Becoming Emotionally Grounded Vs Finding The Beauty In Everything

[Torkys]

Hey everyone!

My question is really serious, if I choose badly, I will piss away a heck alot of time and emotional labor.

I am 14, I started this journey around 4 months ago. I came to know that the self is an illusion (not enlightment though), I am becoming more conscious of the fact what is worth doing. I think I watched 30+ hours of Leo's content, and it changed my preception of life.

I came to a place where I think I need to decide how I should get emotional "control" and "control" over my "negative" emotions. I think I have 2 options: to experience pain to the point where suffering is no more, or I should find the beauty in physical and mental pain.

I started doing Strong Determination "Lying" (because I am lying on my back when I meditate) combined with the Do Nothing technique for only around 30 minutes a day and I see drastic changes. I started seeing seperation between pain and suffering. It worked until I took a day off. After that day, I started becoming a fucking victim again and blaming others when I know deep inside that I am just a weak minded fucker.

On the other hand, I am planning to become a (both materialistic and lifestyle) minimalist this summer and I have experienced finding beauty in everything a few times. One time I was sitting on a bus and looking through the window, I almost started crying seeing the beauty of nature and human engineering. This path seems valid too, but I find slowing down difficult (especially with exams comin' up and I don't have the right priorities in life).

I see both paths valid. Which should I choose? Should I do both of these things? Are there other options?
Thank you for your answers, I really appreciate 'em alot!

[Nahm]

@Torkys seems like you are arbitrarily picking two things and creating a scenario in which you have to pick from them.  

[Pav]

You managed to see beauty in the world around you, this is an incredible thing which sadly few people possess. 

Pursue whichever path you like; live in a cave and meditate all day or go all out in the rat race; it doesn't really matter all too much which path you take, just don't let any egoic bullshit distract you too much from the magic that is all around you.

You've been given this opportunity to experience life and it is incredible, beautiful, complete magic. This is what's truly important. Don't let life pass you by without ever having stopped to smell the roses.

[Visionary]

If you can teach yourself (through meditation for example) to stop being a bliss junkie, that's when the magic happens: detached and loving/appreciating everything that arises in the present moment. Love reality in its totality

[SOUL]

I'm pleased to see that you put the words "control" and "negative" in quotes because those are words that can complicate things so at least you recognize they need to be contextualized. Trying to control, especially something like emotions, is very frustrating and virtually an impossibility since emotions rise from our unconscious mind. "Negative" is really just our personal perspective of something, it's not that emotions are in of themselves either positive or negative.

I'm also pleased to learn you have already begun to see the distinction between pain and suffering, while we are in painful circumstances it is commonly referred to as suffering, though, there is a self imposed suffering that happens when we aren't immediately in the painful circumstances but it continues to linger in our consciousness.

What you called being a victim and it isn't necessarily a commentary on whether the painful circumstances were of our own doing or not but the victim mindset is a form of self suffering which you apparently recognize. It doesn't mean you are weak minded at all, even the most strong minded people will self suffer, it's just the way the ego will exert influence to guide us into certain behaviors.

It seems you would benefit from becoming more detached from the reactionary emotional impulses evoked by the ego, this doesn't mean become detached from all emotions, it's just not reflexively endorsing the ones that the ego offers up. When the ego wants you to suffer with an emotion that makes it the situation or you feel even worse, don't agree with it.

It's difficult to counter those reactionary impulses the ego instigates in us in the moment they are occurring so it's helpful to work to counter them in meditation beforehand. By using visualization to envision ourselves in circumstances that would normally trigger the suffering emotions but instead we see ourselves thinking, feeling and behaving in the alternative ways we seek for ourselves.

Music is a powerful resource for us to inspire emotional connection to ideas so if you can find non-distracting music to use in these meditation sessions it will make them more effective when coupled with the visualizations. Cultivate the emotional response you seek with help from inspiring music while envisioning yourself in those circumstances will influence the unconscious mind to make the associations we intend and will "recall" them in the circumstances.

It may not happen right away and it may not disappear forever even after we do see some change in us but eventually we can find relief from self suffering through letting go of the old and using the imagination to create new. The mind can't really tell the difference between what's real and what's imagined because it uses the same parts of the brain for both, use that to your advantage.

 

[Torkys]

@Nahm Thank you for making me awere of my own stupidity! I can do Strong Determination Sitting while just enjoying the present moment.

@Visionary Can't be finding the beauty in everything just a surface level solution, aka fake growth? This caused me to seek help. Please write about your experiences!

@SOUL Never thought of doing this through visualization! Thanks, awesome idea!

Just to update you, I am really thinking about the "finding the beauty in everything" option. It would cover more things in "Leo's Sage Checklist", which is required to live a good life. Thank you for all of your answers so far!

[Visionary]

By finding the beauty in everything you will automatically become emotionally stable my friend. By loving every form of negativity you not only become detached from clinging to good feelings, but you will start loving everything and everyone. This is the best skill to cultivate. Unconditional love. Towards yourself first. Then towards everything that arises. Even the negative feelings and experiences. Don't use an umbrella. Feel the rain and love it to death. You will see how perfect everything is.

Some say this is an easy task. But to me this really was not the case. I've had some serious anxiety issues. People with anxiety problems tend to be very creative in self sabotage. So i've had to raise my awareness/consciousness in order to have a better grasp of this process. Raise your consciousness and cultivate unconditional love. Emotional stability is a byproduct of that path.

[Martin123]

On 5/18/2017 at 11:53 PM, Torkys said:

I am just a weak minded fucker.

SHUT

THE FUCK

UP

you are divinely perfect bundle of love who deserves nothing but validation and appreciation.

You mistook PD for beating yourself up.

[Torkys]

On 2017. 05. 20. at 3:41 PM, Martin123 said:

You mistook PD for beating yourself up.

You literally breaking your own "rule".

And I am not hitting myself with a metaphorical hammer. It's the best description of what I thought and felt. (I need to check your Shadow Work post though )