but meditation helped tremendously. 

You are not doing deep bonding during a ONS. This is nonsense.

Serious bonding comes afterwards, if at all.

2 hours ago, theleelajoker said:

Hmm that makes me think. Isn't connecting the way to find out if you actually feel like having sex? 

Maybe if you're a woman.

2 hours ago, theleelajoker said:

And yes, at some point you have to make clear what intention each person has because it can become awkward if there is a big difference. But that's something you can talk about at any point if sme feels like it, right?

Most of the time you do not explicitly talk about it at all.

It's all implicit.

2 hours ago, theleelajoker said:

What's making it awkward in your POV if you connect too much?

Because it's too much bonding.

The whole point of a ONS is that you don't get attached. You have a superficial, fun experience and then release each other.

If you get too attached, it will either ruin the ONS, escalate to a long-term relationship or end up with someone getting their feelings crushed.

The idea that you're going to form some super-deep bond, then have a ONS and happily release each other is nonsense. That's not how it happens.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Leo Gura Overall I really actually value these perspectives - I essentially went 40 years completely blind to the troubles men face, and the difficulties balancing their sexual desires with life in general.

Because I see this from a female lens, I sometimes get tripped up digesting what is said when I am (as a woman) being pushed into a frame when it doesn't always apply. 

I think in a broader sense I want other women to realise the plights men face, so I want them to be able to listen without any knee-jerk reactions. Palatable truth

I appreciate!

 

[Leo Gura]

@Natasha Tori Maru Keep in mind we are talking about young immature women.

Women at the club are 20-30 years old. They are very immature, inexperienced, irresponsible, foolish, drunk.

You are looking at women from a 40 year old spiritual perspective.

Edited 16 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Leo Gura for sure - duly noted 

[Joshe]

You guys put so much effort into opening, DHV, etc. Maybe if you put the same effort into learning how to go beyond superficial connection, you might not have to worry if she’ll change her mind about sleeping with you during a 30-min car ride. You realize you could use those 30 minutes to make her want you even more, right? 

It’s sounds like what is being said is: “Move in quick and hypnotize them. Get them while they’re drunk and out of their wits. If you allow them to think about it too much, they’ll change their mind and deny me what I want. While I value carefully weighing and considering important decisions, their considering whether it’s a good idea to sleep with me is bad for me, so I gotta fuck them before they even know what happened.”

Imagine if a car salesman was operating like this? You’d say that salesman lacks integrity. 

Also, this whole idea of guys choosing their physical location based primarily on pussy logistics is some whacky shit. Young men, if you’re reading this, this is not healthy behavior. It’s scarcity mindset, desperation, and try-hard. Commit too much to such absurdity and risk permanent self-esteem issues. 

Edited 16 hours ago by Joshe

[Leo Gura]

@Joshe I'm not saying to do it. I'm explaining how and why it works.

IF you want to get laid a lot and easily, live walking distance to the club/bar.

Nightlife game is NOT dating. Stop treating it as dating. The woman will only have sex as long as she's in the mood, and her mood will change within minutes. You either close immediately or you will never see her again. This is not a date.

Edited 16 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Joshe]

4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

IF you want to get laid a lot and easily, live walking distance to the club/bar.

Yeah, that’s a no-brainer. 

Edited 15 hours ago by Joshe

[aurum]

You do want to be careful about "buyer's remorse".

Sometimes it's better to slow things down.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

11 minutes ago, aurum said:

You do want to be careful about "buyer's remorse".

Sometimes it's better to slow things down.

I was thinking on this and the process outlined.

You would probably naturally screen out more mature woman by using force to orcastrate sex. But again I think the overall aim here is to obtain sex, and this will get in the way of that aim. The women who are inclined to sleeping with men who push would be naturally more likely to take risks - and be less mature. Also perhaps less self assured and able to advocate for themselves ( lower self esteem ) - due to many woman prioritizing harmony at the cost of sovereignty. Alcohol also lowers all natural inhibitions. Higher chances of crazy.

I think if you slowed down as you say - you may be more likely to find a woman who would sleep with you, and be a long term prospect.

But if the aim is sex I can see why you would use leverage and some measured force to jump the logistical issues. That push would be seen as a red flag to mature woman so naturally filter them out - which is what you want if the aim is sex only.

It makes sense living close to a club or bar would help you pull successfully.

I saw this living 10 or so minutes from the biggest mecca for indie bars and clubs during my 20s (in Melbourne).

Edited 15 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[Joshe]

24 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Nightlife game is NOT dating. Stop treating it as dating. The woman will only have sex as long as she's in the mood, and her mood will change within minutes. You either close immediately or you will never see her again. This is not a date.

So when you go on a date, you actually are considerate, but when you’re doing pickup, you dispense with their consideration because it just gets in the way? Pickup cannot escape the integrity problem. 

[Leo Gura]

21 minutes ago, Joshe said:

you actually are considerate,

Depends on what you mean by considerate and by you.

Edited 15 hours ago by Leo Gura

[aurum]

5 hours ago, Jannes said:

Club exists where you can literally have sex directly in the club. 

I wonder how this effects the chances. 

Actually this is pretty similar to what it's like in a fraternity.

One of the best things for getting laid if you're in a fraternity is to live in the house, ideally with a single room.

Edited 15 hours ago by aurum

[Joshe]

36 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Depends on what you mean by considerate and by you.

Okay JP. 😂

[aurum]

1 hour ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

But if the aim is sex I can see why you would use leverage and some measured force to jump the logistical issues. That push would be seen as a red flag to mature woman so naturally filter them out - which is what you want if the aim is sex only.

I'd say it depends on how hard you push.

If you handle logistics elegantly, it actually doesn't feel like force. It just feels effortless. Like when a husband perfectly plans out a vacation and handles all the details so the wife can just relax.

If you broadcast fuck boy vibes and push for sex too soon, then yeah that might turn off mature women looking for something long-term.

Even mature women will appreciate some convenience and leading. They may just not need as much.

[ExploringReality]

@Leo Gura how do you close immediately 

[Leo Gura]

46 minutes ago, ExploringReality said:

@Leo Gura how do you close immediately 

Well, she has to be into you. Then you take her for an adventure that accidentally ends up in your bed.

Edited 13 hours ago by Leo Gura