difficulty relaxing/releasing stress - what can i do?

[Judy2]

hey:)

so these past few weeks i have been trying to make a lot of changes in life, but i find that there's a high level of stress in the background that i don't quite know how to deal with.

i'm constantly trying to "get thigs done": go for walks, journal, think about how to get better in life, think about my thesis, go to the gym, listen to self help podcasts, make or go to appointments, etc. etc. etc.

i don't quite know how to relax, because anything i could do to relax, e.g. going for walks, is just more stuff that i need to get done. but doing nothing and just sitting around is really boring and doesn't seem to help me relax, either.

...would appreciate it if you guys have any insights on this or any suggestions as to what might help:)

[Salvijus]

I'm guessing a bit here but if the things that you do are in alignment with what you're passionate about, then chores no longer feel stressful but exciting, thrilling and inspirational. There is also a rewarding feeling of fulfillment that comes you know you did something useful today by maintaining your discipline. 

[Judy2]

@Salvijus i do feel a bit of that at times, but i also feel really stressed because there's so much going on at once and idk how to cool down even if i sit down and take some time to not do anything.

[Salvijus]

5 minutes ago, Judy2 said:

@Salvijus i do feel a bit of that at times, but i also feel really stressed because there's so much going on at once and idk how to cool down even if i sit down and take some time to not do anything.

Guessing again. You're routine could be missing meditation. Sometimes zoning out, plunging into yourself feels really good and refreshing. 

Edited July 20 by Salvijus

[Judy2]

@Salvijus yes you're right about that...

[Salvijus]

5 minutes ago, Judy2 said:

@Salvijus yes you're right about that...

There's a 30min guided meditation from forgiveness, gratitude, hopefulness course that I could send you. If you want. 

[theleelajoker]

@Judy2

You like music? I like to take a walk with my headphones and sing to songs I like.I also like videogames.

Those are things that have no desirable result, no bigger purpose except for doing it for the sake of doing it. (Don't want to become a singer or pro gamer)

Reading for entertainment, not to learn, might be something. I like character - driven fantasy books or historical stuff.

Feeling, putting attention in your body, also might be something. Simple curiosity of "ok how does this or that part of my body feel right now?" 

The key is to be a) deeply involved into some activity and b) feel like the activity itself is the purpose. 

What exactly these activities are for you, that of course I don't know just giving ideas to maybe support your process

[Judy2]

@Salvijus okay, i'd like to try it:) thank you for offering to do that.

Edited July 20 by Judy2

[Judy2]

@theleelajoker thanks, that's really helpful:)

[Salvijus]

@Judy2

https://limewire.com/?referrer=pq7i8xx7p2

I recommend using headphones. 

 

Edited July 20 by Salvijus

[Judy2]

@Salvijusthank you!

[Sugarcoat]

To deal with stress requires us to go inward. ‘

[Schizophonia]

49 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

To deal with stress requires us to go inward. ‘

hanging out

[Sugarcoat]

9 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

hanging out

That might apply to the average person

[Princess Arabia]

6 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

To deal with stress requires us to go inward. ‘

That's where the stress generates from. That's the problem, too much about inward. Everything's about inward, even the outward is about the inward. 

[Princess Arabia]

Your answers are in your statements. Too much about the self. Trying to relax is just another "to do list". Too much concern, too much fear. Me telling you to do anything as in relax, go for walks, do this do that , don't do this don't do that is all about the self and a to do and not to do list. How about not being concerned with the stress, not being concerned about what's taking place. I know that's suggesting what not to do but what's being suggested here is to not be concerned about being relaxed or stressed. That's where the worry is, not in the circumstances and what's being done or not done. Just look at it as life being life. 

If I'm being stressed I look at it as "oh my, I'm stressed today", that's it. If I'm relaxed that day, I notice relaxation taking place. No need to be concerned about changing any of it. It changes itself. No one is stressed all the time, and no one is relaxed all the time. The current will flow and allow for the necessary changes. The worrying is the problem and the need to also not worry is what's driving and fueling the worrying. Stress releases itself.

Edited July 21 by Princess Arabia

[Judy2]

@Princess Arabia oh...that makes sense:) very insightful.

so in other words, i don't have to stress about the stress - i can just notice it and leave it be, and it'll resolve itself?

Edited July 21 by Judy2

[theleelajoker]

11 hours ago, Judy2 said:

@theleelajoker thanks, that's really helpful:)

One more thing just came to my mind...meeting people! So when I hang out with friends, I typically meet them just to be with them. 

[Princess Arabia]

6 hours ago, Judy2 said:

@Princess Arabia oh...that makes sense:) very insightful.

so in other words, i don't have to stress about the stress - i can just notice it and leave it be, and it'll resolve itself?

Stress doesn't resolve itself. Stress is stress and cannot be any other thing. What happens is something else takes it's place. Stress is not a problem, the you is. Sorry to say. It's the you that needs to resolve itself. You are not stressing about the stress. It's just stress. I'm expressing it this way because anything else, any advice will only be band aids and addressing the symptom. If the root cause, you, isn't addressed, tomorrow it'll be something else and something else and something else. What to do about the root cause? Nothing. There's none. Problem and issue solved.

[Judy2]

17 hours ago, theleelajoker said:

 

The key is to be a) deeply involved into some activity and b) feel like the activity itself is the purpose. 

...thought about it and i think this one's crucial to remind myself of:)